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Old 07-08-2011, 08:20 AM
 
12,542 posts, read 11,612,391 times
Reputation: 2853
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Not always.....It's not always about "Me, how I feel, what I'm doing to myself".....sometimes it's about feeling that there's nothing you can do to make whatever situation you're in better.....sometimes it's about feeling that your family would be better off without you..........they're just mixed up.....and when that reach that real low point, and maybe there's no one to talk to, or maybe they've lost their job,...or maybe a very close loved one has died....they feel they can't deal with their lives ...they take that way out.............Not every suicidal person is a drug addict, or a bum on the street.
I agree this is the case most of the time with people who are not in constant pain from a accident or illness.
They feel they cannot live through the abuse, my kids would get life insurance if I die and for kids who commit suicide it is even more tragic because how does the family and friends around them not notice the place they are in?

 
Old 07-08-2011, 08:30 AM
 
12,542 posts, read 11,612,391 times
Reputation: 2853
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
I can't help but notice your location setting and tag line. Of course you're a big proponent of what imcurious is saying. What you don't seem to realize is that imcuriuos is making things WORSE by spewing a line of "stuff." He or she was the same way in POC on a similar thread and I think someone who clearly does not get it is an insult to those of us afflicted with it.

Depression is an illness. If religion works for some, great. But it should not be a form of treatment anymore than what any other bonifide illness deserves - which is medical attention. Imcurious has gone out of its way to insult those of us who deal with this in this thread and I wish it would just move on as it's getting to the point where what it has to say is simply repetition and INSULTS.
Although I agree with the medical attention is needed at some point part. There are those who can only take baby steps. And if that is reaching out for religion that keeps them from stepping over the edge that is a good thing. Sometimes they just need someone to care anyone. To be able to talk and have someone actually listen to them and be interested in what they are saying with viable answers and solutions.
When they are pulled back from the dark place of despair long enough maybe then they can see themselves seeking medical help or help with a counselor. In DV cases they are ashamed for letting themselves be treated in the manner they are being treated and they have been beaten down so low they sometimes have no where else to go but 6 feet under.
So NO body should negate any course that pulls people back from the suicide thoughts it is a progression forward for them.
Sometimes not as quick as We would like but it is not us that needs help and we have to respect them and what they want. If they are going to do bodily harm the police can be called.
 
Old 07-08-2011, 04:23 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,290 posts, read 4,831,264 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
And I quote imcurious from a post made over in POC:



http://www.city-data.com/forum/19694826-post44.html

And then there is this one:



http://www.city-data.com/forum/19695026-post55.html

And this one:

[/color][/b]

http://www.city-data.com/forum/19694892-post45.html

Yes, it is obvious that imcurious understands this stuff and only wants to help.
I asked you not to quote me out-of-context. Every one of these links you provided is out-of-context . . . they just point to my response to SOMETHING . . . the thread is not included, so there is no way to even get to the actual context.

I don't appreciate this strategy for discrediting me and I think it is highly unethical.
 
Old 07-09-2011, 10:34 AM
 
2,010 posts, read 1,525,987 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Well, speaking as someone who still considers it on a daily basis, I don't think anyone would miss me. So I don't consider it selfish. My issue is ZERO self esteem and the world proving me right. My wife is gone, I'm unemployed, and absolutely hopeless.
Atlguy,
I imagine you're feeling lonely, directionless & hopeless.
It's understandable that you'd feel that way. Yet, I believe that inside of you, & all of us - is a desire to do what we think is best. Sometimes, we're way off from what is really best & may mistakenly believe that hurting others or ourselves is best - when it isn't.

I think, where "selfish" comes in, is more like "self-centered" - believing that we are the source of the problems, when in reality, we are only a small part. For example, you wife being gone had many more influences than just you - her background, others' influences on her etc. You being unemployed, also in more complicated than just your fault. It IS important to take responsibility, so we can improve - that's part of loving ourselves, yet to pin all the problems on ourselves is too much!

Atlguy, You raise some important considerations.
Many of us incorrectly are under the impression that we should be loved, unconditionally. I've heard that there are only 2 sources of unconditional love...
1. Ideal mothers
2. Well-treated dogs
And even those 2 are under the conditions that the mother is psychologicaly healthy & the dog has been treated well.

Think about it... do you trust or commit to caring for someone without some kind of benefit? Even if it's just the good feeling of feeling like a loving person. We expect others to earn our trust & love & we need to earn theirs'. I imagine many would miss you if you were gone... & I imagine many wouldn't care (since most of this world don't know you or me)... Yet, this world has been influenced by you being in it... & you have been influenced having been in it... You have more purpose - more good to experience & contribute!

I hope you feel better, Atlguy. I believe things will get better - keep hope & do your best!
 
Old 07-09-2011, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
2,004 posts, read 1,531,755 times
Reputation: 2092
"Yet, this world has been influenced by you being in it... & you have been influenced having been in it... You have more purpose - more good to experience & contribute!"

This is what I tend to disagree with. I really don't think I've had a positive influence on anyone, especially recently. I'm sure my ex-wife wouldn't have good things to say. I miss her every single day and feel like a big part of me died when she left. Its been over 2 years and I still feel this way. Its slowly killing me, like torture. Not being able to hold onto a job just proves she's right, I'm a loser. She's probably so glad she left and I'm so empty without her. Many of my friends abandoned me when I got divorced. Being unemployed gives me way too much time to think about how my life has turned out nothing like I had hoped for. Its not for lack of trying. I have a ton of education and worked hard for a dying career. I've done volunteer work, therapy, career counseling, read books, divorce support groups, church, and the list goes on. I still feel hopeless and completely alone. I don't know how to change this. No matter what I do, it doesn't improve.
 
Old 07-10-2011, 07:37 AM
 
27,059 posts, read 20,209,484 times
Reputation: 24321
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
"Yet, this world has been influenced by you being in it... & you have been influenced having been in it... You have more purpose - more good to experience & contribute!"

This is what I tend to disagree with. I really don't think I've had a positive influence on anyone, especially recently. I'm sure my ex-wife wouldn't have good things to say. I miss her every single day and feel like a big part of me died when she left. Its been over 2 years and I still feel this way. Its slowly killing me, like torture. Not being able to hold onto a job just proves she's right, I'm a loser. She's probably so glad she left and I'm so empty without her. Many of my friends abandoned me when I got divorced. Being unemployed gives me way too much time to think about how my life has turned out nothing like I had hoped for. Its not for lack of trying. I have a ton of education and worked hard for a dying career. I've done volunteer work, therapy, career counseling, read books, divorce support groups, church, and the list goes on. I still feel hopeless and completely alone. I don't know how to change this. No matter what I do, it doesn't improve.
I am sorry to hear this. Nothing can ever look different when you are so depressed, and it's difficult to get out of the depression when you can't see anything positive. It's a vicious circle.
 
Old 07-10-2011, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
2,004 posts, read 1,531,755 times
Reputation: 2092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I am sorry to hear this. Nothing can ever look different when you are so depressed, and it's difficult to get out of the depression when you can't see anything positive. It's a vicious circle.
Yes, it is a vicious cycle. It keeps me from getting jobs because I doubt myself and women look right past me because I have no confidence. So if this is how life is going to be, then why live? I'm just waiting to die.
 
Old 07-10-2011, 03:49 PM
 
2,010 posts, read 1,525,987 times
Reputation: 916
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
"Yet, this world has been influenced by you being in it... & you have been influenced having been in it... You have more purpose - more good to experience & contribute!"

This is what I tend to disagree with. I really don't think I've had a positive influence on anyone, especially recently. I'm sure my ex-wife wouldn't have good things to say. I miss her every single day and feel like a big part of me died when she left. Its been over 2 years and I still feel this way. Its slowly killing me, like torture. Not being able to hold onto a job just proves she's right, I'm a loser. She's probably so glad she left and I'm so empty without her. Many of my friends abandoned me when I got divorced. Being unemployed gives me way too much time to think about how my life has turned out nothing like I had hoped for. Its not for lack of trying. I have a ton of education and worked hard for a dying career. I've done volunteer work, therapy, career counseling, read books, divorce support groups, church, and the list goes on. I still feel hopeless and completely alone. I don't know how to change this. No matter what I do, it doesn't improve.
Atlguy,
It's understandable that you feel discouraged.
Yet, despite the odds against you, you've shown to be a fighter! I admire that you've volunteered, had therapy, career counseling, read books, participated in divorce support groups & church.
So, we know that it's not because of lack of trying. That's good to know... one big part of the puzzle - solved.
We also know that there are other women out there, at least several would love to be loved by you. So we know that opportunity for a companion/wife isn't the problem.
Your exact job position may not be in high demand... but there ARE jobs out there, just an open & creative mind is needed. So, lack of job is not the problem.
There are 2 more possibilities that could be the cause of your dilemma...
1. Physiology - sleep, diet, exercise, general health
2. Attitude - thinking patterns - self-esteem
What do you think? Either of these ringing any bells (or make sense)?

Self-esteem is ALWAYS generated within us, based on the comparison of our perceived value with what we esteem of value.
Life is of value, just for being life. I imagine, if you saw someone's life at risk, you'd care, even if it was a complete stranger.
So, one type of self-esteem in unconditional.

The other type of self-esteem is conditional, upon how we're matching up with our potential- or rather, how we interpret it.
This 2nd type of self-esteem is largely based on perception. Some get plastic surgery over & over... in an atempt to improve their self-image, which has been in their mind the whole time!
No matter what circumstances we're in, we make it better or worse, by how we interpret those circumstances & ourselves.

What do you want? If you could be guaranteed success, what would you go for? What kind of person do you want to be?
 
Old 07-10-2011, 07:07 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,290 posts, read 4,831,264 times
Reputation: 8956
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Yes, it is a vicious cycle. It keeps me from getting jobs because I doubt myself and women look right past me because I have no confidence. So if this is how life is going to be, then why live? I'm just waiting to die.
What kinds of things are you good at?

What are some simple pleasures you enjoy?

What are your dreams (if the sky were the limit)?

Are you on a dating site?

Do you have hobbies?

The thing is: If nothing changes, nothing changes . . . so here is a suggestion: Get rid of stuff you are not using (clothes, etc.), move your furniture around, do something enjoyable every day . . .change your habits . . . get up at a different time, do different things every day, etc.

Go to the library and hang out and see if you can become inspired . . .

Get out in nature.

Sing in the shower . . .

Listen to music you love on YouTube.

Invite someone over for dinner.

Other . . .
 
Old 07-22-2011, 09:46 AM
 
4,230 posts, read 2,015,659 times
Reputation: 5253
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGem View Post
But it's ONLY about being selfish.

Suicide is only about "I, I, I, I" right this minute it's "Me, how I feel, what I'm doing to myself".

That's selfish.
You call it selfish I call it human nature. As I said in another post. When a person is in tremendous pain the focus goes to protecting oneself from taking on even more pain.

And as I said before, a person who has absolutely no self esteem might think they're actually doing the world a favor by ending their life.
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