Do you have trouble confronting people? Or addressing issues out in the open?

[CArizona]

Pawporri...Great that your daughter started picking-up her clothes and the problem didn't stretch on and on for a long time!...I agree with you about the need for discretion. It's not good to "nit-pick" about every little thing. Some things just aren't "life and death" and all that important in the scheme of things...And we can't have everything "our way" 24/7 when we live with other people. Right?...My husband always talked about how his first wife was a "neat-freak." He said everything had to be "**** and span" and "neat and tidy" round the clock. Sometimes he wondered if having a clean house was far more important to her than he and their kids were...He made sure to marry a more "kick-back" kind of woman the second time around. But I know I have some "weird ways" too! (Not when it comes to housekeeping...In other areas!)

[lubby]

Originally Posted by CArizona

lubby...Thanks for your posts. I always enjoy hearing about your husband and your happy marriage and your Mom and the rest of your family too. And the way that you go "all out" for holidays to make the day special and fun for everyone!...I was probably the one who helped my husband become a little more assertive at work! And with his family too!...He helped me learn to "mellow-out" and have more fun in life. He had a way of making simple little things so exciting and special!...I helped him "get past" all of the technical writing he had to do on his job and learn to express himself in personal ways...He used to read what he wrote to me on forums. He was so cute and proud that he "got past" his old "barriers."....Anyway I think that we have a lot of wonderful things to learn from our spouses! I know you feel this way too. Marriage doesn't have to be "hell on earth!" YUK!

We are one of the few couple in our age group that have a good marriage. Many couples my husband knows can't stand their spouse. It's a shame, why get married or stay married? I guess if you have kids which we don't it's harder to seperate.

[CArizona]

lubby..Thanks for posting. I think it's easier to bring things up in a marriage when spouses are "best friends" and feel secure about each other and their marriage. Don't you?...There is a sense that it will all "come out in the wash" and "be okay." At least this is how I felt about bringing up issues with my husband. Neither one of us planned to "bail out." We knew we were "in it together" for the "long haul." And we also knew that we had the ability to "work" anything "out!" So we felt free to be honest with each other...I feel this same way with my son too. Every now and then we might have a "flare-up" because we can both be stubborn at times and "set in our ways." But it never lasts for long and we "work" to learn and grow and "profit" from all of our "stand-offs." In the end we become more "knowledgeable" about ourselves and each other and it's great!

[Huckleberry3911948]

i used to but then i discovered coda.

http://www.sdccoda.org/

[Pawporri]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

i used to but then i discovered coda.

San Diego County CoDA Welcome

It works, it really does.