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I also had a bad college experience. However, I went to a 4 year university. A 4 year university isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I lived in the dorms, but all of my roommates couldn't wait to transfer. The guys all around me drank until they passed out. A few times the guys next door would say"I invited some chicks over...if they are dogs, turn off the lights and lock the door...if they are hot, let them in." I was a nice guy, but was too shy to talk to the women in my dorm. I think about my experience off and on-I made no friends; one close guy friend I found transferred and never heard from him. I met two girls through him- I was always a "sort-of" friend with them, as in, I was the one they hung out with if other plans fell through. I was surrounded by people my own age, yet lived, ate, and went to class alone. My junior year my roommate was never there, even at night. Not only did one of the two girls I met get drunk alot, but she used me. The two girls, I'll call them J & K, were roommates for 4 years, used me to work out their guy problems(I was never considered to be a possible mate), and had me to help them stumble back from the bars. One night I kept picking leaves out of J's hair b/c she was so drunk she kept jumping in piles of leaves. Now K is married, lives in a great house, great kid, great job, lots of friends, family support. She slid through in an easy major, got mostly easy A's, and got a great job. I worked my tail off, and now I'm at a tough job making little pay, back in school at a tech program, divorced, remarried, no friends, no family support, apartment. I guess the point is that 4 year colleges are always sometimes bad, and we have to get over the past and work hard on the present/future. I've been working everyday to get over college mistakes/lack of friends. I have to work hard on myself and making it in life with my wife. Good luck to all.
Wow, I think I am going to have to print your post and read it to my husband. My daughter basically just got kicked out/dropped out of college and now wants to try to make it on her own, by living in the city where she started college and getting a job for a while, then going back to a more specialized school to study what she really wants to study. I have to go back and read the rest of your story. I was just struck by the coincidence of the timing of me coming across your post.
I hope you are able to find the happiness that everyone deserves.
OKay, time is NOT running out, in the way you think it is. I am 44 and also working in what some might consider a "dead end job". I just started this week! Before that I was a stay at home mom for the greater part of the last 10 years. Lot's of pros and cons to that decision, believe me.
I am sorry that you had such awful experiences in your past, and "getting over it and moving on" is of course easier said than done. But, you can learn to accept it and move past it. YOu can learn to start focussiong more on NOW and the near future. Start with short term goals.
Baby steps.
You seem to be well spoken I am sure you have plenty of good qualities. Focus on those good qualities and try to enjoy the present!
Okay, life is not a "Friends" tv show. I think people think that their life will be that way, based on media. Most people in college, who have a brain, live at home, to save money.
So, you messed up, now, just go to work every day. Join a gym. Life really does not get any better, I think you are expecting too much, and comparing your life with what you want percieve it "should" be...just live the life you have. Make some goals, like saving for travel, or learning a new hobby. Staying home, depressed, does not change anything.
I know that this is an old post so I'll just say that I have many regrets for my college years too but they are so long ago that I can look back on them as a learning experience and things have continually gotten better, even when they got worse--if that makes any sense? I think we build up our strength and perspective as we go on and live life and life is all about decisions--how you make them, why you make them, how you fix the bad ones or learn to live with them. Your life is a work of creativity and it's not always about how much money you make in your career--there is so much more to it.
Wow, I think I am going to have to print your post and read it to my husband. My daughter basically just got kicked out/dropped out of college and now wants to try to make it on her own, by living in the city where she started college and getting a job for a while, then going back to a more specialized school to study what she really wants to study. I have to go back and read the rest of your story. I was just struck by the coincidence of the timing of me coming across your post.
I hope you are able to find the happiness that everyone deserves.
I'm sorry to hear that your daughter got dropped out of school. My first week in college, my Resident Advisor said "Okay, look at the guy on your left, then the guy on your right. One of two won't be here by the end of the semester." He was right-by the end of the semester, a least a handful of the guys hadn't been to a single class; some didn't even know what classes they were taking. In general, I would probably grade my 4 year college experience as a C-. I had some great teachers and I learned alot. However, lack of friends/connections and a whole adviser who yelled at me to get out of his office when I asked for advice really ruined the experience. Plus, I'll never forget some of the horrors I saw in the dorms, which I won't tell unless someone on here really wants to know. I think the specialized schooling might be the way to go-my 4 year degree in poly sci was way too broad to find a job in, unless I moved away(at the time I felt confined to my home state).
I'm sorry to hear that your daughter got dropped out of school. My first week in college, my Resident Advisor said "Okay, look at the guy on your left, then the guy on your right. One of two won't be here by the end of the semester." He was right-by the end of the semester, a least a handful of the guys hadn't been to a single class; some didn't even know what classes they were taking. In general, I would probably grade my 4 year college experience as a C-. I had some great teachers and I learned alot. However, lack of friends/connections and a whole adviser who yelled at me to get out of his office when I asked for advice really ruined the experience. Plus, I'll never forget some of the horrors I saw in the dorms, which I won't tell unless someone on here really wants to know. I think the specialized schooling might be the way to go-my 4 year degree in poly sci was way too broad to find a job in, unless I moved away(at the time I felt confined to my home state).
I really want to know. I think when people sweep things under the rug, it just makes things easier to continue. I didn't go myself. It was a little tough sending my daughter away not really having a first hand experience of college life myself. She's a strong girl, so I wasn't overly worried, but I have heard of hazing, date rape etc, so I did have some concerns. Fortunately "socially" she is pretty strong. She doesn't have trouble making friends. Now, the type of friends she makes, I'm not 100% sure about. Many of them seem to be nice on the surface, but sometimes it's really difficult to read people.
I think toward the end of the semester, she may have been one of those student's that wasn't showing up for class.
I believe she will find her way. But, of course, as a mom, I still worry a little.
If it makes you feel any better, I actually attempted suicide and was hospitalized twice. My family dissolved quickly and I had many terrible things that happened to me. I am now in my third year and it is not perfect. Yes, they told us that college would be the best years of your life, but you know what? I don't want these to be the best years ever because then I would have nothing to look forward to. I know of people who had great high school and college lives and then had long, miserable lives after.
I hope we all have better years to come. If college is supposed to be best years ever, I would rather be dead.
If it makes you feel any better, I actually attempted suicide and was hospitalized twice. My family dissolved quickly and I had many terrible things that happened to me. I am now in my third year and it is not perfect. Yes, they told us that college would be the best years of your life, but you know what? I don't want these to be the best years ever because then I would have nothing to look forward to. I know of people who had great high school and college lives and then had long, miserable lives after.
I hope we all have better years to come. If college is supposed to be best years ever, I would rather be dead.
You know, I've always hated it when people say that high school or college are supposed to be the best years of your life! Really??
You're right! If that's the case than what else do we have to look forward to?
I am sure for SOME those may be the best years, but in my opinion, that would be pretty sad.
I think it would be better to day highschool or college CAN be some great years, but it's up to us to make every moment worth rememering.
Life is full of ups and downs! It doesn't matter if it's elementary school, going to college, getting married, having babies, letting those "babies" grown up and become adults, caring for our aging parents...watching our babies have babies. There are plenty of wonderful moments to come and plenty of awful moments to come. The key is to stay strong through the tough times and try to cherish the positives that come our way.
Now, I just need to take my own advice!
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