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I think, from personal experience, that one of the best things to do for yourself is to NOT try to hide this condition from others.
Once, I faced it myself, I found it emboldening to let others know, too. I didn't announce it to people, but if a situation came up that the opportunity presented itself, I would say, "I have an anxiety disorder that makes it very difficult for me to function in public situations without panic setting in."
This even becomes a way of taking power of the situation. Many times I had been asked about it after such a statement of my condition. I have been amazed over the years how many others suffer from some degree or another of panic/social anxiety disorder.
Once you open the door to your own problem, others feel free to be open also. They see your brave "coming-out" as an endearing quality. If you have family members who continue to be critical of you and your condition and how it is "ruining their lives", please send them a letter and pour out what it is doing to your life. Let them read some of the information pamphlets that you can get from any physician's office, mental health clinics, or private psychologists. They will be happy to supply you with information even if you are not their patient.
Tao, I am so happy that you had mentioned the guided imagery CD. I learned self-hypnosis for the birth of my second child and I cannot tell you what a superb help it was to me to learn relaxation techniques. One can't always lie down in the middle of Target to do some quick relaxation to calm the insides down. But, you can always do it in place and mentally start with your toes and work up your body relaxing each muscle, each joint, each organ, until you have reached the top of your head. Envision yourself calm and happy and at peace.
This can be done while pretending to look at merchandise, a quick trip to the ladies room, a rest on a bench or chair in the store. It can save many situations just by daily practicing whole body relaxation and visualization. You don't need to have a professional teach you a skill as deep as self-hypnosis. It is just an extremely effective way of whole body relaxation.
Even the nausea, diarrhea, headaches, palpitations, hyperventilating, you know the drill - all can be controlled just by well-practiced and ingrained relaxation techniques. If anyone wants further information on how to achieve this, feel free to DM me.
My one wish for any and all who silently suffer from anxiety disorder is to recognize that there are millions of your brothers and sisters who are suffering too. There is a way of escaping it's clutches and you can get well. Medication is often the first line of defense to give you a sense of security and control. Then, you are equipped to move on to other methods of taking control of your own life and gradually move away from the meds.
You are your own strongest ally and supporter. Do become your own best advocate. Insist that family members accomodate your disorder. Insist that you are going to help yourself. Insist that your physician listen to every word you have to say. Expect the best from yourself because it is there - it is just temporarily frozen in your disorder.
My issues with being out in public aren't always there, its only in places that are crowded and noisy. When I go to a smaller quieter grocery store like Publix I am fine.
I used to do alot of embroidery but I haven't been doing much now. It would be a good thing to keep my mind off things.
This thing - anxiety sometimes makes me feel like a peice of paper blowing back and forth in the wind, I can't stand up for the wind knocking me down. The only way I know to catch myself is to shut off the things that blow me out of the water.
Then of course I have days where I feel OK. Yesterday was a bad day, I hardly slept last night but today was better. I did speak with someone last night and and confided in them some of the things I have been feeling. It made me feel a little better. I think I am worried that people will think I am HUGE freak.
Another strange part of my anxiety disorder is if I go somewhere with friends I feel like we must go in MY vehicle and I must drive. If I go somewhere with someone in their vehicle I feel like I have no control, kinda like I'm trapped or something. I guess if I'm driving I can come back home in a hurry if I need to, but if I'm with someone else I may not be able to.
Another strange part of my anxiety disorder is if I go somewhere with friends I feel like we must go in MY vehicle and I must drive. If I go somewhere with someone in their vehicle I feel like I have no control, kinda like I'm trapped or something. I guess if I'm driving I can come back home in a hurry if I need to, but if I'm with someone else I may not be able to.
I dont think thats strange at all, I can totally understand that. It's kind of like, I dont drink because the thought of being drunk and out of control makes me anxious. People get pissy thinking Im a party pooper, but I am not, I just know what sets me off.
I think we all find comfort in controlling the things we CAN control, like driving your own car,because often we have no control over the feelings that wash over us. Its nice to be in charge of things.
I too have been battling panic attacks for about 3 years so I can relate to what so many of you are going through.
I haven't read through this whole thread but will over the next few days,I think I read to about post 100but thought I would post a site that seems to help a bit Panic Attacks Anxieties Summary Panic problems Suzet I do think alot of you're anxieties may be multiplied because of your famlies lack of support.I would definately look to an outside source for help because the famlies not helping you here.
Another strange part of my anxiety disorder is if I go somewhere with friends I feel like we must go in MY vehicle and I must drive. If I go somewhere with someone in their vehicle I feel like I have no control, kinda like I'm trapped or something. I guess if I'm driving I can come back home in a hurry if I need to, but if I'm with someone else I may not be able to.
This is a very common anxiety with people who have social anxiety disorder. I, too, even though I do not have panic attacks any longer (after suffering with them for almost 30 yrs!), I do want the control of driving my own car, don't want to take any suggestions about short-cuts, stops along the way unless they have been preplanned.
People who have anxiety attacks do so because they feel they are in a situation that they have no control over. We are usually the ones who want everything scheduled down to the last detail, we don't want the timing of something to change, we want today to be just like yesterday, don't like to drive if the weather is bad, don't like loud, confusing noisy places, etc. All of these things take the control of our environment and what we are doing out of our hands and gives the control to someone else.
I think it signifies a lack of trust in others, maybe. We know that we can trust ourselves to do what is best for us, but can we trust someone else? Did we experience an event early on in life that upset that balance of trust? This is something I have to think about. I know that I had a very troubling event in my life that destroyed my trust in someone very close to me. I still feel that way about that person today 50+ years later! Hmmmm.
Mystree, do take the time to read through the posts. And, let us know what your thoughts and experiences are. We can help one another by realizing that we are not strange or freakish (Lindsay), which is another common feeling among those who have this disorder. And, realize too, that in this country alone, there are thousands and thousands of others who also have the very same anxiety attacks and fears that we do!! You are not alone; you are not different or wierd; you just have a disease that can be treated.
Another strange part of my anxiety disorder is if I go somewhere with friends I feel like we must go in MY vehicle and I must drive. If I go somewhere with someone in their vehicle I feel like I have no control, kinda like I'm trapped or something. I guess if I'm driving I can come back home in a hurry if I need to, but if I'm with someone else I may not be able to.
Oh man, here is another thing that I didn't connect to the anxiety. I keep finding things like this. I am the exact same way. I have often told people, I will just meet you there rather then ride in someone else's car.
I also plan things out very much in detail. I print a map of the route if I am not familiar, I take things along like water and if its a long drive, I pack food in an ice chest rather then relying on find a place to stop along the way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemkeeper
This is a very common anxiety with people who have social anxiety disorder. I, too, even though I do not have panic attacks any longer (after suffering with them for almost 30 yrs!), I do want the control of driving my own car, don't want to take any suggestions about short-cuts, stops along the way unless they have been preplanned.
People who have anxiety attacks do so because they feel they are in a situation that they have no control over. We are usually the ones who want everything scheduled down to the last detail, we don't want the timing of something to change, we want today to be just like yesterday, don't like to drive if the weather is bad, don't like loud, confusing noisy places, etc. All of these things take the control of our environment and what we are doing out of our hands and gives the control to someone else.
I think it signifies a lack of trust in others, maybe. We know that we can trust ourselves to do what is best for us, but can we trust someone else? Did we experience an event early on in life that upset that balance of trust? This is something I have to think about. I know that I had a very troubling event in my life that destroyed my trust in someone very close to me. I still feel that way about that person today 50+ years later! Hmmmm.
Mystree, do take the time to read through the posts. And, let us know what your thoughts and experiences are. We can help one another by realizing that we are not strange or freakish (Lindsay), which is another common feeling among those who have this disorder. And, realize too, that in this country alone, there are thousands and thousands of others who also have the very same anxiety attacks and fears that we do!! You are not alone; you are not different or wierd; you just have a disease that can be treated.
Take heart, all, and sleep well tonight.
WOW, you get it. I feel the same way. I grew up in a very turbelent household, I was often swept aside and forgotten until they needed a scapegoat of course. They have always been very controlling and manipulative and still attempt that with me.
Up until the time I moved away in 2001, I felt like I was at their mercy. My brother would show up screaming or my Mother would show up and say "Now we have to sit down and have a talk", those words struck terror into my heart. That meant she was about to start in on me and my Mother, in her day was enough to make you want to poke out your ear drums so you couldn't hear the nagging, fighting and going on. She invented "beating a dead horse". If I was chained to the chair she was sitting in, I would have knawed my own foot off to get away.
I don't think you guys understand how much help this thread has been to me. I am just now getting to understand all the ways having panic attacks and anxiety has effected my life. The ways that it manifests itself and the things I have done to work around it. For example, before I had my daughter, I always went grocery shopping in the middle of the night. I couldn't stand it otherwise.
Family get togethers were always torture for me, it was like being in a minefield, not knowing where to step, the question was WHEN would the explosion be, not if there was going to be one. I always tried to stay on the edge of the gathering so I could escape from the fray.
I am so thankful for the quiet I have now. I can just sit in silence and enjoy it. I don't think other people understand that. I don't get bored, I don't feel the need to be doing something all the time. I feel like I have been overloaded with BS and I a worn out. When I sit here, hearing nothing, its like a balm to my soul. Silence is truly golden.
You guys are awesome and so helpful to me.
I also believe the trust was broken between me and someone when I was a child. I feel like I must have lived in fear for a long time. As a small child, I always ran to my grandmother, even getting away from my family and going to find her before I was even old enough to be in kindergarten, I walked across town one time to find her. To me that says something about how my family was. I always preferred my grandmother over anyone else. That was a HUGE sticking point with them as well, they were all very jealous of that.
My Dr just called -- you can email them and ask questions -- anyway, she said thyroid issues can cause anxiety, it can also make exsisting anxiety a lot worse, and anxiety can cause the breathing issues I have had. (no duh!) She also wants me to try some Prilosec OTC for relfux and see if that helps as reflux can cause breathing issues too, and my tummy has been bothering me for a few weeks now.
So, it might behoove anixety sufferers having their thyroid checked to see if their is a medical reason for the anxiety they are feeling. Its worth a shot. Anything is worth a shot if it could possibly help.
I wanted to pass this info along incase its useful to someone.
Allow me first to say it was never my intention to increase or create stress for anyone. I expressed my views using very short sentences of unsubstantiated claims in a matter-of-fact tone which in hindsight, could be construed negatively. After studying psychology for 20 years, I have become very cynical and quite disgruntled.
However, I did offer valuable advice. I just didn't present it effectively to the target audience. I meant no disrespect. I have personally experienced panic attacks, but I didn't think that was relevant. I referred to the "awareness of sensitivity" and was criticized. Shortly thereafter, someone referred to the connection between anxiety and "people pleasers", which illustrated a major aspect of the idea I was trying to relay. Identify the issue and control the response. I'm sorry I failed to explain this concept in more detail I was glad to see that, pages later on this thread, the concept naturally was explored, with references to "owning your feelings".
My approach was admittedly confrontational in nature, but that is the exact approach I have personally found effective in dealing with panic attacks. It may or may not work for everyone else, I'm sure that meds help, but facing your fears is a necessary yet unpleasant part of coping with anxiety.
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We know that we can trust ourselves to do what is best for us, but can we trust someone else? Did we experience an event early on in life that upset that balance of trust? This is something I have to think about. I know that I had a very troubling event in my life that destroyed my trust in someone very close to me. I still feel that way about that person today 50+ years later! Hmmmm.
Under attack
