aliasfinn

Archaeologists have found the world's oldest limerick written on the wall of a cave in Ireland. It is in an ancient Gaelic language and estimated to be over a thousand years old. They managed to translate it and it goes something like this:

There once was a man in a cave
who smelled bad and needed a shave
He wrote on the walls
and painted his balls
He just never learned to behave.


They do not know who wrote it because he did not leave a signature....

Here lies Ann Mann
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann



Here lies the body of Mary Ann Bent
She kicked up her heals and away she went



Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies
No one laughs, no one cries
Where his soul's gone, or how it fares
No one knows, and no one cares



Remember man, as you walk by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be
Remember...

How long do dead animals stay on the road where you live ?
It seems like it depends on what type of animal it is where I live. Dogs are picked up within 24 hours, cats maybe a couple of days, and possums just stay on the road and keep getting run over until they're so thin that the wind blows them away. I once saw an old woman get out of her car and drag a dead raccoon off to the side of the road, she then made the sign of the cross and drove away. I used to think it was the street department's...

Strange thing happened while camping one night,
My arm had suffered a recluse bite.

The bite had turned purple and started to swell,
So I captured the spider and sent him to hell.

Then a mosquito showed up, to do me more harm,
He picked the same spot, right on the arm.

The fool sucked out the venom, and died on the spot,
This was a true story, believe it or not.

I once had a cat that looked like an owl
he'd rotate his head and make the dog howl

His "meow" sounded funny, more like a "who"
he reminded me of an owl at the zoo

He'd be perched on high places with a look in his eye
like you'd see in an owl when it was ready to fly

I sometimes wondered if he was really a cat
until he flew off the bookcase but fell with a splat.