Snobbiness?? (Boston, Lawrence, Framingham: crime, mortgages, how much)

[dmoss79]

Originally Posted by Terrapin2212

Don't worry about it. Everyone I've met from Massachusetts was wonderful much to my surprise. Read my old post in the Boston forum.

Now Connecticut, Westchester, Long Island...that's real snobbiness.

I have to admit you are somewhat limited in your thinking. I am from Long Island, born and raised for 18 years and visit there often and its so insulting knowing I am a nice and decent hardworking adult for you to just call the whole area snobby.
My parents and a good amount of my family still live there as does my friends, you must have had one bad experience and not met nice people there-please dont call an entire area snobby unless you have met everyone that lives there and everyone that moved out of the area.
I think it would insult you if I made negative comments about where you are from.

[tchemgrrl]

I found it interesting reading all the responses.. I'm from New England originally, but have lived in the Midwest for a few years. I think a lot of what people are talking about has to do with what YOU consider to be rude or not rude.

Personally, I feel like I'm being rude if I walk up to a stranger and take time out of their day by talking to them for no reason. Maybe they're in the middle of remembering their grocery list, or are silently practicing for a job interview they have later in the day, or are thinking pleasant thoughts far away from this long line we're standing in. I don't assume that whatever I have to say is more important than their thoughts.

Likewise, I feel like salespeople are being "pushy" when they initiate a conversation when I'm walking around minding my own business. They're *not* my friends, they're being paid to sell me something. Why should I welcome that behavior? Instead, I avoid the stores with talky salespeople.

When people start chatting with me out here, I often get confused--do they want to ask me the time but are embarrassed for some reason? Are they going to ask me for money? Why are they talking?

In other places, people seem to view these *same* interactions differently. Talking to a stranger waiting in line is viewed as... well, I'm not sure, maybe someone else can chime in. An act of kindness? Proof of friendliness?

Through this filter, New England reserve is seen as snobbishness. And some folks on this thread have said that they consider a silent salesperson as tantamount to them actively refusing to help and terribly rude, when I'd consider them polite for not interfering with me finding what I'm looking for.

Just food for thought, I suppose.

[MovingForward]

I'm really surprised at all of the comments about people from MA or New England being "rude" or the area, other than Boston, not being "diverse." I'm from Texas, originally--lived most of the first 25 years of my life there--but have been in New England for the last 25 years. I have to say, when I return to Texas to visit family, I'm often quite put off by people who just barge right into your personal space with their "friendliness." I know it's just Texas, and people really are being friendly, but I'm not used to that, any more. They probably think I'm a "snob," too, when they see me back away. It's not true: it's just a regional difference concerning personal space, in my opinion.

And as for diversity: there is real and present racism not just in New England, but everywhere in this country. Having said that, I don't think there's anything necessarily "wrong" with a region where most people are of one race: after all, if you were to visit Sweden or Tanzania or a province of India, would you accuse those cultures of lacking diversity because one race predominates? The U.S., of course, has a different history, so the lack of diversity--as far as integration is concerned--is a serious problem to be addressed. I think, however, that we need to address class inequities just as much, if not more than, race inequities, because I think doing so would help to eliminate racism more than anything else. One thing I've learned over the years from my black students: they are sick and tired of being told that the color of their skin is the most important thing about them, that who they are as individuals is secondary. What they want is professional and economic opportunity, not self-esteem classes or 1960s rhetoric about how bad/great it is to be black. One of my solidly middle-class students turned down Princeton in favor of the college I teach at (still an excellent private college) because he said it was so obvious that they wanted him just because he was black, and not because of any of his accomplishments as an individual. Another student--from impoverished, drug-addicted and alcoholic parents--lives in Dorchester and is desperately trying to find a job--any job--to get out. We ran into each other on the subway one day: he had borrowed a suit for a job interview for maintenance work at a local hotel. He asked me if I thought he should be ashamed to be doing such work. I told him no, that I spent most of my undergraduate years mopping the floor at Pizza Hut. He didn't get the job (because he doesn't speak Spanish--how is that legal, btw?) and was devastated. He said he was losing hope for ever getting out of poverty. Whenever the issue of race comes up in class, most of my students (and they are predominantly black and latino) lose patience. Students of all colors want to be recognized and assisted in achieving their personal goals; they are increasingly resistant to being inscripted into political agendas based on identity politics. They want an expanded connection and community--in part, I think, because they've grown up in a very different world than the one I grew up in, one which is--despite all its enduring racism and class bias--more diverse and global than ever before.

okay, sorry, rambling. . . . yes, I agree that Boston is shamefully segregated.

[MovingForward]

P.S. I should clarify the student examples I've given. Only the middle-class student who turned down Princeton attended the "excellent private college." The student from Dorchester, as well as the Latino students, attended a junior college I taught at for a few years. Just wanted to clarify that, thanks.

[baystater]

Originally Posted by MovingForward

okay, sorry, rambling. . . . yes, I agree that Boston is shamefully segregated.

the segregation of Boston is going to take awhile to work it way through. the one "real" hope to break the circle is that the younger generations X,Y, and Millenniums have more interracial marriages/relationships. This in my opinion that the only real way to end it for the most part.

Heck the white community has it own bit of racism inside itself. My parents for instance ran into this issue when they were married in 1969. My father is Italian and my mother is Irish. They said about 1/4 of my mothers family would not show up for the wedding because my father was not Irish. Crazy right. OK now to me and my girlfriend. Now you know my mix of races but my girlfriend is Jewish. Now I started dating my GF about 2 1/2 years ago and we're still going strong. So I was recently talking to may GF recently and she said that at the beginning her parents were very concerned that I was not Jewish and doubted the relationship would last because we were from different cultures. In fact her father told her that he would have never let a non-Jewish boy date when she was a teenager. I guess he learn to loosen up after he realized that we were happy together.

Well that's my stories and I'm stick'in to 'em

baystater

[FrozenAngel]

Originally Posted by verobeach

I moved from Massachusetts, where I lived my whole life, to Illinois, and I couldn't get over how everyone smiled for no reason. Idiotic almost. It seemed as though they just walked around grinning. I can see how someone from the midwest might interpret Massachusetts as snobby but it's just us northerners keeping our smiles in check for what's important.

I think it's the cold weather here and the stressful fast pace of life that makes many of us not as friendly and smileless. I was much friendlier in my 20's and 30's then I am now in my 40's and I sure have a lot more stress now. Not too much to smile about and it obviously shows.

[hurricane1]

I think the snobbishness is due the fact that Boston is known for its brain power. Everyone in the area pretends to know everything about everything--whether or not they actually do--it's like a cat puffing itself up to intimidate its opponent. Boston folks think knowing everything is expected of them, so they pretend to do so even if they don't. If they don't know something, they lie, rather than appear to be stupid or lose an arguement.

I, on the other hand, am expected to be stupid, because I am a Southerner. I have learned to play that card for what it is worth!!

[LeavingMA]

Originally Posted by hurricane1

I think the snobbishness is due the fact that Boston is known for its brain power. Everyone in the area pretends to know everything about everything--whether or not they actually do--it's like a cat puffing itself up to intimidate its opponent. Boston folks think knowing everything is expected of them, so they pretend to do so even if they don't. If they don't know something, they lie, rather than appear to be stupid or lose an arguement.

I, on the other hand, am expected to be stupid, because I am a Southerner. I have learned to play that card for what it is worth!!

I never understood some of New Englanders attitude that southerners are stupid. My best guess is their impression of southerners is just because they have a little bit of a different lifestyle and approach to life, and until recently many of the southern cities were not as big as northern cities. With Boston you get this elitism because of all these so-called "big time" colleges, and people thinking it is the mecca of everything.

It is funny now, because all these northerners are moving down south.

[keepthefaith]

Boston is the one city on the East Coast in which I would never live. I couldn't stand it there.

[FrozenAngel]

Originally Posted by puffle

Funny you should mention cashiers...that was my only negative experience in Ma. was the supermarker checkers that were so rude. They wouldn't say hello, thank you or ask if they could help. So different in California. Very helpful that way.

Could be why you see so many automated checkouts in MA!