How does one properly handle multiple difficulties without freaking out? (suicide, anxiety)

[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by imcurious

Well, there's nothing wrong with your skills . . .so you just yelled and cursed at them? Did this go on for awhile? Do you normally lose it like that? Just curious . . .it's a moot point now, but it does seem like you need some anger management classes or something because "sh*t happens," and you can't just freak out . . . (evidently you can, but it's not helpful . . )

Classes. I've been told that, but the notion of anything remotely related to "school" also seems to make my brain swell up.
And also at this point, can't afford since I've been helping my mom out with things and now have no money to pay for such luxury.

Maybe once I find another job, trucking or otherwise, I'll heavily look into it.
One on one sessions would probably be better.

As far as getting trained/educated in a different field, my fear/distaste of classrooms is probably another detriment to any upward mobility I might have in mind.

[bentstrider]

On the brighter side of things, I've already been cleared for orientation with two separate trucking outfits I applied with recently.
Ones 48-state/Over the road only, the other offers both 48-state and regional.
I've got my mind set on the second option, but the first is there and my applications are still being processed at 4 others due to Thanksgiving.

Seeing this as sort of a redemption, I feel it's time to start working on preventing and eliminating some of the things that got me into the predicament a week or so ago.
Get on the defensive and quit letting things get to me.

[bentstrider]

Well, I've been employed at the first place for a month and not liking it, but was called and accepted into a regional haul outfit.

Looking at the things in this particular job that make me tick, one of them is most definitely having a developed routine broken up.
I tend to not get angry much and do my job effectively when I'm driving along the same route and dealing with the same set of customers every week.
When I'm thrust into a completely different shipper or receiver each week and forced to go into a different area each time, that tends to keep me on edge.

That I do not like.

If anything, the key for future success and happiness for myself is to get myself firmly into a position where at least my work life remains steady and uneventful.
Some people like surprises and variety, I like the same meat on my plate everyday.

[stillkit]

I thought truck drivers were SUPPOSED to yell and scream at shippers and receivers. Heck, I did that all the time for 30 years!

As for your original problem? Two suggestions come to mind:

1. Don't sweat the log book so much. So what if you go a few hours over? It's no big deal unless you kill somebody.

2. Learn the magic word which all dispatchers need to understand....No. If a situation like that other one comes up again, and it will, just repeat after me, "No. I don't have the hours." If they say do it anyhow, say, "No." If they threaten to fire you, say, "Go ahead. I dare you to fire me because I won't run illegally."

[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by stillkit

I thought truck drivers were SUPPOSED to yell and scream at shippers and receivers. Heck, I did that all the time for 30 years!

As for your original problem? Two suggestions come to mind:

1. Don't sweat the log book so much. So what if you go a few hours over? It's no big deal unless you kill somebody.

2. Learn the magic word which all dispatchers need to understand....No. If a situation like that other one comes up again, and it will, just repeat after me, "No. I don't have the hours." If they say do it anyhow, say, "No." If they threaten to fire you, say, "Go ahead. I dare you to fire me because I won't run illegally."

Electronic log-books have pretty much ruled out #1.
As for #2, I'm going to go about avoiding it ever coming to that, but if it does I'll just tell them no and see what happens.

If anything, I took the big risk and bit off more than I could chew about 8 years ago when I got my license.
I got into this line of work due to being suckered into it by so-called big-money. Looks like there is, but the road to that is paved with a lot of grief.
Once I've finally got that trucking-school bill taken care of, back to security work and school for my diesel and welding tech certifications.

Working security never really made me angry and I'd much rather fix things than operate them in the field.

Oh, and merry Christmas!!!

[stillkit]

Originally Posted by bentstrider

Electronic log-books have pretty much ruled out #1.
As for #2, I'm going to go about avoiding it ever coming to that, but if it does I'll just tell them no and see what happens.

If anything, I took the big risk and bit off more than I could chew about 8 years ago when I got my license.
I got into this line of work due to being suckered into it by so-called big-money. Looks like there is, but the road to that is paved with a lot of grief.
Once I've finally got that trucking-school bill taken care of, back to security work and school for my diesel and welding tech certifications.

Working security never really made me angry and I'd much rather fix things than operate them in the field.

Oh, and merry Christmas!!!

Yes, I know the electronic logs make it more difficult, but there MUST be a way. If not, who would want to drive a truck and spend more time sitting around than driving? What would be the point? You might as well work in a factory.

The secret of telling them no: It took me awhile to figure out, but once you've made yourself a reputation of being the "go to guy," the one who can get the job done no matter what, you can get away with murder! Dependable drivers are so hard to come by that a good one can pretty much do what he likes and say what he likes.

For instance, my brother was that kind of driver too and once even got away with telling the Big Boss he'd go out to the truck, get his gun and kill him! Even I never went THAT far! LOL

[Huckleberry3911948]

you are a
Conscientious person
this is a huge asset.
u have an excellent chance of fixing this.
the issue is not their crazy behavior, its about "losing it".
the unfair part of life, is no matter how bad they act, if you react, it all about you.
i can tell u want to fix this. counseling and self help classes can do wonders.
ask the counselor about 12 step as well.

[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

you are a
Conscientious person
this is a huge asset.
u have an excellent chance of fixing this.
the issue is not their crazy behavior, its about "losing it".
the unfair part of life, is no matter how bad they act, if you react, it all about you.
i can tell u want to fix this. counseling and self help classes can do wonders.
ask the counselor about 12 step as well.

Or as I said, I could just go back to an easier job that paid less, but I didn't get angry or anxiety attacks doing.
Working security, I felt as though being somewhat aggressive, yet somewhat passive was an easy enough thing to pull off.
People weren't allowed to enter a certain area or do a certain thing, then you let it be known by simply looking scary and holding the weight.
At least that's how I saw it and my employers in that field never gave me any guff over doing my job.

Driving trucks on the other hand means you're on the other side of the fence being told what to do by pretty much everybody.
Money might be good, but after being fired from this line of work two different times, perhaps big bucks and success just isn't for me.

At least in this field.

[stillkit]

Originally Posted by bentstrider

Or as I said, I could just go back to an easier job that paid less, but I didn't get angry or anxiety attacks doing.
Working security, I felt as though being somewhat aggressive, yet somewhat passive was an easy enough thing to pull off.
People weren't allowed to enter a certain area or do a certain thing, then you let it be known by simply looking scary and holding the weight.
At least that's how I saw it and my employers in that field never gave me any guff over doing my job.

Driving trucks on the other hand means you're on the other side of the fence being told what to do by pretty much everybody.
Money might be good, but after being fired from this line of work two different times, perhaps big bucks and success just isn't for me.

At least in this field.

Watch out. The accumulated stress and fatigue from many years of truck driving can lead to anger management problems, can't it? And, that can be disastrous. All you've done so far is yell at a customer, but the day might come (as it did for me) that you begin pursuing cars or people that make you angry or upset, intending bodily harm. That's a good way to end up in jail or dead.

You asked how to handle it? Well...your post here might very well be the answer. It was for me. After 30 years of OTR driving, and dealing with the hidden effects of combat when I was in the Army, I went to the VA for help and eventually was able to quit working on VA disability.

It's really quite amazing what a great therapy not having to deal with "road stress" is. Now, not much bothers me and I can usually take multiple difficulties in stride without breaking a sweat. I'm convinced that had I continued on driving a truck, I'd have ended up in prison for killing someone.

[bentstrider]

Originally Posted by stillkit

Watch out. The accumulated stress and fatigue from many years of truck driving can lead to anger management problems, can't it? And, that can be disastrous. All you've done so far is yell at a customer, but the day might come (as it did for me) that you begin pursuing cars or people that make you angry or upset, intending bodily harm. That's a good way to end up in jail or dead.

You asked how to handle it? Well...your post here might very well be the answer. It was for me. After 30 years of OTR driving, and dealing with the hidden effects of combat when I was in the Army, I went to the VA for help and eventually was able to quit working on VA disability.

It's really quite amazing what a great therapy not having to deal with "road stress" is. Now, not much bothers me and I can usually take multiple difficulties in stride without breaking a sweat. I'm convinced that had I continued on driving a truck, I'd have ended up in prison for killing someone.

You managed to last thirty years, while it seems like I begin to crumble only within the course of a year or a so of driving.
When I think of it that way, I really do start to think that it's better for some of us to be only moderately successful.
While going back into security or finding some other low-stress occupation would be helpful, I'm also looking at other smart ways to stay in driving, but limit the hazards to myself.

I've already mentioned areas in the mountain states being the least "road-rage inducing" when it comes to operating commercial motor vehicles.
I've also noticed that when I'm stuck to the same particular route or geographical region, doesn't necessarily have to be the same customer, I feel that the job's become routine enough to where I sit pretty and have a positive smirk across my face.

Looks like with me, the key to happiness and a trouble-free future lies in having "no surprises".
Once I find that, you'll probably find me posting much less underneath this thread and more under some random one where I'm blabbering about something else.