My love letter to Massachusetts, after six months together (Boston: live in, restaurant)

[packedandready]

Dear Massachusetts,

We've been together almost six months. Certainly we've had our share of ups and downs, and sometimes I can love and hate you within the same minute.

Our good times have been wonderful. I've enjoyed your italian food, standing on a frozen Walden Pond, admiring and paying homage to the great authors who once drew inspiration from your landscape and tranquility. Your focus on education is at the very least desirable and it's always good to be particular in what ever you decide to endeavor. We shared a few moments in the fall, when I must say you really made an impression.

But then things took a turn. You became cold--both inside and out. Suddenly I began to notice that you stopped enjoying life, and your goal became nothing but getting where you were going as quickly as possible, with narily a thought as to anyone else around you. You took great offense when the car in front of you didnt lightning bolt ahead when the light turned green. I was even shoved by a clerk in the Banana Republic when I was in your way. What was so startling at first was my attempt to be kind to another human--no false pretense to be found--was met with mistrust and you refused to make eye contact. A simple "have a great day!" to the grocery store clerk, mailman or doctor's office receptionist suddenly meant I wanted something, or worse...I was being "fake." I have been insulted by comments about the hint of southern accent when I speak. Not to be harsh, but your accent isnt exactly music to the ears.

I wish you would help me understand how condescending responses, unwillingness to so much as hold a door for the person behind you or just common courtesy for your fellow man could possibly fall under "quiet reserve"?

I assure you, all your education, progressive thinking and sheer brilliance means nothing if the human dynamic--the part that really matters--sits on the back burner.

I just have one last question. Where is it that you are going that you must get there so quickly? I mean this literally and rhetorically. Is it the mortgage? the lust for progression in your career? I wish you were happier!

I hope you take these thoughts and realize that this may be just one more opportunity to "lead the way" to someone who is obviously pensive about her surroundings. "First seek to understand, then to be understood." Please believe me, Im trying.

Warm regards,
Packedandready

[LeavingMA]

That is pretty good. I enjoyed reading it.

[MovingForward]

Originally Posted by packedandready

Dear Massachusetts,

We've been together almost six months. Certainly we've had our share of ups and downs, and sometimes I can love and hate you within the same minute.

Our good times have been wonderful. I've enjoyed your italian food, standing on a frozen Walden Pond, admiring and paying homage to the great authors who once drew inspiration from your landscape and tranquility. Your focus on education is at the very least desirable and it's always good to be particular in what ever you decide to endeavor. We shared a few moments in the fall, when I must say you really made an impression.

But then things took a turn. You became cold--both inside and out. Suddenly I began to notice that you stopped enjoying life, and your goal became nothing but getting where you were going as quickly as possible, with narily a thought as to anyone else around you. You took great offense when the car in front of you didnt lightning bolt ahead when the light turned green. I was even shoved by a clerk in the Banana Republic when I was in your way. What was so startling at first was my attempt to be kind to another human--no false pretense to be found--was met with mistrust and you refused to make eye contact. A simple "have a great day!" to the grocery store clerk, mailman or doctor's office receptionist suddenly meant I wanted something, or worse...I was being "fake." I have been insulted by comments about the hint of southern accent when I speak. Not to be harsh, but your accent isnt exactly music to the ears.

I wish you would help me understand how condescending responses, unwillingness to so much as hold a door for the person behind you or just common courtesy for your fellow man could possibly fall under "quiet reserve"?

I assure you, all your education, progressive thinking and sheer brilliance means nothing if the human dynamic--the part that really matters--sits on the back burner.

I just have one last question. Where is it that you are going that you must get there so quickly? I mean this literally and rhetorically. Is it the mortgage? the lust for progression in your career? I wish you were happier!

I hope you take these thoughts and realize that this may be just one more opportunity to "lead the way" to someone who is obviously pensive about her surroundings. "First seek to understand, then to be understood." Please believe me, Im trying.

Warm regards,
Packedandready

Oh give me a break already. What nonsense.

[litlux]

Not only is that a wonderful bit of writing, it is all too true as well. Thank you for sharing it!

[CaseyB]

I thought it was good, too. The only thing is I would urge you to visit other parts of the state (if you haven't yet) and maybe you will discover friendlier folks.

By the way, I love southern accents and agree that the Boston accent is really ugly.

[holden125]

Originally Posted by packedandready

Not to be harsh, but your accent isnt exactly music to the ears.

It's music to my ears.

Originally Posted by packedandready

What was so startling at first was my attempt to be kind to another human--no false pretense to be found--was met with mistrust and you refused to make eye contact. A simple "have a great day!" to the grocery store clerk, mailman or doctor's office receptionist suddenly meant I wanted something, or worse...I was being "fake." I have been insulted by comments about the hint of southern accent when I speak.

Originally Posted by packedandready

I wish you would help me understand how condescending responses, unwillingness to so much as hold a door for the person behind you or just common courtesy for your fellow man could possibly fall under "quiet reserve"?

It strikes me as potentially a question of style or tone. Given the "quiet reserve" it might help to curb outward enthusiasm. I, and people I know, often tell people to have a great day but in such a low-key way that it doesn't register as strange. I've seen other people (with Southern accents) do the same thing in a manner which is natural to them, but strikes New Englanders as out of the ordinary and, given experience, fake, even though I don't doubt you mean it sincerely.

This can be a tough place to "break in" (particularly if you can't easily "pass" as local) and people can be gruff, but when you're in you're in. While I try to be courteous to everyone, and never affirmatively rude, I think many people here view "the human element" not as unimportant, but as something primarily applicable to one's immediate circle. With some people, like in a store, the contact will be so brief there's not much you can do to get past the gruffness or even rudeness. The question is whether you can shrug that off and think it's worth it here. It's easy for me since I'm used to it and like everything up here so much there's no doubt it's worth it.

People here are busy, live in a fast-paced culture, and the winter has a bad effect on morale and mood for many. There are a lot of people crammed into a small area with Byzantine roads and a spotty public transit system. It doesn't always lead to observance of niceties. Some (many) try to be courteous (I do) while others don't do as well in that department. You either take the bad with the good or move on. It's unfortunately unlikely that the negative aspects of the place will change, only your reaction can.

I have been made to wait for an hour in a restaurant in the south, and had other less than pleasant experiences, because I didn't have the slightest hint of a southern accent. There is some degree of regional hostility that has not yet been eliminated. I know people in the Boston area who, though it's not particularly fair, have come to cringe at a southern accent because of the perception that that is the region that gave us 8 years of Bush. I do think the 2000 and 2004 elections hardened regional antipathy to some degree, and that may improve as time passes.

[MovingForward]

People in Boston are no more nor less friendly than people anywhere else. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

[holden125]

Originally Posted by CaseyB

By the way, I love southern accents and agree that the Boston accent is really ugly.

[CaseyB]

Originally Posted by holden125

Gee, I'm sorry if that bothers you so much, I cringe whenever I hear it.

[MovingForward]

Originally Posted by CaseyB

Gee, I'm sorry if that bothers you so much, I cringe whenever I hear it.

So cringe. Who cares?