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I don't think it's smart or healthy to walk-around all "bottled-up!" (Full of stress and unresolved issues and troubling feelings etc.)...At some point we need to "vent" and try to get some of the "distress" out of our system. Don't you think?...But how? And where? Should we try to deal with all of it by ourselves or involve someone else?...This doesn't happen very often but every now and then my son calls me (from the rehab facility) to "vent." He doesn't really say "hi" to me because he is "hot under the collar" and upset about something...I care about him and the situation he is facing at the time and I "feel for him" too! But it just feels weird to pick-up the phone and be bombared with an "emotional tirade!" (And I tell him so!) Good thing this doesn't happen very often!...There are times when I reach my "last straw" too! And I'm highly emotional and cranky and at my "wit's end" for awhile. (Until I calm myself down and get a "grip" on things.) I try to gain my composure a little bit before I talk to anyone else. (If possible.) I don't want to "vent venom" or "dump" my erratic emotions on someone else if I can help it. How do you feel about all of it? Thanks!
I don't think it's smart or healthy to walk-around all "bottled-up!" (Full of stress and unresolved issues and troubling feelings etc.)...At some point we need to "vent" and try to get some of the "distress" out of our system. Don't you think?...But how? And where? Should we try to deal with all of it by ourselves or involve someone else?...This doesn't happen very often but every now and then my son calls me (from the rehab facility) to "vent." He doesn't really say "hi" to me because he is "hot under the collar" and upset about something...I care about him and the situation he is facing at the time and I "feel for him" too! But it just feels weird to pick-up the phone and be bombared with an "emotional tirade!" (And I tell him so!) Good thing this doesn't happen very often!...There are times when I reach my "last straw" too! And I'm highly emotional and cranky and at my "wit's end" for awhile. (Until I calm myself down and get a "grip" on things.) I try to gain my composure a little bit before I talk to anyone else. (If possible.) I don't want to "vent venom" or "dump" my erratic emotions on someone else if I can help it. How do you feel about all of it? Thanks!
I don't really have anyone to vent to, but because I did keep things bottled up in the past and it backfired on me, I know it's not healthy. There are also different ways to vent, some healthier than others.
Because I have no one to share my thoughts and fears with for the most part, I tend to write them down. It helps clear things out and put things in perspective for me. Sometimes when things are really hard, I do talk out loud and sometimes I yell out loud, alone in my house. That's usually when I am angry at God/the Universe/whatever and feel so alone and out of control and helpless. It gets it out of me and afteward I feel completely, completely drained, but I think I need to do that. Had an episode like that about two weeks ago. I actually CRIED, which I was trained early on NOT to do, and have not cried very much throughout most of my life. However, I've noticed lately that the tears do come a little more easily these days, and even though the alarm bell goes off inside of me saying STOP THAT!!!, I try to let them come.
Mightqueen...Thanks for posting. I'm glad it's a little easier for you to cry now...Of course crying is no "picnic!" But we have to get the "crud" and "muck" out of our system one way or another. Right?...I view it as "toxic pollution" at times. If I keep it all "bottled-up" I could end-up with a bad infection and get really sick! (Emotionally and physically too!)...You should see what I do! I give myself permission to cuss and do the "finger" and whatever it takes to get the anger and frustration or deep hurt and sadness out of my system. Lately I've been crying like "there is no tomorrow" at times...But it helps! I've noticed that I'm laughing more and starting to get my sense of humor back again too...Anyway because I view my "stuff" as "toxic matter" at times I don't want to just "dump" it on someone else "unfiltered." (It needs to go through my "processing plant" first in other words!)...How do you feel about it? Good that you are giving yourself permission to cry now!
Hi C:
Great Post !!! Agree, its important to vent. Helpful if you do it alone in your own house with no one but the neighbors to hear you ! And of course, the dogs. When I get LOUD, they run under the bed !!!!!
PhxBarb...Cute post! Thanks!...My cats don't know what to "make" of me...Sometimes I'm crying my eyes out or obviously mad and upset. But then I'll start dancing the "***" and singing at other times...They probably gossip about me when I'm not around and call me a "whacko!" Oh well I'm sure they love me anyway just like your dogs love you...Pets sure have a lot of tolerance. Don't you think??
I have no problems venting. Sometimes I vent to myself and talk out loud. I usually vent to my husband and mom and sometimes my close friend. I find it helps to vent, though the problem you may be venting about may not go away or get better because there maybe nothing you Can do about it to change it. I still feel it helps. My mom has venting sessions with me like 2 times a month. She has things she needs to get off her chest that are bothering her and I am a good listener. It could be about her job, a family member or just life in general. She awlasy tells me the next day how much better she felt.
People need to vent every once in awhile....personally I vent to my son right now he's only 1 and a half so he listens and laughs and babbles back noesense, he is starting to talk though so I got to find a new way to vent but in the mean time its great cause no matter how stressed I get he smiles at me once and my venting becomes more comical then real venting because he just makes life wonderful no matter what. As for your son his venting isn't just venting it's a way for you to support him through a hard ordeal I've had many friends in rehab and it's hard. It can be hard to be the one they vent to but in my expeirience it also means they are trying to work through their addiction. I had to deal with my addictions (and there were lots) about a year and a half/two years ago. I didn't have money for rehab and never got arrested (should have been how I never got caught driving drunk/high is a wonder) so no court appointed it was hard and I vented a lot to my friend. Life feels 1000 times more stressful when first quitting so your end of the line probably isn't as bad as his or more so in his mind it's that way. It changes and he'll slowly start coping with everything better and vent less. At least my opinion/expeirience. Have a nice day and thank you for reading my thoughts take it as you will.
r3k0j ...Thanks for your post. Well my son is in a rehab facility to recover from his brain tumors and recent surgeries. Every time I say "rehab" I know people tend to think alcohol or drug addiction...But it's still hard for him to cope with all of it at times. (Especially when he has to deal with nurses who play "silly games" every so often.)...Great that you did so well with your recovery. Cute that your son "babbles back" at you when you "vent" to him! Thanks for posting.
I suppose so, but I remember when I had so much stress in my life, it was off the charts. I went off on anyone, about anything. Once, I remember going ballistic because a telephone solicitor called me...I went crazy mad. I remember that time of my life, when I come across people who are mad out of proportion to the event...and wonder what else is going on with that person.
Growing-up with a Dad who had periodic "rage-attacks" taught me how important it is to have boundaries...Geez! I feel all kinds of emotions these days. (Cranky, irritable, sorry for myself at times, scared, bored, hopeless at times, sad, mad and you name it!) ...Thank goodness I feel happy and "ok" at times too! (It's not all "bad stuff.")...Anyway when I feel "negative" or stressed (etc.) I tend to put-up stronger boundaries because I don't want to "dump" my "stuff" on anyone or "punish" someone else just because I'm having a "bad hair day." (Or having trouble coping with my feelings and issues and problems etc.)....My Dad didn't care "who he hurt" when he had his "rage-attacks." He felt entitled to "rip" me and my Mom to "shreds" during his "episodes." We were just "things" to him and easy and handy "targets."....And he didn't stop and consider his "image" and reputation either! In his mind he was entitled to do whatever he wanted and wouldn't have to face any consequences...But this wasn't true! My Mom and I weren't "things." We were people with minds and memories and feelings of our very own...Dad paid a "price" for "bullying" us. (And others.) No one wanted to be "super close" to him because he wasn't trustworthy. He was like a "bee" or "snake" who might "strike out" and "bite" and "sting" anyone around him at any time and feel justified in doing it! ...Anyway I don't want to be like my Dad! I want people to trust me and always "feel safe" with me! This is why I put up extra boundaries when I'm having a "bad hair day." I don't want to "act-out" or "dump" my negativity on "innocent bystanders" who just happen to be near me when I'm not dealing with my "stuff" very well.
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