Ppl from Massachusetts are incredibly rude (Boston: law, friendly, health)

[Rhaven]

I just recently moved from mass to NC and quite a few people have asked me why we New Englanders dont strike up conversations in line at stores. It very naturally occurs here in the south. My response is simple:

While here it's the norm to tell your family history to anyone you met 30 seconds ago and they enjoy it, in Mass, people would think you are socially inept if you have to get your conversation fix with a stranger. It's not that we're unfriendly, but if we dont know you from a hole in the wall, why would you think we want to hear about Aunt Mildreds haliotosis???

Our socializing is not done in small talk. When a New Englander makes a friend, it is a friend for life. And we have the richness of enjoying unending conversations with those whose friendships were cultivated lovingly. But don't think we're ruse when you start up a conversation at the checkout line in CVS. Especially if its winter! All we want to do is go home and curl up before we freeze

[googess]

Baystater, I just had to tell you how much I appreciate your post. I am from the south and have lived in MA for seven years. My father and all of his family were from the north, as well as my best friend. There were many times that I became very upset with them. I thought they could be extremely rude and cold. After moving "up north" I finally started to understand them. Yes, I do think there is a VAST difference between southerners and northerners and I think it takes time on both sides to understand the other.
I moved up here because both of my children had ended up in the north. It took me five years before I could say I had any friends. It only happened when I decided that I had to make an all out effort to do so. (No one was going to come knocking on my door with a plate of cookies and sit for an hour having meaningless conversation.) I joined a club for women that was designed for fun. I had been told that it takes a long time to form a friendship in the north, but once you do - it's for life. I've found that to be true.
Yes, I was saddened on a recent visit home when my grandchildren commented on a man at a gas station (did not work there) cheerfully offering directions to us when he saw our maps out and our puzzled looks. They wanted to know how we knew that man who was so cheerful and outgoing. They couldn't imagine a complete stranger doing that. On the other hand, my son's friend (from the north) thought several southerners were about to rob him when they approached him so openly with greetings.
I think most people are just way more comfortable with the types of people they grew up with, but that doesn't mean we can't find friends in other locations. Down deep I like to think we're all pretty much alike.

[smarty]

Originally Posted by googess

Yes, I was saddened on a recent visit home when my grandchildren commented on a man at a gas station (did not work there) cheerfully offering directions to us when he saw our maps out and our puzzled looks. They wanted to know how we knew that man who was so cheerful and outgoing. They couldn't imagine a complete stranger doing that. On the other hand, my son's friend (from the north) thought several southerners were about to rob him when they approached him so openly with greetings.
I think most people are just way more comfortable with the types of people they grew up with, but that doesn't mean we can't find friends in other locations. Down deep I like to think we're all pretty much alike.

Yes. Experience define how we react. Like my previous post says... my experience is those who approach me always want something from me. Even my kids... they only approach me when they want money. I better put up a fence.

Btw... I've been thinking about the word rude. Can someone define it? If someone define it as manners. Who created those rules of engagement? Hugs could mean different things in different cultures.

[remember-voltaire]

the internet is a great tool isn't it


you only have to type the word to get the meaning but there you go

discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way: a rude reply.
2. without culture, learning, or refinement: rude, illiterate peasants.
3. rough in manners or behavior; unmannerly; uncouth.
4. rough, harsh, or ungentle: rude hands.
5. roughly wrought, built, or formed; of a crude construction or kind: a rude cottage.
6. not properly or fully developed; raw; unevolved: a rude first stage of development.
7. harsh to the ear: rude sounds.
8. without artistic elegance; of a primitive simplicity: a rude design.
9. violent or tempestuous, as the waves.
10. robust, sturdy, or vigorous: rude strength.
11. approximate or tentative: a rude first calculation of costs.



smarty
you sound very offish so to speak if someone comes to you they want something
who created these rules also depends what context you use the word rude, I think googess in her/his context is very easy to see.
My kids come to me but they don't always want something except maybe a cuddle as they know I don't always say yes

maybe we're different very much and googes isn't right we're not all the same

I like to say thank you, open the door, stand up for a pregnant woman on a train or an old person on a bus, I teach my kids that too say please thank you, be nice to others, be friendly and not arrogant or ignorant
if I hold the door open for someone and they don't thanks then I let them know just how rude they are

as for who decides what rules then depends on the country you go to, In america or anywhere it's not hard unless you are ignorant, rude to say please and thank you, how you doing today well I hope, merry christmas , have a good day, is there anything I can help you with if they look to be struggling or they look like they need help
If I go to japan then I bow, If I am in parts of europe then the greeting is different, In america you shake hands

[Snallygaster]

Originally Posted by fashionablecowboy

I haven't been to many states where I have experienced such a rude vibe. Massachusetts, however, certainly feels like one of them. I could never grasp how horrible and self-centered the drivers were even when there was NO traffic! I found many people to be cold and unpersonable. Although, some people were helpful.. sure, some were very genuine, but NO ONE WOULD EVER start a conversation about their personal life, unless you were a long-time friend, relative, or direct family member.

I am not alone in my complaint against Mass. Ask most people from Carolinas, Texas, or other "friendlier" and warmer environments. What do you think causes this massive perception about people from Massachusetts? Is it the cold winters?.. For you Mass residents: How many times a day does a random person greet you with a large smile and ask you how your day was?

MA is a very safe and educated area so why are people so mean!?

Several resons.
First off, there are simple cultural differences-People from the south and the northeast simply have different approaches to communication. New Yorkers may be very direct and blunt-which some interpret as rude-I see it as honesty. In MA- I'll agree, we have a problem with 'New England coldness'-but don't dismiss every MA citizen of being rude- If you do, I assume then you copped and attitude with them,and whatever they put back in your face was well deserved....
Regarding drivers-Bear in mind most of the streets in Bostron are one way, and its not an easy city to navigate by car-so lost tourists will compete to get to the same exits....Rudest drivers I think are in CA- Los Angeles and San Francisco have the rudest drivers Ive ever seen.....

I'm proud of MA's liberal hertitage-What I resent are the radical right wingers in the south who constantly belittle MA and NY because of it-Remember, were it not for liberal MA rabble rousing, we'd still be under British control..I'm not religious, and other parts of the country scare the hell out of me the way people there are expected to blindly worship Jesus...I'll pass, thanks..
Here in MA, if you're a Christian, Jew, Musluim, Wiccan, Hindu or athiest, nobody cares. To each their own, and who cares what the neighbor is doing behind closed doors.

I lived in Minnesota and was amazed how friendly Minnesotans are- I haven't seen that kind of open friendliness here in MA- I think MA citizens are a bit more aloof and not as quick to hand out friendship...Of course in Minnesota they have the term 'Minnesota nice' l whixch i think means they have the tendency to be nice to someone to their face , but tear them down behind thier backs-So there are mean people everywhere.....When I moved to Minnesota, several co workers invited me to their homes to dinner. Few MA people would ever do that-until you really knew the person.
MA does have the best universities and hostpitals on earth- a rich history, and gorgous topography- But i've lived here nearlly 40 years...I need a break- I think I'll head back to Minnesota..

[remember-voltaire]

slight correction for you on the history front

the people who wanted independance were more conservative and religious remember taxes, church and prayer were important to them too.

they begrudged paying taxes and not having a say, er bit like now in mass really yet maybe we should have another shays rebellion. I do take it you know what that rebellion is without looking it up



[i]I'm not religious, and other parts of the country scare the hell out of me the way people there are expected to blindly worship Jesus...I'll pass, thanks..
Here in MA, if you're a Christian, Jew, Musluim, Wiccan, Hindu or athiest, nobody cares. To each their own, and who cares .[/]I

do you see why I highlighted that, don't care , then scares the hell out of you I take it you just don't mean jesus but also allah right?

having travelled around the world and around this country here it was I found

people around the country feel that liberals and govt have gone just to far from what this country really stands for
as for no one minding what you do behind closed doors then I'll leave it at that but I do know the vast majority of peple there feel the same as me. regardless of what the local media say
It' seems that even the locals feel the same as mass is the only state to have lost it's native population for the last 4 years and 60, 000 people alone just in boston moved out just last year, now they are trying to pay people to stay in the stae of course at tax payers expense again


one ways has nothing to do with how people drive I drove as a trucker around boston for years delivering beer and wine to all the bars and restaurants so I know about driving around the state , you will find plenty of one ways in other cities too, if it were the case then why give the finger or tailgate on 128????

I do like your last line, you need a break so you will head back to minnesota you and many others too

[LeavingMA]

Don't forget MA was the area that kicked out Roger Williams because he disagreed with religious beliefs.

[remember-voltaire]

masschusetts liberal heritage
one ways makes bad drivers
no one cares what you do behind closed doors you'd be surprised but the votes were never put to the test
friend for life, yea no one has ever fell out with a friend in massachusetts
no one cares on religion, really, mmm no one is ever called a bible basher because they are christian or the religion is ever made fun of

you are aware that massachusetts wasn't always liberal and that it was a conservative state , like vermont once was the most conservative state in the country

none of this excuses or justifing or even distortion of history

in the end massachusetts along with boston has some nice people as does everywhere, it has rude people has does everywhere, you have to decide which it has more
smoe agree on certain things other may disagree not everyone is liberal and not everyone loves the kennedys
there are good things to massachusetts and bad things for me more bad things mainly how the politics has gone but each to their own but to say blindly what has tried to be justified is astonishing to me


still never let the facts get in the way of a good story

peace out and as for good people well leaving ma is a good example of that

[Snallygaster]

"do you see why I highlighted that, don't care , then scares the hell out of you I take it you just don't mean jesus but also allah right?"


I'm an athiest-I see all religion as man made fantasy-I frankly don't see any difference between those religions-Both have a history of violence towards non believers, both are intollerant of independent thought. But if a person can practice either faith in a peaceful manner, without threatening others or forcefully converting others, then all the power to them-otherwise their followers belong in a nuthouse...
I don't want to get into an argument of liberalism vs conservatism for several reasons-Those are labels whose meanings change every generation, and are subjective-From a European standpoint, there are few liberals in America-America is a very, very conservative nation.
Of course with New England being stettled by religious seperatists, civil liberties were few at first, and if you didn't conform to a certian interpretation of Christianity, you were cast out..
But today, for the most part, MA is a state, like New York, that stands for civil rights, union rights, womens rights, and all the other rights that are needed for freedom to flourish.
Granted MA has a history of rascism we are trying to overcome- such as the bussing crisis of 74' when the blatent rascism of S. Boston was exposed-but we are striving to improve ourselves...MA has come a LONG way in the past 50 years....

[Alexus]

Interesting comments here about Mass. Someday I hope to visit the state. I think what is incredibly rude is meeting a stranger who initiates some meaningless conversation as a means to talk about themselves. This is common here in the San Francisco bay area. I don't appreciate being interrupted by some shallow, self-absorbed lark who thinks that I have nothing better to so than listen to them go on and on about themselves and their lives.