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You can't control others. The woman moved on, it is not something you could control. Focus on things you can control, like your career. Look at your career, what would make it better? Focus on one thing that you want to change about your career, and work on that issue.
I have found that depression is a cycle, and no matter how much we want out of it...sometimes it will just run its course, and things will get better, and you will feel better, and have a different perspective on things. It is the time in between that is difficult to deal with.
Op, by reading your posts, you are miserable because of our society's beliefs and rules. Throw them out the window! Don't let someone say that you must be married, successful in your job and have a house with a white picket fence. That is all nonsense! Alot of us beat to a different drum and don't go by what society says we must have and be.
Be happy in your own skin and don't look at what others have. You have another post now on how to commit suicide. Stop and become genuine. Be a genuine person and don't listen to all the nonsense on how a person is a winner or a success. We are all successes no matter how little or how much we have in life.
Donie, what you don't understand its I want those things, and at one time I had them. So its not really what society says I should have, I really want them. I had a career on the upswing and a beautiful wife. Its all vanished now. I don't know if I'm going to end up on the street at this point. But if I get close, I will end my life. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, he has.
"God does not give more than you can handle"..."things happen for a reason" etc........ BS.
You are in a danger zone and this is an urgent issue.
Get yourself to the office of your personal MD, visit a walk-in clinic or ER, contact a suicide-prevention hotline for assistance. You sound severely depressed and the treatment is MEDICAL INTERVENTION witkh proper counseling and/or medication therapy.
Do it today. NO excuses.
gbh
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
Donie, what you don't understand its I want those things, and at one time I had them. So its not really what society says I should have, I really want them. I had a career on the upswing and a beautiful wife. Its all vanished now. I don't know if I'm going to end up on the street at this point. But if I get close, I will end my life. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, he has.
If someone is seriously suicidal, comments like this and others posted, ie "go ahead.." are not helpful.
There is no way to know his current mental state, so let us err on the side of caution and suggest medical/psychological evaluation/intervention.
gbh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ino
Excellent!!
We are constantly being pushed/dragged into an 'institutionalised' mentallity and belief system. If one doesn't 'conform' to what is considered 'normal behaviour' or whatever by those who have wealth and power we are then pushed/dragged into the world of head shrinkers and medications. As you quite *accurately* intimated - "don't pay the consult fee and see who, and how much, anyone cares or gives a toss about you". Once we are brainwashed into the world of medications we are a lost cause, have lost our own identity, and pose no threat to the establishment, thereby becoming just another zombie, toeing the line and not bucking the system and the institution, conforming to what the 'institution' wants. It goes something like this..."I have determined you have problems and issues, therefore you can't be thinking like a normal person, so here, take this and you'll be fine, shut the door on your way out, and the bill's already in the mail...NEXT PLEASE?".
Donie, what you don't understand its I want those things, and at one time I had them. So its not really what society says I should have, I really want them. I had a career on the upswing and a beautiful wife. Its all vanished now. I don't know if I'm going to end up on the street at this point. But if I get close, I will end my life. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, he has.
I never liked that quote either. It isn't even from the bible, who knows who came up with that.
I too, have lost a lot. I keep on going. I was unemployed, and finally...finally found a job, then they cut me, now I finally found another. I understand how it is when everything you want is gone or not there.
I don't have anyone either, but I am not going to let that crush me.
Sometimes, when I get mad, it is best, because I get fired up to get out of my funk.
I figured out I am a very sensitive person. Maybe that is what makes me an artist, a creative person. I feel things very strongly.
I used to sit in the dark with the lights off to save money. There was something about the candles, that made me feel good.
Donie, what you don't understand its I want those things, and at one time I had them. So its not really what society says I should have, I really want them. I had a career on the upswing and a beautiful wife. Its all vanished now. I don't know if I'm going to end up on the street at this point. But if I get close, I will end my life. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, he has.
So these wants are burdens you impose upon yourself? If something gets too heavy to hold, what do you do? Throw it away. Who told you you must have these things to be happy? You don't. And in a lot of cases, you can only be happy by ridding yourself of such ambitions.
You have given yourself more than you can handle by accepting societies' standards of success. Socrates wasn't kidding when he boasted about how much he could live without and be happy. If you scale back your ambitions to what is possible instead of what takes a herculean effort to achieve, you will not end up on the streets. If you have any savings, by yourself a little piece of land and take care yourself, if no one else will. You have hardly exhausted your options to warrant suicide.
Atlguy - there are only two questions - What do you want? (Really, really want, for your future, for the next 5, then 10, then 20 years) What are you willing to do to get it?
All of the shrinks, self-help books, and meds in the world won't save you, unless you want to - really really want to - save yourself. Been there, did that. And other peoples' answers may not be yours.
Everyone has talents, dreams, hopes, and desires - and most people throw them away to fit into a preconceived notion of normal. Well, I don't believe in "normal" - I believe in "individual". When it all boils down, everyone is 'alone' - alone in their weird thoughts and dreams, alone in their hopes, alone in their wants and needs... even those who seem to be always surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones.
Only YOU can make a difference. Only YOU can make a change. Only YOU can find that one single pushing desire that makes you get up off your but, your maybe, your icant, your no-onewill, and get yourself in gear.
I have said for years that "love" is BS. People looking for "love" are always thwarted, because they are looking for something that doesn't exist, like a unicorn. What matters is knowing who and what you are, respecting and appreciating that (even if no one else does), and eventually finding someone (usually by accident) who has the same goals, ideals, ideas, and who is willing to be a partner in achieving them with you. Everything else is profitable fodder for sappy "love" songs.
Yup, I get depressed, and it was agonizing - until I told myself, "Fine. You feel this way. Feel it for awhile, drown yourself in it - then get off yer azz and get moving." Now it is just a brief phase of self-pity, "I can't I doan wanna I'm tired leave me alone!" , that gets shorter and shorter with time. Shrinks told me that I'd probably commit suicide, that THAT wasn't the way to go, that I needed to stay in counseling, stay on meds, blah blah blah. I am happy and productive 99% of the time now - because I'm not dwelling on my misery every week in session, and not medicating myself into mindless, purposeless oblivion.
Exercises like dancing will increase your endorphins and make you physically less depressed. Vitamins and a healthy lifestyle help, too; a properly functioning and nourished body can help stop depression. But the only way to overcome long-lasting depression is to answer the two questions, make a plan, and DO IT. (The thing about plans is that life happens while you are initiating the planning - take those experiences and run with them!)
Last edited by SCGranny; 06-24-2011 at 07:53 AM..
Reason: speling ;->
Donie, what you don't understand its I want those things, and at one time I had them. So its not really what society says I should have, I really want them. I had a career on the upswing and a beautiful wife. Its all vanished now. I don't know if I'm going to end up on the street at this point. But if I get close, I will end my life. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Well, he has.
Ok why is it so tough for you to start over..
Ok you keep talking about ending your life..we cant help you..you obviously need professional help..
No God hasnt given you more than you can handle..your just not willing to handle it..divorce, career or no reason to end you life..
Now this is going to sound mean...but stop whining over petty things...you sound like the person who stands over the bridge ready to jump..
That child who is in that poor country who hasn't eaten for days is the one I feel sorry for..
The man or woman who has lost their child..
Your problems are minor..
Divorce? career? Yes they hurt but no reason to end your life..
Go get some help..
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