costco run/panic attack (trigger, therapy, take, long)

[callalillies]

So at work, we had this huge stash of food stored in a bunch of drawers. It ran out, so someone had to go for a costco run. I was going today anyway to get halloween candy, so I volunteered. He said just buy yourself candy and it's on us if you get the food. The budget was 500 bucks.
My husband and I go to work together, his job is on my way to work. So I picked him up and then we go to Costco as it's right on the same road as his work. It takes some time to spend 500 bucks at costco. So of course it was getting dark outside. My husband doesn't get in the car to go anwhere when it's dark. (Even if I'm driving). He gets these panic attacks. So I didn't think he'd come with me to costco, I was figuring, I'd drop him at home and I'd come back. But he wanted to go. Well he basically was yelling at me at costco cuz it was getting dark out. And was mad at how long I was taking. We were only there a little over an hour.
He ended up staying in a hotel, as he can't get home from work or anywhere at night. And I went home.
It's very frustrating as I CAN'T do anything. I can't go to the store if I need to, I can't stay late for work to DO WORK! Forget about even going out for dinner with coworkers after work for an hour.

Also, the past couple month, I've been on this weird night shift due to a major project deadline coming up. So I work from 2-10 sometimes during the week. He can't get to work by himself or get home by himself. So I have to wake up at 8AM and take him. And on the way home, he can't wait for me, because he can't get home when it's dark. So he has to take a cab (40 dollars) or stay in a hotel. Once in awhile a friend can take him.
To make matters worse, it takes 45 minutes to get to his work going through the streets, when it's 25 minutes via highway (even w/ the rush).

Anyway I went on a tangent. I don't know what the heck to do.

[Whyte Byrd]

This seems more like a health and wellness issue. Do you think you might get a better response there? If so, I can move this.

[Yzette]

Now, see, people will jump on me for saying your husband needs therapy, but your husband needs therapy. He has crippling panic attacks, or maybe even a phobia. There is no reason either he or you should have to live with that.

[ChessieMom]

I agree. The dude needs to see a therapist. STAT.

[Kathleen1971]

Definetely needs a therapist. A grown man afraid of the dark desperately needs a professional to talk to. Good luck to you. I hope things turn out ok.

[Whyte Byrd]

It's a given he needs help but how to get that or how to get him to take that step--you may want to consult the health and wellness forum. I feel for you both. I know someone with this sort of problem. He's lost his teen years and now half of his 20s because of it. Sad because it's so curable.

[hiker16]

I went through something similar recently. Not a fear of dark, but of heights. And while I am now coping with it, through therapy, and continuing exposure to my pet phobia....none of it would've worked unless I'd gotten to the point where I was ready to change myself. That came about where one exposure to height left me a trembling, blubbering wreck for the rest of the night, BUT it was also the trigger *I* needed to realize *I* needed to fix this.

Bottom line: we can all say he should seeek therapy....but unless he realizies it for himself, and is ready to face his fear, nothing will change.

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by callalillies

So at work, we had this huge stash of food stored in a bunch of drawers. It ran out, so someone had to go for a costco run. I was going today anyway to get halloween candy, so I volunteered. He said just buy yourself candy and it's on us if you get the food. The budget was 500 bucks.
My husband and I go to work together, his job is on my way to work. So I picked him up and then we go to Costco as it's right on the same road as his work. It takes some time to spend 500 bucks at costco. So of course it was getting dark outside. My husband doesn't get in the car to go anwhere when it's dark. (Even if I'm driving). He gets these panic attacks. So I didn't think he'd come with me to costco, I was figuring, I'd drop him at home and I'd come back. But he wanted to go. Well he basically was yelling at me at costco cuz it was getting dark out. And was mad at how long I was taking. We were only there a little over an hour.
He ended up staying in a hotel, as he can't get home from work or anywhere at night. And I went home.
It's very frustrating as I CAN'T do anything. I can't go to the store if I need to, I can't stay late for work to DO WORK! Forget about even going out for dinner with coworkers after work for an hour.

Also, the past couple month, I've been on this weird night shift due to a major project deadline coming up. So I work from 2-10 sometimes during the week. He can't get to work by himself or get home by himself. So I have to wake up at 8AM and take him. And on the way home, he can't wait for me, because he can't get home when it's dark. So he has to take a cab (40 dollars) or stay in a hotel. Once in awhile a friend can take him.
To make matters worse, it takes 45 minutes to get to his work going through the streets, when it's 25 minutes via highway (even w/ the rush).

Anyway I went on a tangent. I don't know what the heck to do.

I think your husband may be a werewolf.

[POS VETT]

I'm floored. I have never heard such thing before.

[findinghope]

now see HERE is a situation that needs therapy!