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Old 03-04-2012, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,499 posts, read 16,014,700 times
Reputation: 8544

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Mightyqueen...I'm glad you were able to work through your fear of death. (Compared to how you felt earlier in life.)...I've sure had to face a lot of fears in my life recently. Everything has been on my shoulders since my husband passed away and my son developed the brain tumors. I can't "hide" behind anyone else now or say: "It's your turn! You do it!"...I guess it's making me stronger but I could sure use a "break" and a vacation right now. (I'm sure you went through a lot of this after your divorce and you were suddenly on your own.) ..I haven't flown anywhere since 9/11. Guess I have "distaste" for all the security checks today. I don't want to be viewed as a potential criminal or terrorist. I understand why the security measures were put into play...But I just don't want to deal with all of it myself. I took the train when I visited my relatives in the Mid-West and had a nice ride...Anyway thanks for posting and sharing.
You should take the plunge. I did last fall to get away. The security is a pain but getting a whole new perspective can help. I do not like driving far distances, so flying is great for me.

Where I am is boring as Hades, even a small vacation can help.
Maybe even just a short trip to California with room service at a 5 star hotel. Its good to pamper yourself when the world gets too crazy.
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Old 03-04-2012, 03:59 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 5,000,543 times
Reputation: 7294
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Have your fears ever stopped you from making changes in your life? Or blocked you from pursuing your goals and dreams?
Yea and on a regular and everyday basis. If you tried and couldn't succeed and get over them then oh well, that's just how it is and nothing can be done about it.... People that say 'no,' to OP good for them but a lot of them think you are pathetic b/c they got over whatever it was and you didn't. Like I said, good for them.
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:02 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,330 posts, read 47,680,035 times
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i've often been a secret coward
from joni mitchell don juan's reckless daughter

Don Juan's Reckless Daughter Lyrics - Joni Mitchell
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:13 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,739 posts, read 5,000,543 times
Reputation: 7294
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
i've often been a secret coward
from joni mitchell don juan's reckless daughter

Don Juan's Reckless Daughter Lyrics - Joni Mitchell

what exactly is that supposed to mean? are you applying that to yourself or to other people?
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Old 03-04-2012, 05:29 PM
 
2,085 posts, read 2,975,605 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Have your fears ever stopped you from making changes in your life? Or blocked you from pursuing your goals and dreams?

Yes! Good heavens.... My fears have been both the fear-of-failure kind AND the fear-of-success kind. They were more limiting in my teens, twenties, and early thirties, and they definitely informed my choices and limited my life.

I don't stress much about it, though. I don't believe in playing the "if only" or "what if" game, when I theorize about what my life would have been like if only I'd made different choices. I can't undo the past. I do think that during my late 30as and my early 40s, I learned to not be so fearful. Not sure that my life is dramatically different without the oppressive fear, but certainly I feel more peaceful about my life.
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Old 03-05-2012, 12:48 AM
 
Location: southern california
50,330 posts, read 47,680,035 times
Reputation: 41706
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
what exactly is that supposed to mean? are you applying that to yourself or to other people?
for everybody. did u listen to the song?
fear has not in the long run held me back.
performing despite mild fear has been a daily practice for me, if i didnt do that i would have folded long ago.
fear is not all bad. fear can be a good thing. it can motivate us and also alerts us when there is real danger. its not something that is always there to be overcome.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghvJX...eature=related

Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 03-05-2012 at 01:11 AM..
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:24 AM
Status: "Happy Holidays" (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Islip,NY
11,480 posts, read 8,466,823 times
Reputation: 9304
My mom has fears of flying and going places away from home. But she trys and gets over that fear if she knows someone will be going with her. If she want's to see her grandson in Chicago I go with her because she does not like to go alone and fly alone. That's fine with me because it gives me a chance to see my brother and the baby too. She dreads going to social functions like weddings or party's. If it's family related it's no problem but if it's a friend or co-worker then she trys to think of excuses not to go, in the end she ends up going but the whole time she is there she can't wait to leave. She has driving anxiety too, she'll drive to work and do errands around town but that's it. She used to drive out to my house which is 35 minutes away but then she has that fear of driving alone at night and she gets anxious when it starts getting dark out. So, we decided that it would be better on the Saturdays that we get together that I go and pick her up, we spend the entire day together and after dinner that night my DH and I drive her home. She feels more at ease then. She always tells me she feels like a burden that I have to pick her up all the time. I told her so what, I don't mind one bit.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,144 posts, read 2,854,665 times
Reputation: 3337
Mightyqueen...The train ride was "heaven!" I went by myself and ended up making friends. We all sat together in the lounge area and laughed and had some great discussions. ..I loved the freedom of being able to walk around on the train. And getting off at some stops...The (formal) dining car was nice and not too expensive. Plus the train had a snack bar and a seating area downstairs too. (Great coffee!)...The seats were comfortable and roomy. Each set of seats had outlets to recharge cell phones...My cousin in Kansas loaded me up with food and snacks for the trip back. Plus she sent some of her (yummy) homemade rolls back for my husband and son...I can't go anyplace right now because I don't have anyone to watch my cats or my son's cats. (Don't want to put them in a kennel.)...I'll just wait until my son is more mobile and ready to come home. Then we'll "party hardy" and have fun together and celebrate his recovery! Hopefully we'll pack-up before long and move to an exciting new area near family and friends. It's too lonely here! ...Anyway I recommend train rides! I sure had fun!
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,144 posts, read 2,854,665 times
Reputation: 3337
lubby..It's great that you're "there" for your Mom. Sounds like you both have lots of fun together and shared interests...My son was right by my side after my husband died and we had fun together. Then he developed the brain tumors and has been in and out of hospitals and rehab facilities since last May...The 2nd surgery was the roughest and it's going to take awhile for him to be able to come back home..I've been out in the world on my "own" now for quite awhile. (With no companions! No husband or son!)...It's "just me!" And I've had to get used to being alone and doing things on my own again.
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,144 posts, read 2,854,665 times
Reputation: 3337
dreamofmonterey...I'm with you! I think we need to get away and spoil ourselves at times! I'm not afraid of the security checks at airports. I just don't want to "put up with it!" I don't want to be treated as a "potential criminal!" YUK!..I'm sure I'd probably fly if an emergency came up and I had to get someplace fast. But otherwise I'm okay taking the train or driving places..I like to "sight-see" on the way to my destination. It's fun to be out in the "middle of nowhere" and fun and interesting to explore small towns all along the way. (This is how I feel anyway!)
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