Commuting from Westwood/Canton vs Metro west? (Boston, Newton: rent, jobs)

[newlyrelocated]

Hello all -- my husband and I are new to the area, relocated for jobs and currently renting. He is down in Taunton off the 495, and I will be starting in a few months at Boston Medical Center (near Mass Ave and Harrison Ave, Roxbury I think). We keep going in circles figuring out where would be best to buy as far as commuting goes. We do have small children (not in school yet) and want to make the most of our time off of work to be with them, so ideally neither of us would like to spend a whole lot of time in transit. We moved from the West coast so are still getting used to the "feel" of having towns and town-centers as opposed to larger suburban areas, but like the idea of living in an area with nearby restaurants, parks, amenities like groceries, etc, somewhat close by. (Not necessary to be walking distance).

Initially we were thinking that I would take the commuter rail in from wherever, and that we would choose a community in between -- we were thinking maybe Canton, or Westwood. I do like the idea of taking the train and maybe getting some work done while not stressing about traffic. However I've been told it would be better to live off of the 90 instead, perhaps in Newton or further west, out in Natick or Framingham. Would the drive from there be better than taking the train from say, 128 station? Or is it roughly equivalent time-wise?
Thanks in advance!
Any other suggestions for areas to check out?