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Do you feel she was born that way or parenting was a contributing factor?
Abnormal psychology says sociopaths were born this way and suggests it runs in families.
They brains are wired differently like pedophiles.
It the nature vs. nurture thing- most doctors believe its a combination which is why its so hard to treat- C.A. has a few neurons missing-and no conscience. like a "Bad Seed" (great film too btw)
But also it seems her mother Cindy certainly contributed to it, they cover up they enable for the child etc even criminal behavoior is covered up. I was told by an MD once the worst cases are criminals and drug users bcs the mother will just go out and give the addict more drugs and money to buy them more drugs bcs they are enablers ...
~~Similarly, further research on gene/environment interactions would be helpful
and likely offer the most positive route for intervention or prevention. Also
examining the catalytic impact of environmental strain on antisocial personalities
and how the impact of this strain may be reduced would be a worthy avenue of research. ~~ quote from Dr Ferguson
I agree with Ferguson re: above conclusion ...antisocial can be "triggered" by an event, just like suicidal depression can be triggered by a family tragedy. On PTSD, it is a serious issue esp. now with young people coming back from Iraq and high suicide rates....There are prolly many studies from VA psych hospitals regarding the increase of violence.
The Berkowitz theory of "pure biological cause" is not what I wld agree with, under that theory everyone with antisocial personality disorder who commits murder should be exonerated by society as they were born with a bad gene pool.
the article says nothing re:BPD, virgode, I think thats a separate personality disorder.
Last edited by dreamofmonterey; 09-29-2011 at 01:21 PM..
Reason: add
As I previously mentioned, I have become an advocate for victim/survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Reading through some of these postings, it appears to me, that although many do understand its intracacies [specifically referring to domestic violence], there continues to be, certainly in my opinion, those who not only do not understand how difficult and challenging it is for someone to leave their situation [certainly, it is NOT because they enjoy: being threatened, having their hair pulled, being intimidated, having their pet hurt, being stuck in the house, being isolated from their friends and family, being told that they are worthless and/or incapable of doing anything without their partner, being hit because they broke the yokes of the eggs when their partner wanted eggs over easy], it is difficult and challenging because of fear, of shame, of where to go, who is going to believe them, how will they manage, etc.
I think what might help some people is to try to truly understand the actual 'physical' -fear feeling that a person can go through and then from there, recognize all the components of what is known and understand as domestic violence.
I am including a part of one of the presentations I gave to a group of legislators/judiciary and other law enforcement agencies, along w/social workers and the like. Perhaps some might find it helpful...
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I was one of those people who would read an article or watch a program about domestic violence and say that’s awful, that’s outrageous, something should be done to change the laws and the system and change how victims are viewed and respected. I was one of those people who believed ‘politics and legislation’ meant voting; I was one of those people who believed that the legal system worked as it does on Law and Order, Perry Mason or Matlock.
Had I not lived through the muck and mire of domestic violence I don’t know if I would have, in fact, taken such a stand.
Remember when we sat around a campfire and listened to ghoulish tales….the scarier the better, the more gruesome, far better. Remember getting that creepy feeling in our stomach, the one which moved into our solar plexus, made us gasp with terror, break out in a sheer panic and sweat…remember watching Hitchcock’s the Birds, or even, The Twilight Zone…those were very scary tales. We were supposed to feel scared at a campfire….and for the movies, we could always turn off the television or walk out of the movie theatre.
The same sense of intense fear and terror exists with domestic violence. However, it is not as easy to walk out of our homes as it is to walk out of a movie theatre or away from the campfire.
Remember how furious we could get with our children, how we could get to the point where we could give them a good wallop…and why didn’t we? We did not hurt our children because there was a control, a stopping point; we could and did catch ourselves.
A batterer does not stop.
There are a myriad of theories of the causes of domestic violence. Regardless of the theories, we do know it is a learned behavior; it is fear-based behavior, it is a lack of control….a switch which gets turned on by the batterer and does not get turned off. It involves fear, with both parties. The batterer has a sense of entitlement that this behavior can be done and of course, is therefore justified. We also know the effects of domestic violence, some short-term and others long-lasting and haunting: bruises, broken bones, lack of self-worth, shame, fear, terror, lack of confidence, and even death.
Domestic violence comes in many forms; it can be emotional, sexual, financial, spiritual and of course, physical. It can take on one or two of these elements or it can integrate all; I lived through every facet of domestic violence.
And why does the battered stay: Fear, economics, attitudes. Sometimes it evolves into the quiet acceptance or the inability to be heard or taken seriously.
I am an intelligent woman. I was raised in a well-educated, upper middle-class family. I was taught the value and appreciation of respect, self-worth, love, and consideration. This was the only type of relationship I ever saw; my parents had a wonderful, secure and healthy 52-year marriage. I wanted the same, expected the same, and never knew there was any other way to live other than this type of relationship.
Emotional abuse is not swift, it is subtle. Emotional abuse can be much worse in that outsiders cannot see it or understand it; physical abuse is abhorrent and easily understood. If the battered does not make a move immediately, then it becomes harder for anyone to believe and more difficult for the battered to leave.
There is a clear distinction between ‘blind faith’ and trust. Blind faith tends to be associated with, in my opinion, naiveté or denial. Trust, however, is that it is anticipated and expected when entering into a relationship and/or marriage. Trust is to be confident, and to place confidence in… to do something without fear or misgiving, to rely on truthfulness or accuracy. Financial responsibility and sharing those finances are part of that trust. I believed, when I asked if bills were paid, they were. I believed that I did not have to question finances…. that I was in fact, an integral part of the decision-making process regarding our finances. As such, why would I think that our bills were not paid, that my name would be forged on checks, corporate resolutions and bank documents? I had been ‘taken’, I had my family’s inheritance taken from me, I was left with tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt without the resources to pay these debts. I had to sell my home in order to pay off a magnitude of debt; I had to pay many bills twice since I had previously given my husband the funds to pay many of these bills. I had to start my life over again with nothing. I have beaten myself up more times than I like to count wondering how I could have been kept so in the dark. This too is abuse, it is financial abuse.
I recall sitting at my office desk, looking up to find my former husband standing there. I recall being at the grocery store and finding him walking up to my shopping cart. I recall being at a friend’s house and finding him at the front door to say ‘hi’. I initially did not think this was strange, perhaps a surprise or a coincidence. I recall a day when he was distressed about something regarding work; he was angry and relatively volatile. He threw something. I was taken aback. He apologized for scaring me. I accepted the apology. I recall when he was distressed about something, again pertaining to work. He was angry and relatively volatile. He pushed me out of the way. I was taken aback. He apologized for scaring me. I accepted the apology. I recall a day he was distressed for no apparent reason. He was angry and relatively volatile. He shoved me. I was taken aback. He apologized for scaring me. This time I did not readily accept the apology.
I recall an evening when I went to bed early because I was very sick. He came upstairs; I thought it was to check on me. He climbed into bed. He wanted sex. I was very ill. He did not care. I asked him to let me go back to sleep. He did not care. He had sex and he hurt me. He did not care. He went to sleep. I felt betrayed and violated. I was.
This is not merely about husbands and wives; this is about partners in a relationship. This is about domestic violence with all the evils, threats, fears, bruises, horrors that your minds can possibly visualize. This is about not knowing, not understanding and not reading the signs which are the red flags to domestic violence.
Men hurt women. Women hurt men. Men abuse women, women abuse men. Husbands and boyfriends rape their wives and girlfriends. My husband did this to me, many times. It is scary, it is demeaning and it is a violation of your person, your emotions and your soul. People do not want to believe this happens. They determine that the wife or girlfriend is simply angry with her husband or boyfriend, is just making up a story, after all how can that be? They are partners; sex is a part of a relationship and what right does that woman have to say no! And, most importantly, who the hell is going to believe them anyway. And, it is terribly embarrassing to tell anyone, even your best friend.
One day I arrived home to find two State trooper cars on my property and my former husband sitting in one. I asked what was going on. My husband looked at me, said “nothing” and “go in the house”. I asked again if everything was all right; he looked at me and again told me to “go into the house”. I did. I learned a short time later that my husband had beaten someone up, knocked him on the floor, brandished a gun, put the gun to the victim’s head and cocked the gun. Fortunately someone was at the scene and pulled him off the victim before any more harm could be done. This was a very serious situation and it reflected the seriousness of his temper. This incident should have been a ‘red flag’ to those law enforcement officers who were at my house. Unfortunately, I was not taken aside to talk with an officer. I was never asked if there were other issues of concern or violence; I was never asked if I felt I was in a dangerous situation. His gun was not confiscated. After citing him with two misdemeanor charges, simple assault and reckless endangerment, they drove away. I knew right then that if law enforcement officers were not aware of the ‘signs’ of possible domestic violence nor were trained or savvy enough to even think to ask me if I had concerns, that no-one would have listened to me nor cared had I come forward. I was terrified for the remainder of that evening.
I was terrified a lot in this relationship. Yet there were periods when we did not have turmoil…when times were ‘good’ as rare as that was, I would forget about the other times, or forgive and then out of the blue, that ‘other person’ would emerge, again, that mean, scary and volatile person.
All of a sudden you realize you are walking on eggshells, having to be so careful with what you say, or not say, how you act, or not act, how to dress, or not to dress. You don’t know from one day to the next, or one moment to the next that what you say can trigger off anger and rage. It is about keeping you off guard…. You don’t know if you are coming or going and you really begin to wonder if you are going crazy. After all, he never seems to be angry with anyone else but you and you are always being blamed…it is always your fault.
This is about power and control. This is about sheer unadulterated fear. This is about not knowing who or where to turn because you are terrified of the ramifications if you do come forward, or worse, who is going to believe you if you do?
It can take a lot of times attempting to leave, but it is not until that moment when you know that your life may be over, literally, that you muster the courage to walk away, sometimes leaving everything behind you.
Scared, damn right I was. I did not know if I was more scared abut being able to leave than I was scared staying. Even at that point, I did not understand most of the dynamics of what had been going on in my 16-year marriage but I sure knew something was wrong. I finally came out, went to a friend for help… was taken immediately to an agency involved with domestic violence. I did not fully understand what domestic violence was but when I did, I was shattered to realize that I had been living under that umbrella.
I am not negating the fact that there are people who fabricate tales of domestic violence; I think it is egregious to act in that manner because it can compel a judge or a police officer to then question the veracity of a victim’s statement. However when a person does come forward, (and it takes a lot of courage to do so) and announces “I am a victim of domestic violence” listen…pay attention…help and protect them. Had I come forward earlier, I am sure that my life would have been markedly different.
I wish there was a way to make changes, to make domestic violence disappear. I wish there were mechanisms which would change people’s views and attitudes about any form of victimization, but I don’t.
It is about education. It is about zero tolerance. It is about taking every opportunity to expose violence and holding people accountable for that violence. The mechanismsare the prosecutors, legislators, law enforcement agencies, affiliate agencies and the advocates who have a commitment and responsibility to help victim/survivors and to create an atmosphere where equity and accountability are tantamount to safety and respect. "
Wow, sorry all that stuff happened to you. Glad you are okay. I understand women who stay in abusive relationships, and feel sorry for them, they can't help themselves, they are so wrapped up in their misery, and problems. Everyone else just tells them to leave, and can't understand why they don't...they just don't get it...you have to have had the experience to understand the complexity of the dynamics.
Jasper12, personally, because so much, at least for a long time was not physical, I truly did not understand all the elements of the umbrella of domestic violence. It is interesting also to read some of the additional postings, especially those that have veered off into the arena of 'sociopath' and other personality disorders. I learned, considerably after the fact [and probably really good, in some ways that I did not have a clue - {smile} that my former partner was in fact a sociopath. One of the amazing qualities [does not mean a good quality] of a sociopath is that they can be so good at what they do, that you do not have a clue that they do not have empathy, a conscience, etc., because one of the other components of being a sociopath, I strongly believe, is they can appear to have compassion, understanding, remorse, sensitivity, and one thing that they all seem to have in common is they are 'charming and smooth'. In thinking back, one of the 'standard' lines I would hear when there was an 'upheaval'...was a reminder that "I [referring to me, the poster] had a super upbringing and I had parents who really loved me....." and "I [meaning my former partner] did not and you can not understand"...and absolutely, he was right, I could not, nor can I to this very day, understand parents who do not love their children, or care sufficiently about their children [that's another conversation, I suppose]...so, I would say 'you are right, I was fortunate and I cannot understand'. Never did I realize that was all part of an incredible form of manipulation which ultimately led to other things.
The last time I did attempt to leave, I was caught and it was quite the unpleasant experience for me. I knew right then if I got caught again, I would not be so fortunate the next time.
It was a gift for me when he left the area.
My story although elements may be a little different from someone else's story, is in essence, the same. And, once others can truly understand the impact, the true fear, the consequences of what will undoubtedly happen if you do leave, perhaps they will better understand why someone ends up staying.
The true risk factor of death comes when you leave. Staying is another aspect of survival - one knows or certainly learns, that 'this too shall pass' and one knows what is coming...one can only speculate how horrible and dangerous it will be when you leave, AND, you will not know when, how or what is going to be the possible end. Scary.
Although it has been many years for me since I have had to truly consciously think of safety at every given moment, there are still times, I will admit, that if I see a car driving behind me for what I determine is too long, I am on guard, I am watchful and careful and if necessary, I will change my destination plan 'just in case' and then when I am assured that it is someone just using the road, I will change my route to go to my planned destination.
Maine was the first state to institute orders of protection for animals, Vermont, the second. I was given an opportunity to write about my experience and position regarding orders of protection for animals...I was fortunate, others are not. Some victim/survivors find their pets cut up in mailboxes or worse, on the doorstep so their children are exposed to the cruelty and probably will be scarred forever. I think all states should provide orders of protection for animals......
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Living through domestic violence and its far-reaching and ominous tentacles, one dynamic which has been overlooked for entirely too long is the manipulation and all too often, the use, abuse and manipulation of animals. When one hears of domestic violence, they generally attribute this insidious act to the abuse of a person or a child, not a pet. Understanding the intricacies of domestic violence, it seems only logical that something that is loved and is so special to the victim would in fact be used or abused. Other than our love for our children, what additional insult and hurt could affect us more than having something happen to our pets?
I have painfully experienced this when my dog was ‘kidnapped’ from me. I had no idea where >>>>>>> was for nearly two months. I was devastated. I went to the authorities for assistance; I provided evidence that this was “my dog”. I was certainly patronized; however this was not a situation which was taken seriously. Although I was fortunate that >>>>>>> was ultimately returned to me, it was also evident that he had been abused. What better weapon to use on me than my pet.
I believe that there are some abusers who will never hurt or abuse an animal; however, I believe that someone who hurts or abuses an animal will certainly abuse a person
Although it has been many years for me since I have had to truly consciously think of safety at every given moment, there are still times, I will admit, that if I see a car driving behind me for what I determine is too long, I am on guard, I am watchful and careful and if necessary, I will change my destination plan 'just in case' and then when I am assured that it is someone just using the road, I will change my route to go to my planned destination.
Thanks for sharing this....
The uncomfortable feelings and need to be on guard remain. Only someone who went thru the experience can really relate.
A sociopath can not turn it off, I'm still looking over my shoulder to this day.
Oregon Animal Law:The Animal Law Section of the Oregon State Bar.
Animal Abuse as an Indicator of Domestic Violence or Neglect
In recent years, a strong connection has been made between animal abuse and domestic violence. In fact, cruelty to animals is considered to be a significant predictor of future domestic violence. According to Phil Arkow, humane educator and chair of the Latham Foundation’s Child and Family Violence Prevention Project, “[f]amily violence often begins with pet abuse.” When animals in a home are abused or neglected, it is a warning sign that others in the household may not be safe. Because abusers target the powerless, crimes against animals, spouses, children, and the elderly often go hand in hand. Researchers have found that a batterer’s first target is often an animal living in the home, while the second is a spouse or a child.
Parents who neglect or abuse animals may also abuse or neglect their own children. For example, Indiana residents Jade M. Jonas and Michael R. Smith faced felony charges when authorities discovered their two children and three dogs languishing in their filthy house. According to news sources, officials first found a tethered dog deprived of food and water outside the home. Upon entering the couple’s residence, investigators found a 3-month-old boy lying near piles of feces, trash, and rotten food. There was also a half-clothed toddler and two other dogs. In another case, Illinois authorities found 40 parasite-ridden dogs amid 6 inches of feces on property occupied by John Morris. Officials responding to neighbors’ concerns found the sick and emaciated dogs confined to filthy animal carriers before discovering three children living in similar conditions.
Abusive family members may threaten, injure, or kill pets as a way of controlling others in the family. According to Susan Urban, a certified social worker with the ASPCA’s Counseling Services, “[i]n domestic violence,… the perpetrator often uses the animal to hurt a particular person – usually the person who loves and cares for the pet. The animal is abused in order to intimidate, harass or silence the vulnerable person.” The message the perpetrator is sending is, “Look what I can do to your animal, and imagine what I can do to you.” In addition, the perpetrator may retaliate against a person by hurting his or her pets or by otherwise abusing animals in that person’s presence. Studies have found that from 54 to 71 percent of women seeking shelter report that their partners had threatened, injured or killed one or more family pets.
When a family member abuses an elderly relative’s pet, the motivations may be complex. Many older adults are particularly attached to their pets, which makes their pets vulnerable to abuse by those who want to exert power and control over the elderly person. The perpetrator may neglect or abuse an elderly person’s pet as a form of control or retaliation, out of frustration over their caretaking responsibilities, or as a way to extract financial assets.
In cases of child abuse, perpetrators often abuse animals to exert their power and control over children and other vulnerable family members. In some cases, abusers will force children to sexually abuse, hurt, or kill a pet. Threats of animal abuse may also be used to intimidate children to keep silent about being victims of abuse.
To summarize, batterers may threaten, abuse, or kill animals to
• demonstrate and confirm power and control over the family;
• isolate the victim and children;
• eliminate competition for attention;
• force the family to keep violence a secret;
• teach submission;
• retaliate for acts of independence and self-determination;
• perpetuate terror;
• prevent the victim from leaving or coerce him or her to return;
• punish the victim for leaving; or to
• degrade the victim through involvement in the abuse.
Witnessing abuse towards parents or pets may compromise a child’s psychological adjustment, increase his propensity for interpersonal violence, and make children’s cruelty to animals more likely to emerge as a symptom of distress. Children who have witnessed domestic violence or who have been the victims of physical or sexual abuse may also become animal abusers themselves, imitating the violence they have seen or experienced.
Children who abuse animals may be repeating a lesson learned at home, engaging in post-traumatic reenactment of a violent episode, or may be reacting to anger or frustration with violence. Researchers say that a child’s violence towards animals often represents displaced hostility and aggression stemming from neglect or abuse of the child or of another family member. Some children may express the pain of victimization by abusing vulnerable family pets. A victimized child may try to regain a sense of power by victimizing a more vulnerable animal. Children in violent homes frequently participate in this pecking-order battery, in which they may injure or kill an animal. Oregon Animal Law » The Link: Cruelty to Animals and Violence Towards People
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