costco run/panic attack

[MaryleeII]

OP, research

proprioception


It could be the key to his problems

[Bluesmama]

Originally Posted by callalillies

So at work, we had this huge stash of food stored in a bunch of drawers. It ran out, so someone had to go for a costco run. I was going today anyway to get halloween candy, so I volunteered. He said just buy yourself candy and it's on us if you get the food. The budget was 500 bucks.
My husband and I go to work together, his job is on my way to work. So I picked him up and then we go to Costco as it's right on the same road as his work. It takes some time to spend 500 bucks at costco. So of course it was getting dark outside. My husband doesn't get in the car to go anwhere when it's dark. (Even if I'm driving). He gets these panic attacks. So I didn't think he'd come with me to costco, I was figuring, I'd drop him at home and I'd come back. But he wanted to go. Well he basically was yelling at me at costco cuz it was getting dark out. And was mad at how long I was taking. We were only there a little over an hour.
He ended up staying in a hotel, as he can't get home from work or anywhere at night. And I went home.
It's very frustrating as I CAN'T do anything. I can't go to the store if I need to, I can't stay late for work to DO WORK! Forget about even going out for dinner with coworkers after work for an hour.

Also, the past couple month, I've been on this weird night shift due to a major project deadline coming up. So I work from 2-10 sometimes during the week. He can't get to work by himself or get home by himself. So I have to wake up at 8AM and take him. And on the way home, he can't wait for me, because he can't get home when it's dark. So he has to take a cab (40 dollars) or stay in a hotel. Once in awhile a friend can take him.
To make matters worse, it takes 45 minutes to get to his work going through the streets, when it's 25 minutes via highway (even w/ the rush).

Anyway I went on a tangent. I don't know what the heck to do.

How long have you been married? And has this worsened considerably over the course of time?

It does sound like he has something other than panic attacks (which I suffered in the past). I don't know if you can encourage him to see a doctor about this but he needs to get to the root of it. Because YOU can't go on like this. It's affecting the quality of your life on so many levels, and your stress and frustration is seeping right through your post.

I agree with the poster who wrote that it's up to him to do what he needs to do to better himself. You could encourage him to seek help, but once he's given options by his doctor it is up to him from that point on. He'll know what he needs to do to control his situation, and if he resists then you'll need to assess the future of your marriage.

Hope it works out.

[amoe]

Oh honey, please don't be angry with him. I have them a lot lately at the age of thirty-five. It is the worst feeling ever and I cannot...No matter WHAT I DO..control them. My boyfriend of five years doesn't understand. I have had them since the age of 19 and sometimes they will go away for a few years at a time. I know how you feel. When mine were gone, my brother was having them. He lived with me at the time and we couldn't go any place together. Be thankful that it's only at night. I'm ok at night. Mine are during the day. I have two children and I need to be able to take them places.
He can get on strong anti-anxiety meds. My doctors don't believe in giving them. I am currently looking for another doc.
I have to deal with the frustration of my boyfriend all of the time. He wants to get out and do things and I just can't. I just cry all of the time because of it.
Your husband probably feels terrible about it. Being mad at him will only make it worse. Just try and get him a good doctor and be patient until he finds the one that will help him.