Suddenly forced to move to MA and scared about it. Kindly asking for help! (Boston: mortgage, home)

[robma44541]

Dear Syracusa,
After reading the posts of the professorsenator, you can now see why your fears were real about Boston and New England in general. I lived there for 26 long years after spending as much time in my home country, England, and I can tell you as soon as my children were grown I got out as fast as I could!
All the rumors are true, they can be very rude, self-centred, arrogant people and the cliques are real, your either one of them or your not!
And your political stance will have to be Liberal Democrat, because they rule the house and senate, it is truly a one party state.
You will always be an outsider and don't forget about the weather, its no Georgia!
Good Luck to you in your future move.
LeftMAforNC.

[ThinkingThinking]

I am not european (but I have been told I should be!) I was born and raised in Portland, OR... and was suddenly uprooted to live in North Carolina and then Houston TX. I hated it. I (i'll admit, still sometimes) constantly compared where I have come from, to where I am... much the same way you are doing. I have learned over the years, that your happiness within a location depends a lot on your own personal effort... I am looking forward to moving to MA within the next year for a variety of reasons. One of which is "escaping" the heavily conservative southern states which we have lived in for the past decade. And the heat. And the lack of (what I consider to be) immediately accessible natural beauty... and the schools... And the heat... I could go on. You just have to realize that you can either dwell on the negative or search for the positive. I can understand your opinion also, because Atlanta is not exactly a dream destination. I know I would hate it there, too. I think you will find more of what you're missing in Boston. I can't give advice on locations, but I do know that Boston will have more of a "European" feel to it. My Husband recently returned from there and compared aspects of the landscape to Graz. Good luck, and remember, happiness is where you make it. Dont let negatives or cliques put you off. Yes, there is a lot to be said for Southern Hospitality, but folks down here (in my opinion) are worse... They will be sugar sweet to your face, and talk nasty behind your back, and you might never even know! I'd rather deal with a clique, at least then you know where you stand.

[syracusa]

Originally Posted by robma44541

Dear Syracusa,
After reading the posts of the professorsenator, you can now see why your fears were real about Boston and New England in general. I lived there for 26 long years after spending as much time in my home country, England, and I can tell you as soon as my children were grown I got out as fast as I could!
All the rumors are true, they can be very rude, self-centred, arrogant people and the cliques are real, your either one of them or your not!
And your political stance will have to be Liberal Democrat, because they rule the house and senate, it is truly a one party state.
You will always be an outsider and don't forget about the weather, its no Georgia!
Good Luck to you in your future move.
LeftMAforNC.

I am really sorry to hear you had to spend that long in a place you did not like. Are you back to England now? If I could, I would return ANYWHERE in Europe for the simple fact that I would be closer to my parents who are not getting any younger, and closer to what I grew up with, overall.
But I don't have that option and I don't see it coming any time soon.

Re: political stance, I happen to lean seriously to the left (economically speaking) and somewhat to the right, socially (kind of old-school on matters of family, parenting, education, community; let's say no Montessori schools for us ).
The "commies" in Eastern Europe were sort of like this, so no wonder...

That doesn't mean that the Liberal Democratic cliques you're talking about would necessarily see someone like myself as "one of theirs", automatically. Cliques are cliques and they have their place under the sun. My own parents in Eastern Europe have lived in one for over 4 decades now and they are surely consumed by it.
It's not a "shabby" life when you're part of one. They make for "ties that bind". So I don't resent them but neither do I need to be part of an existing one.

I'll build my own from scratch .

Hotlanta, its unbearable humidity and the resulting horse-size cockroaches, I will not miss. I grew up with merciless winters and hair-dryers placed under the cover so we can escape the vengeance of a completely unheated room, when "the uppers" were trying to build glorious socialism by saving energy. We survived.
And I miss a White Christmas like crazy.

[robma44541]

Hi Syracusa, I stayed there till my children finished and graduated school.
My childrens education and happiness superceded mine! As my dear mother always told me, "you made your bed now lie in it" a rather strange saying but it has merit. I live in NC, its been a hot and humid summer here, but we suffered humid summers in MA too, without air conditioning!
A lot of houses do not have central air in New England!
I would love to go back to England as my mother and sister still live there, but it wouldn't be the same, and besides my family is here now.
The city of Boston is a true melting pot of nationalities, but the huge student population and down town businesses made living there and raising a family not a good choice for us. So we went to the suburbs, and commuted into Boston, for any culture or entertainment.
As I live and breath my body is here in the USA but my heart will always be in England!
Good Luck!
Those White Christmases can be hit or miss too!

Originally Posted by syracusa

I am really sorry to hear you had to spend that long in a place you did not like. Are you back to England now? If I could, I would return ANYWHERE in Europe for the simple fact that I would be closer to my parents who are not getting any younger, and closer to what I grew up with, overall.
But I don't have that option and I don't see it coming any time soon.

Re: political stance, I happen to lean seriously to the left (economically speaking) and somewhat to the right, socially (kind of old-school on matters of family, parenting, education, community; let's say no Montessori schools for us ).
The "commies" in Eastern Europe were sort of like this, so no wonder...

That doesn't mean that the Liberal Democratic cliques you're talking about would necessarily see someone like myself as "one of theirs", automatically. Cliques are cliques and they have their place under the sun. My own parents in Eastern Europe have lived in one for over 4 decades now and they are surely consumed by it.
It's not a "shabby" life when you're part of one. They make for "ties that bind". So I don't resent them but neither do I need to be part of an existing one.

I'll build my own from scratch .

Hotlanta, its unbearable humidity and the resulting horse-size cockroaches, I will not miss. I grew up with merciless winters and hair-dryers placed under the cover so we can escape the vengeance of a completely unheated room, when "the uppers" were trying to build glorious socialism by saving energy. We survived.
And I miss a White Christmas like crazy.

[holden125]

Originally Posted by syracusa

That doesn't mean that the Liberal Democratic cliques you're talking about would necessarily see someone like myself as "one of theirs", automatically.

I don't think the state is quite so politically monolithic, as some of the posts on here confirm, but in any event: to the extent there are cliques in Massachusetts, I don't think it has much of anything to do with politics. Rather, the place is fiercely local and, while that does a lot to maintain a unique regional identity, there are people who don't really befriend anyone they haven't known since they were 4.

There are, of course, plenty of people who move to Massachusetts every year and manage to make a life for themselves. Over some time they find their friends, settle in, and (if they're smart) don't worry one bit about the cookout going on down the block that only townie lifers are at.

The place is a conundrum. It's very cosmopolitan, but it's very parochial too.

[femmefatalezz]

I've lived in Boston my whole life so I don't really have anything else to compare it to besides a few other countries that I've traveled to. I think Boston is a fun city but it's too cold and very expensive to live here. Also traffic sucks, but better than NYC or LA

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Originally Posted by robma44541

Dear Syracusa,
After reading the posts of the professorsenator, you can now see why your fears were real about Boston and New England in general. I lived there for 26 long years after spending as much time in my home country, England, and I can tell you as soon as my children were grown I got out as fast as I could!
All the rumors are true, they can be very rude, self-centred, arrogant people and the cliques are real, your either one of them or your not!
And your political stance will have to be Liberal Democrat, because they rule the house and senate, it is truly a one party state.
You will always be an outsider and don't forget about the weather, its no Georgia!
Good Luck to you in your future move.
LeftMAforNC.

Have you considered that the difference in experience might be based on the person rather then the state?

My family from Texas didn't suffer anything like what you describe.

[professorsenator]

Originally Posted by holden125

I don't think the state is quite so politically monolithic, as some of the posts on here confirm.

No, Mass. is not politically monolithic but some trends are definitely present. It is a state that definitely leans to the American political left, but not as much as some suggest. "Lunchbucket liberals" in the state tend to be blue-collar, downscale, economically liberal and socially conservative -- they're found in large numbers in the old mill towns and working class 'burbs around Boston. They tend to be fiercely local and parochial. "Latte Liberals" are higher education/income folks who populate many of the leafy, pricey 'burbs around Boston. They tend to be socially liberal/libertarian, but not quite as economically liberal as some lunchbucket types. Republicans, who are about 1/4 of the population, are mostly high income folks who are either real blue bloods (extremely rare...very few in number) or upscale professionals who are blue-blood pretenders/wannabes (much, much more common).

Syracusa says she's socially traditional, economically leftist, yet also cosmopolitan. That will be a very tough fit in Mass. -- finding a community with two out of those three traits will be a snap. A trifecta is a whole different matter.

[aggiekwasnik]

O.K. Not all of MA or even CT will make you feel like an outsider. I promise you. I'm not sure how far out of Boston you wish to live, but there are many small towns that are accessable to Boston with a short commute. Also MA has many colleges you could aply too. You seem to have a nice personality, great work ethics and a long period of time at that job.. All in your favor. I live in a small town of Monson that sits near the CT line. We are approx. 1 hour 30 minutes from Boston and many people in ur area travel out to worcester and Boston to work. We have a good school system, nice people, lots of small museums, lots of town activities, great area for children to play, lots of activities for them such as sports, dance schools and academies, and such. Our town is small with No traffic lights, a few small shops, BUT we can access many malls within 1/2 an hour. Their are many benefits to living rurally. Give MA a chance. I know you will always be home sick, but with the right friends and your own family you will be happy. Good Luck!!!!

[CaseyB]

I believe she stated at in her first post that the job offer was in Reading.