Reading, MA vs. Bow, NH (Boston: house, find a job, neighborhood)

[Sammy0324]

Hi. I'm hoping to get feedback from those familiar with Bow, NH and Reading, MA. I've already done quite a bit of searches in this forum, which has been helpful, but I'm looking for more opinions. I also plan on posting this to the New Hampshire forum.

Here's the background. Both my husband and I grew up in Massachusetts, but moved to Southern NH in our mid-20's (for family reasons). For the past 2 years, we have lived in Bow, NH, which we picked primarily because of the strong school system and recreation programs for our 4 kids (ages 3,4,5,6). Up until the past year, I continued to work in Mass, but the commute was a killer and I finally decided to find a job close to home. However, the job pays half as much as my previous job (even after factoring in no income tax, commuting costs, etc.) and is not nearly as fulfilling or stable. Jobs in my field are also not very plentiful in NH.

So, the dilemma is do we stay where we are and somehow figure out how to make it work financially, or do we move back to Mass where I'll have a much better chance to get a more rewarding job? Prior to our move to NH, we lived in Reading, MA, and we loved it there. It was great being able to walk to downtown, the library, the commuter rail, etc. Quick access to Boston, more of a neighborhood feel. But, it's been awhile since we've lived there, and our familiarity with the town now is limited to occasional visits to the area. We hear the school system is strong, but is it as strong as Bow?

More than anything, I want to do what's best for the kids, and if we do end up moving (after finding a new job, of course), we want to do it before next Fall when the oldest will be in 1st grade. Bow is a nice, quiet town where I feel the kids are safe, but are they too sheltered here?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

[holden125]

I don't know enough about Bow's schools (or, frankly, Reading's, though my cousins attended them) to offer any opinions on that, but it seems that homes in Reading big enough for your family might be considerably more expensive than where you're living now. So even if your income went up you might not be far advanced financially. There's also a question, since you've given up the job in Mass., whether you'd be readily able to obtain a new one given the state of the economy.

Although you say you want to do what's best for the kids, your post also indicates that you're feeling dissatisfied with your new job, financially and otherwise. A key question is to what extent that frustration itself will have a negative impact on the kids over time--they may well end up happier if you're happy. If the big thing is concern that they'll be too sheltered, there are ways around that short of relocating. You could take them to the city on the weekend or expose them to other experiences. It's harder in a sleepy place, but relocating back to the Boston area would be challenging too.

Sorry if this is short on specifics and long on rumination...

[Sammy0324]

Thank you so much for your response. You've definitely hit on the issue that both options have their pros and cons. We understand that if we move to Reading that the house we buy would be smaller than what we currently have, with much less land/privacy. While I strongly believe that I would be happier moving (from a financial and job satisfaction standpoint) and it would certainly open up more career opportunities for me, I don't know if it's the best decision for my family. We would gain in certain areas, and lose in others. I have researched everything I can possibly think of and have also put together a lengthy pros and cons list. The number of pros on the list that point to moving is much longer than the cons; however, some of the cons have much higher levels of importance. I worry that if we do move that I'll end up regretting it.

If I decide to seek a job in Mass., I expect that it will take awhile to get one, and then selling our house could also take a long time, which is why I feel a sense of urgency to make a decision one way or the other.

Anyone else have any advice?