Opinions wanted - I think I may need help but not sure (depressed, diet)

[anon.1988]

I'm 24 - an architecture student... things should be good and I can see them going where i want them to. but it's been like that for years

I'm trapped in a relationship. I have a family that don't help me. I have £10,000 of overdraft debt plus my student loans, i've gained three and a half stone in three years, I don't sleep at nights and take drugs openly as a form of escapism.

Sometimes I feel like a walking zombie and feel myself being emotionally driven out of my own control. Sometimes I cry when the bathroom door closes, so that I am on my own away from my girlfriend. who albeit my best friend, I do not and will not ever love. But I can't leave her due to financial and emotionally supportive reasons. All my friends have finished university and left the city.

I feel at breaking point but somehow feel i'm just feeling sorry for myself. Perhaps the way I feel is my own fault.

Only recently have I started considering my life pointless and as a tunnel with no light at the end of it.

What do I do? do I wait to no longer feel like this again, as it comes and goes. Or see my GP and feel stupid as he sits their obviously thinking this isn't unusual and he is just feeling sorry for himself and that it is entirely rational to think the way I am due to the financial/weight gain/unhappiness with relationship situation.

[MsAnnThrope]

First of all, get a different GP.

You are depressed and need competent medical help not judgement. Depression is just like any other illness, can strike at any time for no reason. You will need a course of treatment, which will not be as effective as it can be while you are using other drugs. Recreational drugs = what goes up must come down. I bet if you keep a diary you will find you feel worse a day or two after your latest bender. You need to start getting exercise preferably in the morning. Morning light is very good for depression. You need to change your diet, stop eating crap and start eating clean, with an emphasis on mood foods such as avocado, nuts, and fish. Get out of your bad relationship and ignore your detractors - if they're not part of the solution, they're part of the problem. Turn of your electronica which is probably what is keeping you awake at night. Go to bed at a decent hour and get up early every day. Get out of the house. Help someone who needs it. You are young, your debt will be taken care of when you graduate. Good luck, sounds like you are on the right path you just need to take care of your health a bit better. Crap like this happens to everyone, it's how you deal with it that counts.

[maryanne10]

Hi anon.1988, I think that it's very healthy that you have reached out. Not sleeping well and not connecting with those close to us and using drugs are all red flags that you need to see a mental health professional for some assistance. You are no doubt a very bright young adult who is seeking to feel better. I don't know where you live, but all areas have good psychiatrists and psychologists, especially if you are near a university/medical center. Please see someone as soon as possible.....when you can't sleep, your thinking can become distorted and your emotions can get the best of you. Be well...stay in touch.

[artemis agrotera]

Originally Posted by anon.1988

I'm 24 - an architecture student... things should be good and I can see them going where i want them to. but it's been like that for years

I'm trapped in a relationship. I have a family that don't help me. I have £10,000 of overdraft debt plus my student loans, i've gained three and a half stone in three years, I don't sleep at nights and take drugs openly as a form of escapism.

Sometimes I feel like a walking zombie and feel myself being emotionally driven out of my own control. Sometimes I cry when the bathroom door closes, so that I am on my own away from my girlfriend. who albeit my best friend, I do not and will not ever love. But I can't leave her due to financial and emotionally supportive reasons. All my friends have finished university and left the city.

I feel at breaking point but somehow feel i'm just feeling sorry for myself. Perhaps the way I feel is my own fault.

Only recently have I started considering my life pointless and as a tunnel with no light at the end of it.

What do I do? do I wait to no longer feel like this again, as it comes and goes. Or see my GP and feel stupid as he sits their obviously thinking this isn't unusual and he is just feeling sorry for himself and that it is entirely rational to think the way I am due to the financial/weight gain/unhappiness with relationship situation.

Hey anon.

As mentioned, first thing is to find another GP.
Taking drugs, as a form of escapism has moved beyond "feeling sorry" for oneself. It sounds like depression to me...

It might have snuck up on you, but it won't go away just on its own. You do need to make some lifestyle changes.

Excercise is a really good first step. It might be difficult to wake up early to do this at the start, so even half hour in the evening is a good start.

[classic1956cars]

Originally Posted by anon.1988

I'm 24 - an architecture student... things should be good and I can see them going where i want them to. but it's been like that for years

I'm trapped in a relationship. I have a family that don't help me. I have £10,000 of overdraft debt plus my student loans, i've gained three and a half stone in three years, I don't sleep at nights and take drugs openly as a form of escapism.

Sometimes I feel like a walking zombie and feel myself being emotionally driven out of my own control. Sometimes I cry when the bathroom door closes, so that I am on my own away from my girlfriend. who albeit my best friend, I do not and will not ever love. But I can't leave her due to financial and emotionally supportive reasons. All my friends have finished university and left the city.

I feel at breaking point but somehow feel i'm just feeling sorry for myself. Perhaps the way I feel is my own fault.

Only recently have I started considering my life pointless and as a tunnel with no light at the end of it.

What do I do? do I wait to no longer feel like this again, as it comes and goes. Or see my GP and feel stupid as he sits their obviously thinking this isn't unusual and he is just feeling sorry for himself and that it is entirely rational to think the way I am due to the financial/weight gain/unhappiness with relationship situation.

Ok, First seek good medical help, a must ! You also need a support group. Join a Gym. Then you need to excersise as much as possible this will keep your mind and body in better shape. Start eating the right foods. I can go on and on. Anyway it's a start ! Good Luck

[1717Guy]

Anon,

Start doing things for other people. The best "medicine" for depression is to get our minds off ourselves and start finding ways to help others. Lots of people in need out there. Individuals, Church's, food banks, free clinics, dog shelters to just name a few. What talents do you have? I am a handy man type so I try to find people who need help with pluming and fixing thing around the house.

Also, try Melatonin for better sleep. It's in the vitamin department. Make sure you take a multiple vitamin with lots of B vitamins and take an extra B-12. It helps me greatly. My Doctor says 2500 microprograms.

Praying for you.

[Ilene Wright]

I responded to your post in the other thread you posted in. Here's what I said:

It sounds like your problems are situational, and not mental. If it were mental, it wouldn't come and go, it would be relentless and you would not have any reprieve from the madness at all. You may be suffering from some situational depression but you sound over-loaded and stressed to me.

I'm no therapist but the first thing I think you need to do is get out of your bad relationship. Don't worry about hurting someone else's feelings, you've got to take care of your own self and your needs. If you're not in love with this person and all you can do is think about is how to get out of it then it's time to do it NOW, you're not doing the other person any favors either.

Your life IS NOT pointless, you're just overwhelmed right now. Time to do some serious clean-up work in your personal life and focus completely on school and nothing else. And stop doing drugs!!! That only exacerbates a situation and it's a very temporary fix to problems that need to be handled, not pushed aside and left unattended. That leads to where you are now, which is completely stuck and spiraling downward.

I've been where you are right now many times and one thing I've learned (although I do have serious mental disabilities) is to remove ALL the things from your life that cause stress.......I mean all of it. Then, you can focus on whether or not your problems are mental or situational. I'm far from someone who has it completely all together so I don't claim to know it all, I could be totally missing something but I think from what you said your first step is ending your relationship, no matter the circumstances. If she is dependent on you financially you will have to leave her with some understanding on how she will survive without you. Remain friends, but you can't keep hanging onto a relationship if there is no love there. And for heaven's sake, don't get married!!

I really hope you can get past all of this, graduate and find a great job. You've got a ton of life to live and look forward to so please don't give up. Good luck to you, I think you'll be just fine.

[anon.1988]

thanks for all the responses guys. I went to my GP today and she's referred me for a free gym membership which may well be the catalyst for things to get better for me. I turned down medication for now, I wanted to give exercise a chance first - as a new way of escaping issues to get away to the gym.

I hope all goes well and Ilene W is right, I will start to tackle things head from now on.

Thanks guys, i'm glad you got back to me otherwise I wouldn't have actually made the trip to the GP.

small things like a free gym membership eh? hope and optimism. onwards and upwards.

[Ilene Wright]

Originally Posted by anon.1988

thanks for all the responses guys. I went to my GP today and she's referred me for a free gym membership which may well be the catalyst for things to get better for me. I turned down medication for now, I wanted to give exercise a chance first - as a new way of escaping issues to get away to the gym.

I hope all goes well and Ilene W is right, I will start to tackle things head from now on.

Thanks guys, i'm glad you got back to me otherwise I wouldn't have actually made the trip to the GP.

small things like a free gym membership eh? hope and optimism. onwards and upwards.

Ah, that's great news; might just be the perfect thing right now. Baby steps right? Good luck to you!!

[artemis agrotera]

Originally Posted by anon.1988

thanks for all the responses guys. I went to my GP today and she's referred me for a free gym membership which may well be the catalyst for things to get better for me. I turned down medication for now, I wanted to give exercise a chance first - as a new way of escaping issues to get away to the gym.

I hope all goes well and Ilene W is right, I will start to tackle things head from now on.

Thanks guys, i'm glad you got back to me otherwise I wouldn't have actually made the trip to the GP.

small things like a free gym membership eh? hope and optimism. onwards and upwards.

Great. I hope you start feeling better