Moving out of state with minor child (Memphis: spring break, crime rate)

[meet me in memphis]

Please help. I need advice. I have two kids with two fathers that live in two different states. I am in mo now and cannot find work and unable to provide for my kids. I have a great job opprotunitiy in minnesota where my daughters father lives and the schools are great, crime rate is low, a lot of activities for them. The problem is my sons father would disagree not because of his son but because it would be something to spite me. I am willing to meet half way, let him have him for holidays, some of summer, spring break, and atleast once a month. Should I discuss this with my nine year old son is he old enough to put such pressure on him. Should I be the one to do all of the above until I got on my feet. There is no pending divorce or seperation, we haven't lived with each other in three years and date other people. What legal issues could I get in trouble for. I am begging any one out there who can help with some advice I would be forever greatful.
Thank you

[3southerners]

Your nine year old son is way too young for any decision making of this magnitude. With two young children to provide for and protect I would try to choose another place besides the Memphis area. While there are good,safe areas around Memphis the school system is not good at all. You mentioned that there is no divorce or separation, does this mean these options just aren't being pursued or that these are not needed because you are not married? Either way, I would try to get legal custody/visitation matters if possible. This just makes it easier, and possibly would be in your favor to get a job where you have an offer. I realize without any current income legal help is difficult. There may be some local government assistance on this issue if you check around. Good luck, it sounds like the job opportunity "up north" is a good one.

[PlatReader]

I'm not sure if I understand your predicament clearly...are you saying you're NOT currently married ??

Have you EVER been married to either father ?? if so, the terms of the divorce decree sets forth provisions of custody, thereby visitation, possible relocation, and any notifications that may have to be made to the court, depending on that state's law.

Were you married in two different states ?? You are not very clear or perhaps I don't understand.

Getting legal advice is necessary, and not following advice on a web forum about these sort of things. That can be hazardous to say the least !

Having said that, allow me to offer some feedback. If you have never been married to either father, you have little or no legal responsibility to advise anyone of your movements and choices, notwithstanding paternity determinations already part of a court jurisdictional record.

In other words, if you've never been married, then officially 'divorced' through a court order, you can move to where you want-

That might however be an impetus for an action filed at law by either father, who might file for custody, or custodial rights under a particular state's law- however foreign 'judgments' can be meaningless if you have already established domicile by affadavit in another state, so any action filed against you MUST be in the state of your new residence.

This can get complicated, but less so if you have never been a party to any family court decision.

If you've been 'single' in the eyes of a state's law, and never being subject to a family court order, you can be free to travel and relocate as you see fit.

The fathers' rights however may not be relinquished or responsibilities abdicated...but again, pursuit of these rights must come from their own filing the appropriate actions at law in the governing jurisdiction.

I would seek forgiveness before I sought 'permission', 'permission' may needlessly telegraph your intent to move and accept a good job.

And NO, I would not tell a 9 year old a darn thing.

If your status is MARRIED (no matter if you haven't lived together), you simply can't pick up and move without consequence, unless you can show that the marriage was alrready 'broken'...if THAT is the case, you can STILL MOVE with your children anywhere else, set up a domicile in THAT state immediately, then immediately FILE FOR DIVORCE under terms of 'abandonment', or irreconcilable differences...the former being a bit more fitting to the facts already established about not living with the husband and dating other people.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the woman and mother is still in the driver's seat about these sort of issues- and the courts ALWAYS look for what is best for the children under most all circumtances.

If you are already taking care of the two children, you have that on your side for sure.

If you are acting in good faith as to what is good for the welfare of the children first (in this case moving for a good job, and you can prove that), the FATHERS in this matter have hardly a leg to stand on, but again, they DO have rights under law, but you should not tell THEM how to preserve THEIR rights, you should be looking out for yourself and the welfare of the minor children first. If you continue to do that, you will not have substantive legal complications.

You can't please two different fathers. As long as you are fair and reasonable and acting in good faith, and not violating any current lawful court orders, you can move to where you wish to live in order to provide for yourself and your children.

Be prudent.

[strumpeace]

It would be wise to neither seek nor take any legal advice offered on this or any other internet forum.

What does this have to do with Memphis, anyway?

[PlatReader]

Originally Posted by strumpeace

It would be wise to neither seek nor take any legal advice offered on this or any other internet forum.

What does this have to do with Memphis, anyway?

Her topic was "meet me in Memphis", so although not mentioned specifically, perhaps it sounds like one of the fathers lives in Memphis..maybe

Other than that, it obviously doens't have anything to do with Memphis looks to me...

oh well, doesn't matter much !

[genebesok]

me and my wife were divorced .soon after she quit letting me see my children.she told me to get a lawer if i wanted to see them.she knows i am diabled and can not afford that.soon after her phone was no longer in sevice.so now i have not seen my boy's in five years now.so out of the blue i get adoption papers in the mail.these were from michigan we lived in tennessee.she never even notified me she was moving out of state is there anything i can do