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People learn this behavior early. I remember in high school, some guys always had stories about some new muscle car they had on order, but it never arrived. For some reason these people don't get "called on the carpet". Almost no one comes right out and tells them that they lied. So they just continue to to get away with b sing their way through life. Not telling the truth is lying and we should not let people get away with it.
Well I have never figured out how to not let her get away with it. I mean, I believe nothing that she says so I just try to have as little contact as possible and after we get mom's estate settled, it's possible I may never have to see her again. I used to point out when I thought she was lying and she wouldn't even get upset--she'd just make up 5 more lies to cover the first one or make such a stupid justification that we just gave up after awhile and let her natter on and then get away ASAP. What's weird though, is that she thinks that her life is normal and that we're all just really mean and she doesn't realize that we are as nice as it would be possible for anyone to be, given the circumstances.
But you know what really steams my top? When she talks about what a great kid she raised and I spent way more time raising him than she ever did. And then she gives me parenting advice on how to raise my kids!
So OP, here is my question to you: do you think these people believe their own crap, or that they're just smarter than everyone else so it's okay to lie to them, or are they hiding some deep insecurity? Or all three? I honestly can't tell with my own sis.
These types are 1 in 5! Generally people who fall short of the life they dreamed of lie to others because it makes them feel in a way like they are important. I did this in my late teens and early 20's. I'm 35 now and I have no problem telling anyone I have did nothing with my life and am pretty much a loser. Honesty is the best policy, even if that honesty is sad or depressing.
Well I have never figured out how to not let her get away with it. I mean, I believe nothing that she says so I just try to have as little contact as possible and after we get mom's estate settled, it's possible I may never have to see her again. I used to point out when I thought she was lying and she wouldn't even get upset--she'd just make up 5 more lies to cover the first one or make such a stupid justification that we just gave up after awhile and let her natter on and then get away ASAP. What's weird though, is that she thinks that her life is normal and that we're all just really mean and she doesn't realize that we are as nice as it would be possible for anyone to be, given the circumstances.
So OP, here is my question to you: do you think these people believe their own crap, or that they're just smarter than everyone else so it's okay to lie to them, or are they hiding some deep insecurity? Or all three? I honestly can't tell with my own sis.
I think its a weird combination...you should point it out to her. It does smack of deep insecurity on one level, and they alienate more people who get fed up.
In the case of this guy, I was afraid to point out his delusions, some people react violently when faced with facts, and he spent 2 months "presenting" me with his hard-sell, over the phone that he was such a success, etc....I actually felt sorry for him bcs he clearly needs Lithium or something...he ran away (several states) from his second ex bcs she wanted him to get help....
I cannot tolerate the lying, life is too short to listen to bs...and the people with these grandiose ideas seem to need to talk, alot...this guy called me every single day like 5 times before we met. Great sales voice on the phone, but IRL is a different story!!!
I think its a weird combination...you should point it out to her. It does smack of deep insecurity on one level, and they alienate more people who get fed up.
In the case of this guy, I was afraid to point out his delusions, some people react violently when faced with facts, and he spent 2 months "presenting" me with his hard-sell, over the phone that he was such a success, etc....I actually felt sorry for him bcs he clearly needs Lithium or something...he ran away (several states) from his second ex bcs she wanted him to get help....
I cannot tolerate the lying, life is too short to listen to bs...and the people with these grandiose ideas seem to need to talk, alot...this guy called me every single day like 5 times before we met. Great sales voice on the phone, but IRL is a different story!!!
Yes, I can't stand it either. It's a total waste of time to sit and listen to someone who isn't going to tell you the truth about anything and what's the point? And then because I know it's lies, or I'm not sure what is and what isn't, it's hard for me to respond in any kind of socially acceptable way except to let out a snarky comment every now and then like, "Your museum in NYC sounds great--I'll bet you have some pictures." Cha-ching, she changed the subject.
The scary thing is people like this actually believe their delusions, and will go to extremes to pretend they are real.
This guy had his own websites and an LLC for a defunct broadcasting company. When I mentioned to him I googled his company he became silent, lol.I did find out some of his sales reps were accused of financial fraud. Google is great for research.
The scary thing is people like this actually believe their delusions, and will go to extremes to pretend they are real.
This guy had his own websites and an LLC for a defunct broadcasting company. When I mentioned to him I googled his company he became silent, lol.I did find out some of his sales reps were accused of financial fraud. Google is great for research.
Yeah my brother and I were talking about that today--it's like as soon as you mention something like you googled it and they get real quiet but it's not long before they're back with some other stupid stuff to blather on about.
Its just funny bcs, do they not see what others can see???
{Reality}
this guys rent was 400 a month, it was a hovel (like jasper mentioned), yet he still tried to convince he owned a few successful tv and radio endeavors, it was beyond bizarre!
Yes. My sisters bf. Mr. I'm gonna make 6 figures before I'm 30 yet just had my sister buy him a crotch rocket cause he couldn't afford one. Talks about all the cars he's gonna have etc etc and that the only way to get this stuff in life is to screw everyone else over and be a jerk -off. The man can't hold onto 5 bucks in his pocket but he's gonna be making 100k in 3 years..Yeahh buddy okkayyyyyy (btw he's a mechanic)
Yes, I can't stand it either. It's a total waste of time to sit and listen to someone who isn't going to tell you the truth about anything and what's the point? And then because I know it's lies, or I'm not sure what is and what isn't, it's hard for me to respond in any kind of socially acceptable way except to let out a snarky comment every now and then like, "Your museum in NYC sounds great--I'll bet you have some pictures." Cha-ching, she changed the subject.
I just had to laugh. I've known people like this. I even lived near a guy in Florida that was ex-Vietnam and would tell anyone within earshot that he was **shhhh** a super secret operative...
My soon-to-be ex is like this. Apparently he was on a dating website when he lived with me. I found it later. He has his business plastered all over the thing. Pics of my daughter, too.
But what he is not telling anyone is not only is he flat broke but he has a LOT of creditors looking for him. In fact, now that he's conveniently flown the coop they are banging on my door.
I was with this goof for 14 years and I fairly sure that they know darn well it is all lies. Part of them get caught up in the tall tales, anyway. It's an escape I guess. They truly want to believe these things. But when I would catch him in a lie and he would have no "out" he would quickly start telling new lies to cover the others and you all have mentioned. It's some sort of weird facade that is there for others but also themselves.
My biggest fear is that the new girlfriend will figure out he is broke and boot him before I can get before a judge.
But it truly is a self-esteem issue meets pathological liar. I do think there is something to possibly being manic-depressive as well.
Good laughs, though.
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