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I've been feeling like crap for a while now. All the signs of depression are there--not severe, suicidal depression where I absolutely cannot get out of bed, but not looking forward to anything, feeling hopeless about the future, thinking about death all the time, doing the minimum at work just to get through the day, not being able to concentrate, gaining weight, barely keeping my house presentable, no energy...
ALL of the symptoms were brought home to me today when I spent three hours sitting with an intern from Columbia University who was doing a follow-up on a psych study of 9/11 WTC survivors and their children. I'd participated in the initial study back in 2008, and now they are back to see how we are after the ten-year anniversary. I think these studies are important--I said from the very first weeks that the shrinks would want to be studying us for years to come. (I've also participated in other mental-health studies and an evacuation study. Just for the record, my basic advice is, "whereever you are, always know where the exits are, and wear shoes you can run in").
Anyhow, by the time he was done I was sort of stunned at my own answers to the questions he'd asked. I think I need to go see somebody again, and it doesn't really have anything to do with the WTC--I was ahead of everyone else I worked with in that I ALREADY had a shrink in place when we were hit. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was six years old, but didn't really get serious help until 41.
I think I've been in denial about how low I really am. I don't, however, want to go back to the therapist I saw for seven years. I loved him and he really helped me, but I am in a different place in my life right now, and I think I need someone with slightly different expertise.
Anyone else out there ever make a decision to return to therapy after having some success with it in the past?
If you don't mind, I'd like serious responses to the question only and not a discussion about whether or not therapy is of any use.
I have been to therapy at different times of my life, for different reasons, get better, terminate therapy, go for a few years, back in. Last time was solely to deal with the bully co-worker I had, it was two years of total Hell. My therapist felt like if I was away from her, I would be fine. And I changed jobs, perfectly fine. I feel so good now.
I was the same as you,did not care about anything. I dragged myself to work, that was it.
I know this all might sound very basic and obvious, so sorry if I am wasting your time. I just wanted to offer some very general tips that might help.
-Exercise for an hour a day, stepping up the intensity with time
-Every single day take some time to go over what you are thankful for in your head
-When "self-talking" (in your head) use a positive and affirmative tone
-Try to help others as much as possible - in other words, if you are acting like a victim, that is how you will perceive yourself. Studies show that people who survive extreme situations often keep themselves positive by taking on the roll of helping someone else
-Eat healthy and avoid any stimulants
-If you smoke, stop. I don't mean to make that sound easy because I do know how hard it is. But if you are truly committed to getting better, I think it is definitely necessary
-Don't be a slave to anything - self-control is THE MOST IMPORTANT TRAIT that anyone can have. If you don't feel in control of your life, that will cause a tremendous amount of anxiety
^^^no offense...but people who have never experienced a serious depression have no clue!
"Go exercise an hour a day"...whatever. How about, my goal was to get dressed by 3:00 on the weekends, and sometimes, I did not even get that done. I just wanted to stay in my bed, where it was "safe". I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Exercise? Sure. We all know it is good for you, but in a severe depression, you just don't care.
in fact, "helpful" posts such as these are annoying...
**OP: go to therapy!
We must do whatever it takes to combat depression.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
^^^no offense...but people who have never experienced a serious depression have no clue!
"Go exercise an hour a day"...whatever. How about, my goal was to get dressed by 3:00 on the weekends, and sometimes, I did not even get that done. I just wanted to stay in my bed, where it was "safe". I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Exercise? Sure. We all know it is good for you, but in a severe depression, you just don't care.
in fact, "helpful" posts such as these are annoying...
**OP: go to therapy!
We must do whatever it takes to combat depression.
Thank you both, greatblueheron and jasper12!
You're telling me what I already know, but somehow that's what I needed and wanted.
The other person who responded either lives in a bubble or is very young. I'm sure he or she meant well. But he or she didn't actually even read my post, or they would have noticed that the depression predates the WTC. I really don't need any "survivor" advice, geez. I've written and been published about it, and anyway, our employer sent us shrinks up the kazoo in those first months to make sure their work force was back on track and showing up every day so that they didn't miss a beat. And after three weeks the shrinks were shot to hell from hearing all the horror stories and they had to send THEM to shrinks. Really. I am not making this up.
But, just to make him or her happy, I AM very grateful that I have good health insurance when so many people don't, hehehe. I have to go on to the website and find someone in my area in the plan, that's all.
^^^no offense...but people who have never experienced a serious depression have no clue!
"Go exercise an hour a day"...whatever. How about, my goal was to get dressed by 3:00 on the weekends, and sometimes, I did not even get that done. I just wanted to stay in my bed, where it was "safe". I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Exercise? Sure. We all know it is good for you, but in a severe depression, you just don't care.
well said jasper, owe u a rep.
patronizing a depressed person is NOT a good way to help. It gets to where you dont want to eat, dont enjoy things.
best of luck to OP, not sure if you have seen this book but it helps a little, mostly cognitive oriented. So you do something nice for yourself each day and stop beating yourself up with regret or thoughts.
Not saying its a panacea, I got irritated when my dr mentioned recommended I read "The 7 habits of highly successful people"...lol I was like I dont want a business guide. Just my 2 cents.
I think some people want to "be strong" and feel that needing therapy is "just a crutch." And so they avoid it, assuming things will get better if only. If only I buck up and take it. If only I fight back. If only I buckle down and do something productive. If only I eat better.
But, when someone breaks their leg, they need a crutch. If someone dislocates their shoulder, they need to put their arm in a sling. If someone chips a tooth, they need a cap. And when the mind (not brain) has been injured, it needs a crutch. For mind-injuries, therapy is one possible crutch. Medication can be a crutch too. There's no shame in needing something or someone to lean on, it's not a weakness. It's a strength. It means that you're telling yourself "I'm an awesome person who sometimes has trouble and I'm not too much of a coward to lean on someone else once in awhile."
So go ahead and lean on someone else. Get back to therapy to help you get through this hump in your life. You might not get "over" it - you might have to give it a few good whacks with an axe. Or you might sail around it, and bypass it entirely. It all depends on the type of therapy you get and how you respond to it.
Everyone needs a little sumpin sumpin at some point in their lives. For you, for now, that sumpin sumpin is a professional who can really -hear- your concerns.
Re: newbie post on self-control. That is irrelevant when it comes to moods.
Frankly, control issues are what cause many problems to begin with. I tried to mask and control emotions all through childhood. It DOESNT work. Sometimes you need to just have down days, quiet day, days for reading, etc. Allow time for processing.
Mizhao has prolly never had real depression, it can be paralyzing and isnt something to be taken lightly.
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Agree, jasper12...
by Padesky & Greenberger, or 
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