My love letter to Massachusetts, after six months together (Boston: mortgage, environment)

[crazyworld]

Sad to think that everyone in MA is stereotyped.... We are not all like that.

[RLCMA]

This is a totally lame post. Post comments or questions....not poems.

[Amerie]

I thought it was a good poem. But I actually had a different experience when I lived in Boston - people were very friendly. You want to see unfriendly......move to NYC -nobody speaks and everybody is always in a hurry

[waccamatt]

Originally Posted by CaseyB

Gee, I'm sorry if that bothers you so much, I cringe whenever I hear it.

I love the Boston accent, it has character and depth.

[goyguy]

There's definitely more than a little "coldness" here in MA, but that and the broad streak of sarcasm and irony which seems to exist suit me. Where accents are concerned, there's no single "twang" here but the one which grates sometimes is the one heard most from blue-collar White people: misplaced or non-existent r's as in, "We wuhn't fa rinto the convasation befoah she was stahhtin' wit me." Especially when it's brayed by a noisy drunken woman...natives and transplants alike grit their teeth. It all depends on who's saying what and how. For the most part I think all the distinctions are great, and I wish more remained in our "social leveling" world of TV and the Internet. I've said before and will say again that I think "accent coaching" should be outlawed. It's ugly and elitist to make assumptions based on how somebody speaks.

People are rarely being condescending if they pick up on a different-sounding speech pattern and ask its origin. My parents relocated to Ohio from the deep South before I existed, held onto their drawls pretty well (though its delivery sped up), and still sometimes get asked where they're from. After nearly 30 years in New England I hear this pretty often too. By the time I'm part of the way through explaining that I was reared in a "border state" by Southern parents in a racially diverse area the questioner has heard enough! It can and does get annoying after the "umpteenth" time, but people are just being naturally inquisitive and friendly.

Having just returned from ten days in central Kentucky and Cincinnati, I'm reminded anew of how smiles and kind words and gestures occur way more easily in that part of the world than this one. Driving no more than 5 mph over the limit due to unfamiliarity with an area didn't draw horn blasts, flashed high-beams, or "the bird" - the other driver simply waited for the next opportunity to pass, then took it. But whether this is due to a difference in human behavior or because of well-paved roads with more than adequate capacity is another question for another day. What's still a definite difference between there and here is, a lot of people continue to think nothing of saying a pleasant word when passing on foot in Kentucky and Ohio. In New England it's cause for attack mode. There are immediate neighbors who moved onto the block last December and can't be bothered to say hello - I don't know their names yet, others who've been around for years and are barely past that stage, and still others who happily do the more "typically Southern" thing of pausing for a quick chat that runs over half an hour and trading invitations for dinners or parties. And I actually prefer it that way. A lot of niceness IS phoniness.

Anything about a place or a group of people can be attacked and picked apart if somebody is of that frame of mind. Want some cheese with those whines, p-and-r?

[sapphire-rose]

I enjoyed the poem; as to weather I agree or disagree with the statement it makes is neither here nor there. This is from a persons heart and mind on their perspective. Haveing been born and raised in MA., and away for 5 years now, out here I am always asked "you're not from here, are you?" I do not hear an accent from folks out here I think they sound like me. (??) I've lived in 4 different states, and have found the out going and friendly, the rude and not careing, also very reserved or non trusting. IMO it doesn't matter where we live, human nature abounds in many forms and personalities. I have my quirks, and I like to be who I am, not what anyone thinks I should be. I have many reasons why I love Massachusetts, and as well many things I'd love to see get changed.
With that being said, lets examine our own selves and how many of us are guilty of passing judgement on another by posts?

[TomDot]

Originally Posted by MovingForward

People in Boston are no more nor less friendly than people anywhere else. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

I gotta agree with you MF. If we are so unfriendly here in Mass, then why is it that when I travel out of state, which I do 2 to three times a year, that I do not find myself saying "Gee this is a friendly part of the country". I seem to be missing something.

Another thing: My "obnoxious accent" has not only gotten me layed several times but it gave me the woman I am married to.

[aleigho]

Brilliantly written.

[azaleaeight]

I was born and raised in Massachusetts, and I have my bones to pick with a lot of how things in government are done here. Still, I've never had reason to think people in Massachusetts don't hold doors for others or aren't friendly.

I don't know where you've been hanging out, but Massachusetts isn't just Walden Pond and whatever city you've been in where some people don't hold doors.

With highways and Boston, Massachusetts drivers are known for being a little "driven" - there's no doubt about that. That, though, is probably because Eastern Massachusetts is pretty densely populated - more people, more crowds, more obnoxious behavior on the whole.

No, Massachusetts is not Mayberry or some folksy little place where everybody says, "Hey" to everybody else. With a good number of well educated, professional, and intelligent people there may, in fact, be a tendency of many people to lean a little more toward being "refined", which could, I suppose, be interpreted as not being friendly. Jay Leno often jokes about his mother's Scottish ancestry, which made her lean toward telling him to keep quiet and don't make a scene. Conan O'Brien talks about his Irish-background family (and doctor father) who emphasized modesty. People with a British ancestry often, too, have been raised with an emphasis on refinement. So, between so much European ancestry and so much education, high tech, and history; maybe there is a leaning toward being a little reticent toward too much friendliness with strangers.

Massachusetts is not, however, the only place where manners these days have taken a backseat; or where people who are, in fact, just rude are found.

[NorthShoreBeauty]

Originally Posted by packedandready

Dear Massachusetts,

We've been together almost six months. Certainly we've had our share of ups and downs, and sometimes I can love and hate you within the same minute.

Our good times have been wonderful. I've enjoyed your italian food, standing on a frozen Walden Pond, admiring and paying homage to the great authors who once drew inspiration from your landscape and tranquility. Your focus on education is at the very least desirable and it's always good to be particular in what ever you decide to endeavor. We shared a few moments in the fall, when I must say you really made an impression.

But then things took a turn. You became cold--both inside and out. Suddenly I began to notice that you stopped enjoying life, and your goal became nothing but getting where you were going as quickly as possible, with narily a thought as to anyone else around you. You took great offense when the car in front of you didnt lightning bolt ahead when the light turned green. I was even shoved by a clerk in the Banana Republic when I was in your way. What was so startling at first was my attempt to be kind to another human--no false pretense to be found--was met with mistrust and you refused to make eye contact. A simple "have a great day!" to the grocery store clerk, mailman or doctor's office receptionist suddenly meant I wanted something, or worse...I was being "fake." I have been insulted by comments about the hint of southern accent when I speak. Not to be harsh, but your accent isnt exactly music to the ears.

I wish you would help me understand how condescending responses, unwillingness to so much as hold a door for the person behind you or just common courtesy for your fellow man could possibly fall under "quiet reserve"?

I assure you, all your education, progressive thinking and sheer brilliance means nothing if the human dynamic--the part that really matters--sits on the back burner.

I just have one last question. Where is it that you are going that you must get there so quickly? I mean this literally and rhetorically. Is it the mortgage? the lust for progression in your career? I wish you were happier!

I hope you take these thoughts and realize that this may be just one more opportunity to "lead the way" to someone who is obviously pensive about her surroundings. "First seek to understand, then to be understood." Please believe me, Im trying.

Warm regards,
Packedandready

Oh, come on. Boston is a wonderful place. You just have to take our no-bull**** attitudes (which some may consider a bad thing) with a grain of salt. Give MA another try...and the accent, I believe, is a beautiful thing.