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Its not a good time for any of us who's mother has passed on...four years for me. I too hate the commercialization of a day that should be a quiet moment and a very personal one. Not, as it is, when you go out to dinner with a women who never had children and they give them a rose or whatever.Quite embarrassing I would say, and in some cases , kinda sad.
Its for that reason I refuse to leave my yard and my woods on Mothers day, same goes for Fathers as well.. Just cause I may be one does not mean I am happy about it.......I haven't received a fathers Day card in 30 years or more like 40 come to think of it.
For those of you who really enjoy thanks to your Mother and she in return, thats great, have your day, I will stay home !
I understand, and it's beautiful that you have a yard and the woods in which to find some peace. It's best not to be around strangers, 'cause we all know that they can say and do some of the most heartless, idiotic, and stupid things. Some folks mean well, others don't, and still others are too self-absorbed to care one way or the other.
I'm sorry that you haven't received a Father's Day card in years.
These are just hallmark days that -as usual - most folks follow after, like sheep. Celebrating them is nice - IF there is something to celebrate. For others, it's a day of salt being poured into wounds. Whatever it takes to heal, do it. Enjoy the woods. Fix a nice dinner. Watch some dvds. Do something for yourself.
I called my Dad, we live on the same property, during the conversation he said "happy mother's day", I knew, that he knew, that even though he meant it, it was awful. I said, out loud, I hate mothers day, he said me too. He knows the only reason I slightly care about it is because I have a daughter who just became a Mother, almost 2 years ago. I was genuinely happy about her surprise from her hubby this morning but she is sensitive about this day and tomorrow. It totally sucks.
Just went to the gas station, the girl said Happy Mother's day, I quietly said thank you.
It's sad when holidays or birthdays or other special days like Mother/Father's Day can bring-up so many old wounds...Sorry for everyone...As I wrote in an earlier post I've always associated Mother's Day with my wedding anniversary. (Sometimes my anniversary fell right on Mother's Day.)...My husband has been dead for nearly 2 years now. My older son passed away too. (May 18th would have been his 43rd birthday.)...And my younger son is still battling brain tumors. So it's all been quite a challenge!...But I still want to find some reasons to be happy today. And I want to enjoy the day! (Despite it all!) Guess this is just my nature... But I'm sorry if the day is not very happy for some people due to sad events in the past. I didn't mean to hurt or offend anyone by my earlier "Happy Mother's Day" post.
It's sad when holidays or birthdays or other special days like Mother/Father's Day can bring-up so many old wounds...Sorry for everyone...As I wrote in an earlier post I've always associated Mother's Day with my wedding anniversary. (Sometimes my anniversary fell right on Mother's Day.)...My husband has been dead for nearly 2 years now. My older son passed away too. (May 18th would have been his 43rd birthday.)...And my younger son is still battling brain tumors. So it's all been quite a challenge!...But I still want to find some reasons to be happy today. And I want to enjoy the day! (Despite it all!) Guess this is just my nature... But I'm sorry if the day is not very happy for some people due to sad events in the past. I didn't mean to hurt or offend anyone by my earlier "Happy Mother's Day" post.
I commend you for wanting to find something good in this day.
"Guess this is just my nature." You have a good, positive nature that has taken you through many challenges, and keeps you going. May you always find the good in life in spite of its bad.
Soda120...Thanks for the kind words. Well I know that my (deceased) loved ones don't want me to be "down" or miserable...Of course I miss them! I wish they were all "still here." But it was their time to "go" for whatever reason. And they would be upset and disappointed in me if I just "gave up" and "shut-down" and basically "stopped living" and "stopped loving" and "stopped being happy" just because they are "gone" now...I'm still responsible for taking "good care" of myself no matter what! I have to find ways to "love" and "spoil myself!" And I enjoy "spreading love" and "spreading cheer" to others too! But I know that some people just want to be "left alone" and I try to respect other peoples' "wishes" and "ways" too!..Everyone isn't just like me! We all have our own ways of "healing" and dealing with things...I'm not big on "suffering" or feeling "down" for long. I let myself cry and "feel" my feelings when need be to get "stuff" out of my system. Then I'm ready to find some reasons to "be happy" and have fun again. ...My son finds reasons to "be happy" everyday even though some doctors tell him he may not have long to live. I think his positive attitude will help extend his life. It sure helped my husband live longer than the doctors predicted anyway!...This is just my "take" on things. Sorry to go on and on!
My mom is alive and well but we both feel we do not need "mother's day" as reminder of how much we care about each other. I chose not to have kids but I still love them. In fact she told me today she doesn't really care for Mother's day or father's day because both of her parents, my dad and her brother are passed on. To her it's a day to relax and do what she feels like doing. So I completely understnad those who do not like this day and how painful it can be. It's been 37 years since my mom's mom died and she still misses her alot especially today. My best GF lost her mom last July. I knew today would be hard for her so my mom and I both called her to say we were thinking about her. I even offered to take a ride with her to the cemetery but she was already on her way.
I think Mothers day is a nice Day. If you cant celebrate with Mom, many are out with girlfriends today.Being bitter doesnt serve any pupose.
Not always easy, but worth getting to the point of feeling good about others, and not resentful if we don't have the exact same situation.
Excuse me, but why surround yourself with people who have what you don't? Why expose yourself to unnecessary pain? If someone is occasionally bitter, so what? Bitterness doesn't hurt anyone except the person who is embittered. When they get tired of hurting themselves, they'll find a way to work through - and hopefully eliminate - the bitterness.
Why be around all the "hoopla" of others on Mothers Day when you feel like smacking the smiles off their faces? I don't care what anyone says, sometimes people have the right to be angry and bitter about a loss, especially on a day when it's shoved in one's face - and forget feeling "good about others". Sometimes it takes years to work through the anger and bitterness. Some days are better than others. People are too smug to realize that. They are too smug with their own fortunes to care about others' misfortunes.
So you think Mothers day is "a nice day". Well, not everyone feels that way, for various reasons. But you probably don't care. Try a little empathy for others, instead of being cold, flippant, and possibly self-absorbed with your own good fortune(s). Think you can do that?
I think Mothers day is a nice Day. If you cant celebrate with Mom, many are out with girlfriends today.Being bitter doesnt serve any pupose.
Not always easy, but worth getting to the point of feeling good about others, and not resentful if we don't have the exact same situation.
Forgive me if I go on feeling bitter and resentful.
My mom died when I was 11. At 28 years old, I've spent more Mother's Day with a dead mother than with a live one. Usually, it doesn't bother me, I just go on treating this day like any other Sunday, but today has been nothing short of horrible for me and this year as a whole has been tough.
Maybe it's because I recently graduated from college and I didn't have my parents (I'm not on speaking terms w/ my dad for all sorts of reasons) there with me like dang near everyone else did. I honestly didn't even want to go to the ceremony for that reason, but my sister flew in and attended. Of course I'm grateful she bothered, but it still stings that it's yet ANOTHER milestone I'll be celebrating almost alone.
I have a couple of friends who became new mothers this year. I of course wished them a Happy's Mother's Day, but underneath it all, I feel bitterness. I feel bitter and sad that, unlike them, there will NEVER be a "Three Generations Brunch". Any kids I have will never know their maternal grandparents. I guess it only just hit me that I won't have a mother present for my wedding or holding my hand in the delivery room, no special brunches w/ child and grandmother all together.
I don't know, maybe it's all of these things and maybe it's something as silly as the fact that my former a**hole of a landlord threw out the only keepsake I had left of my mother last summer. No photos left, nothing concrete left of her. My memories of her are so few and the ones left are fleeting at an alarming rate. Mother's Day doesn't bring up the few happy memories I have left of her, it just reopens the scar of watching her die and all the years that have passed and will continue to pass w/o her.
So yeah, over 15 years later, I'm still bitter at what I no longer have (the role my father played in this whole mess doesn't help matters one bit )
I'm almost sure that the OP simply wouldn't understand why you still feel bitter. Remember, we should be happy for others, and not resentful. What a load of manure!
While I don't advocate wallowing in bitterness or self-pity (both can be destructive - and I am NOT saying that you are "wallowing" in anything), it's totally understandable why you're bitter. You have the right, but don't let it stagnate you.
Also, please know that you have good things going on. You graduated college, for one. That's an accomplishment. There are other positives in your life. You're still plugging away at living. Others have given up. You're smart. You're resilient. Some people aren't.
Keep surviving and moving on. You'll see more progress. Unfortunately, no one can change the past; concentrate on getting through the present and making things better for yourself. You live with yourself 24/7. Might as well be good to yourself.
Sometimes we're alone more often than we'd like. People can be ... fair-weather, unreliable, fake, etc. That's one reason I think that we must love ourselves more and enjoy (or at least try to) being alone. Hate to say, but life has few guarantees. There may be no husband or family. Then again, you may have a husband and children in your future. Life can be fulfilling either way.
Make self-love a priority, and the other relationships (when it's time for them) will be the icing on the cake. However, YOU must be the cake. Sorry to sound corny.
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May you always find the good in life in spite of its bad.
)
What a load of manure!
