at what age do kids/adults know about reality? (insurance, psychological, cortex)

[civic94]

I know, this is probably not the right forum to post, but I cant find a "life" forum on city-data.


I am 25, I would say I have made mistakes in the past, and in my teen years in high school everything was a joke, so I would say at age.. 23 I realized what is real life (what I can get, how much can I earn, people to avoid, etc).

How about your experiences? I can remember some kids in high school was really serious and took stuff serious, while I still meet people in their 30's that are just not "bright" and can even see the future/outcome of their decisions a week in advance (for example, they make little money, they would go to the convience store to buy 2 rolls of bathroom tissue for 2 bucks, because they just ran out I tell them, hey why dont you buy it in bulk and save 1/2 off, you can get 36 rolls for 18 bucks, you also save more gas since you dont have to come back 3 days later to get another 2 rolls).

for me, my parents, uncles, etc were from china, and they told me they matured when they were in their teens because they were poor, they have to work, save, survive, help parents, etc.

I would say at age 18, for someone that works in a hard job, would mature. other than that, for someone who hasnt work in a hard job, and went to college, reality kicks in at maybe their mid 20's.

[AnonChick]

You seem to be asking mostly about financial responsibility. Most people learn it, when someone teaches it to them. It isn't always a parent, though that's the most obvious starting point. I learned my first lesson when I was 8, and mom took me to the bank to open my first savings account. Back then, it was passbook savings accounts, with little booklets with several pages, and the teller would slide the most recent page through the thingie and it'd print out the next line showing deposit or withdrawal, and the new balance. Every month, we'd go to the bank and I'd put in a portion of the previous month's allowance. Usually it was just a couple of dollars, but I'd put in presents from the grandparents and birthday/chanukah checks as well every year.

Back then, the minimum amount required for a deposit or withdrawal on a school savings account was $1. And these were interest-bearing accounts, with no charges of any kind. There were also no ATMs yet, or home computers, so you had to actually GO to the bank to do any business with the bank.

We learned about interest, and bank accounts, and savings, and the costs of toys and playing cards and comic books. We learned about the word "afford" and whether or not it applied to our current situation and needs (if you can't afford it, you can't have it. Plain and simple.).

By the time I was in High School, I had my own checking account. I had my first credit card when I was 18; it was a Sears card, and I got it to establish credit so that when I was old enough to care about loans for things, I'd have a good enough credit rating to qualify for one.

This doesn't really have anything to do with mental health. It has to do with how you are brought up, and what you're exposed to at which age.

[civic94]

Originally Posted by AnonChick

This doesn't really have anything to do with mental health. It has to do with how you are brought up, and what you're exposed to at which age.

The first thing that I said in my first post is that its probably not the right forum, but I cant find the "life" forum on city-data. this is the closest forum to asking this kind of question.

[jaijai]

Originally Posted by civic94

The first thing that I said in my first post is that its probably not the right forum, but I cant find the "life" forum on city-data. this is the closest forum to asking this kind of question.

I think it's a totally appropriate forum.
It has to do with our psychological development and familial and social conditioning. This directly impacts our mental health (or lack of it).
That said .... hmmmmm, i think that children have a much clearer sense of "reality".
They are present, alive, their hearts are still open, they still have trust (unless they've been victimized), they're still connected to the realm of magic and the miraculous, they're full of joy and they're still free to express themselves without self consciousness and / or shame. They're still very much alive!
It's when we leave childhood that the soul oppressing socialization / conditioning takes hold of us.
If you mean by "reality" that which society and / or the world demands of us, we tend to wake up to that at different stages depending on a number of variables like culture, family expectations, financial situation, etc..
But that's just a facet of worldly / earthly life ... not reality in essence ... if you know what i mean.
Your relatives were forced to deal with the very hard facts of life at a young age because of their national and cultural and familial situation.
I imagine that they must think Americans tend to be rather spoiled and over privileged.

[civic94]

well I guess what I meant to say is.. at what age do people get that ability to think everything over if they need to make a big decision, like know the consequences first, then take action.

things such as marriage, money, life, moving, etc. Like when I was 18 I would do things on impulse, didnt care if i got in trouble, I thought I was invincible, that nothing bad would happen to me.

Right now, every big thing that I do, I look at the good, the bad, what will happen in 5 years, etc.

[imcurious]

I think you're asking when people develop common sense . . . and some people never do - but it seems your premise is that the "school of hard knocks" teaches you common sense . . . I think that may be true . . .survival teaches hard lessons, which you can then apply to other aspects of life.

The people who buy toilet paper at convenience stores have not learned the common sense of purchasing in bulk . . .or maybe they know, but they are just too scattered or lazy or drunk or have other impediments to do what would seem to make sense.

Some people have absolutely no planning capacity . . .they just live for today and don't worry about toilet paper until they run out.

I would like to hear more immigrants talk about this issue because are there people who have struggled and then end up being dumb? Or do they learn the life lessons from struggling?

I know I started working at age 11 and developed a strong work ethic, BUT . . .maybe I was just predisposed by my personality to do so . . . who knows?

[civic94]

Originally Posted by imcurious

I would like to hear more immigrants talk about this issue because are there people who have struggled and then end up being dumb? Or do they learn the life lessons from struggling?

oh I'm not an immigrant, by my parents and uncles were. yes, there are dumb immigrants that didnt do well and wounded up on the street or went back to their country, I have heard of them. some of them had a better life in their old country, they came here thinking that they will find gold on the ground, but only found out that they have to work 6 days a week and have a language barrier, while some work really hard and got nowhere (rent, food, daycare for kids) got too much to a point where they loose money every month, so they moved back.

Its a confusing question, I guess if i ask more clearly, at what average age does a person "grow up" and know whats going on around them, make decisions that are calculated, etc. back when I was in high school, most kids were really not prepared, even after they turn 18, I know quite a few people that made bad mistakes that landed them in jail, have a kid unexpectedly, or just got homeless because their parents kicked them out on top of them just thinking that they can be lazy, and their friends will bail them out when they are short of cash.

[jaijai]

The prefrontal cortex is fully developed by around the age of 25.
Planning and reasoning are part of it's function.

[ybflady13]

I think that it is subjective. It just depends on the person really. I am 24 and I am starting to realize how I should approach things in life. I want to move out of my parents' house really soon and I just graduated college. I am trying to figure out how I'll have to support myself and if making this decision will really benefit me. I think reality hits a person when they actually have the need/want to make changes in their life. Otherwise they are living like how they have been living all along in a fantasy land.

[civic94]

Originally Posted by jaijai

The prefrontal cortex is fully developed by around the age of 25.
Planning and reasoning are part of it's function.

Makes sense, I gotta say that I have personally start to think about my actions a few times before I do anything now, since Im 25 and turing 26 very soon.

is that why car insurance companies does a huge drop in rates for men after age 25?

oh yea, i can remember for women, they drop the rates when they hit 21, so does women have their prefrontal cortex fully developed faster than men?