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There is a good book, The Survivor Personality, by Al Siebert. It's about how being a survivor changes people, how life is looked at differently and how it is a one way street. I guess its not uncommon for those who have made it through a trauma to be looked at as 'cold' or 'different' by those who haven't. But his list of characteristics just hit so dead on. I reccomend the book.
For me the biggest loss is being able to dream about some plan. Now there is the shadow that you can only hope, but it could be shot down anytime. That other shoe that hasn't dropped. Everything feels 'temperary'. Ask me about ten years from now and its something which isn't even real since I don't know what's going happen.
Of course, there is this little core of pride that where others are still out there trolling shelters, I'm not. And it was because I *chose* not to. And I know, push comes to shove, I don't fade into the woodwork. Actually I feel a great affinity for family of old who didn't either now too.
Good and bad, you come out the other end a different person but a stronger one, so its just one of life's journeys in the end.
When I think of shutting down one of two things comes to mind. Either a defense method to avoid further confrontation or probing, or reaching your saturation point with grief, depression, anxiety, anger, or whatever is troubling you and coming to a complete halt. Decades ago the latter was referred to as a nervous breakdown.
"shutting down" to me is a defense mechanism for when emotions are becoming to intense and overwhelming, you go numb to avoid doing something you might seriously regret because of those emotions.
There is a good book, The Survivor Personality, by Al Siebert. It's about how being a survivor changes people, how life is looked at differently and how it is a one way street. I guess its not uncommon for those who have made it through a trauma to be looked at as 'cold' or 'different' by those who haven't. But his list of characteristics just hit so dead on. I reccomend the book.
For me the biggest loss is being able to dream about some plan. Now there is the shadow that you can only hope, but it could be shot down anytime. That other shoe that hasn't dropped. Everything feels 'temperary'. Ask me about ten years from now and its something which isn't even real since I don't know what's going happen.
Of course, there is this little core of pride that where others are still out there trolling shelters, I'm not. And it was because I *chose* not to. And I know, push comes to shove, I don't fade into the woodwork. Actually I feel a great affinity for family of old who didn't either now too.
Good and bad, you come out the other end a different person but a stronger one, so its just one of life's journeys in the end.
This sounds interesting. And when I looked up THAT book, I found another one that sounds even more interesting: The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes and Why. I definitely want to read that one. It still amazes me that I spent all my life on edge waiting for something awful to happen, and when it did, I kept a level head, I knew what to do, and I survived.
This sounds interesting. And when I looked up THAT book, I found another one that sounds even more interesting: The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes and Why. I definitely want to read that one. It still amazes me that I spent all my life on edge waiting for something awful to happen, and when it did, I kept a level head, I knew what to do, and I survived.
I have that one too, and its very good. I think the fear is the worse thing. Once you know you can get through then you feel differently about challenges in life.
I have that one too, and its very good. I think the fear is the worse thing. Once you know you can get through then you feel differently about challenges in life.
Maybe we just doubt our ability to handle "big challenges" in our life at first and this leads to "shut-down" for a little while...I go through this myselF. At first everything seems overwhelming and "beyond my scope" and abilities...I feel like "running-away." I feel sorry for myself and scared! And mad too! (Mad that I always seem to be "stuck" with everything all by myself!)...So I go into my "cave" and "shut" the world "out" and pout and refuse to "budge!"...Eventually I feel better. The sun comes back-up again. And I feel a sense of "power" about tackling everything. (Even though I still have some fears.)...Guess I just don't feel totally overwhelmed anymore. I see some "hope." And I start to make plans about dealing with things bit-by-bit. How about you?
I seem to have come here a bit late. Never the less this thread is fascinating since I can relate to it all. For me what has always shut me down is an extended period of stress. I stress out too easily. From much of the research I have been doing on stress(distress) is that it is very damaging to the body and mind all together. The more I read the more I am surprised about the latest research on the bad effects of stress.
I think I have a good idea what a shut-down is.
I've given up striving and struggling. I've said goodbye to relationships. I am uncomfortable with people who are high strung, unusually cheerful.
My drapes remain closed, I'm severely isolated, friendless, afraid to answer the phone. and lead a solitary , sedentary life. I experience periods of anxiety (Generalized Anxiety), I lack the motivation to do simple house chores, landscaping/yardwork, and things I used to enjoy. if I start something and run into a snag I just abandon it.
I distract myself from the anxiety, Major depression, and Bi-polar by watching a huge chunk of Netflix movies and sleeping many hours throughout my day. Physical complaints like sore neck, shoulders and shoulder blades, upper and lower back pain.
Shutting down for me is: When you suddenly feel that Spike in your Stomach and anal tract and it's freaking painful; you suddenly have the urge to take a bowel movement and it causes you utter annoyance to pushes you into depression and an unmotivated sense of spirit. If there were any artistic sparks I had before, they got flushed down the toliet, and I'm shut down.
Rather than feeling relief at the passing of a bowel movement, it's like my body, mind and soul are.... tremendously worn out. I cease trying to make an effort at anything artistic because, chances are the MINUTE I even think about opening up Photoshop, I'm going to have another stupid bowl movement and it'll suck all the life and joy out of me.
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