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Old 04-01-2012, 08:09 AM
 
4,875 posts, read 3,176,769 times
Reputation: 2679

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post
While the best revenge is "living well", if the opportunity arises to absolutely quash some abusive individual to their face, then you betcha I will do it. The social worker who took my child over the police officer's protestations that he saw no abuse, lost her job when I sued the State for false accusation of child abuse. The judge who participated in it thought he could run for higher office until I started a campaign against him and exposed him for what he was; then he couldn't even keep his judgeship - and his wife left him. All of this I did while living and improving on a quite joyful marriage and life.

I know that a lot of people think that I am arrogant; I don't really -oh, what's the word! - oh yeah, care. My DH and I have a wonderful relationship - a lot of folks used to think he was arrogant too. We have definitive black-and-white lines between what is right and what is wrong; we excuse no one, we pander to no one. We do whatever we want and accept the responsibility for it as well as the rewards (and apparently it is the fact that we keep getting rewarded for our hard work and efforts and planning that really irritates people - none of their "They're gonna FAIL!" predictions come true). How dare we be so happy, so content, so active and involved in who we are and what we do, laugh and make jokes and enjoy life, and not pity or pander or cater to people who say, "But - I can't do that!"? We don't tolerate drama queens or passive-aggressives who need and demand everyone else's attention for their poor, miserable, and mostly self-inflicted angst. How dare we be so - well, arrogant? It's just not right!

Yawn. Well, it works for us. Far from being a mental disease, it is the result of experience, hard work, study, planning, yes, and past failures that we overcame. We know what we know and do what we do because we have "been there done that" and learned from it.

i like your style as presented in the first paragraph of your post , your were falsely accused of something grevious and refused to take it lying down , the rest does come across as slightly aloof and superior and thier isnt much specific detail of any kind which makes any real point other than an apparent general contempt for those who are not as unappologetically strident as you are , good for you for being a winner but i think its a little unfair to denounce everyone who may perhaps have genuine problems which hinder them from making it as best they can
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Old 04-01-2012, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,179 posts, read 5,751,495 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
i like your style as presented in the first paragraph of your post , your were falsely accused of something grevious and refused to take it lying down , the rest does come across as slightly aloof and superior and thier isnt much specific detail of any kind which makes any real point other than an apparent general contempt for those who are not as unappologetically strident as you are , good for you for being a winner but i think its a little unfair to denounce everyone who may perhaps have genuine problems which hinder them from making it as best they can
Ah, a backhanded compliment! LOL

Perhaps you missed the first line of my second paragraph -

"I know that a lot of people think that I am arrogant; I don't really -oh, what's the word! - oh yeah, care. "

ALL people "have genuine problems" - including us. The difference lies in how they handle them - and those who insist that their problems are insurmountable or all someone else's fault are not worth my bothering with. My neighbor/friend with Stage 4 cancer who doesn't throw herself into peoples' lives demanding their attention, but instead is fighting her fight with her friends and family with a "stuff happens, I will deal" attitude, commands my respect, and I will help her whenever she calls, because she takes responsibility for herself and does whatever she can for herself. When she calls, she really does need help, and I know how much it gripes her to ask for it. Conversely, the person who laments endlessly, wallowing in their own personal pity party, because "nobody loves me!" or "I just can't seem to get out of this hole, someone has to help me!" gets a pass.
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Old 04-01-2012, 12:52 PM
 
4,875 posts, read 3,176,769 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGranny View Post
Ah, a backhanded compliment! LOL

Perhaps you missed the first line of my second paragraph -

"I know that a lot of people think that I am arrogant; I don't really -oh, what's the word! - oh yeah, care. "

ALL people "have genuine problems" - including us. The difference lies in how they handle them - and those who insist that their problems are insurmountable or all someone else's fault are not worth my bothering with. My neighbor/friend with Stage 4 cancer who doesn't throw herself into peoples' lives demanding their attention, but instead is fighting her fight with her friends and family with a "stuff happens, I will deal" attitude, commands my respect, and I will help her whenever she calls, because she takes responsibility for herself and does whatever she can for herself. When she calls, she really does need help, and I know how much it gripes her to ask for it. Conversely, the person who laments endlessly, wallowing in their own personal pity party, because "nobody loves me!" or "I just can't seem to get out of this hole, someone has to help me!" gets a pass.

" all people have genuine problems " sounds like a one size fits all , i very much disagree , thier is a wide barometer when it comes to the problem scale and not all can be defeated through sheer force of will and chutzpah and many personal problems were the fault of other people , im sure a victim of rape would find your attitude intollerabley harsh and judgemental but then i remember , you dont care what other people think of you , thats fine , one thing ive often found with arrogant people who are quick to inform people of how they dont care what others think of them , they usually are very keen for others to listen to their opinions of others
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,143 posts, read 2,842,200 times
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I have empathy and compassion for other people. I feel "bad" when someone is facing "rough times." I can definitely relate because I've sure had to face some "rough times" in my past and I'm facing some "rough times" today...But it's hard to be around people who get "stuck" in anger and self-pity to an extreme degree...Why? Well I "work hard" to "stay sane" and "rise above" all of my problems...Sometimes I have "down moments." But I refuse to let myself "stay down" for long. I "push" and "prod" myself to "get back up" no matter what because my family and my close friends and my cats depend on me to "be okay!"...My life isn't just "about me." I don't have the luxury of wallowing in self-pity for very long. And I don't want to anyway! I want to be happy even though I still have tons of fears and worries and unresolved problems etc...I don't want to use the abuse I experienced in the past or the problems I face today as an "excuse" not to be happy.. Yes I've had "damage" done to me. But I take pride in being a "fixer-upper" when it comes to myself!..Ain't gonna lay down and give-up! Or let someone from my past have "control" over me today. No way Jose! This is how I feel anyway!
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:40 PM
 
4,875 posts, read 3,176,769 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
I have empathy and compassion for other people. I feel "bad" when someone is facing "rough times." I can definitely relate because I've sure had to face some "rough times" in my past and I'm facing some "rough times" today...But it's hard to be around people who get "stuck" in anger and self-pity to an extreme degree...Why? Well I "work hard" to "stay sane" and "rise above" all of my problems...Sometimes I have "down moments." But I refuse to let myself "stay down" for long. I "push" and "prod" myself to "get back up" no matter what because my family and my close friends and my cats depend on me to "be okay!"...My life isn't just "about me." I don't have the luxury of wallowing in self-pity for very long. And I don't want to anyway! I want to be happy even though I still have tons of fears and worries and unresolved problems etc...I don't want to use the abuse I experienced in the past or the problems I face today as an "excuse" not to be happy.. Yes I've had "damage" done to me. But I take pride in being a "fixer-upper" when it comes to myself!..Ain't gonna lay down and give-up! Or let someone from my past have "control" over me today. No way Jose! This is how I feel anyway!
some people have had so much damage done to them , they cannot be happy again , its not a choice , if it was as simple as choosing chicken over pork , no one would be unhappy , thats why suicide is a such a wonderfull gift , its the one way a despairing person can retain some pride in thier own capabilitys and independance
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,667 posts, read 2,451,708 times
Reputation: 2937
Arrogance literally disgusts me. I cannot stand arrogant people who feel the need to put down or bully others, while always having to be right. I could never be friends with someone like that. I can tolerate a lot of negative traits in people, but not arrogance.
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Old 04-01-2012, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,143 posts, read 2,842,200 times
Reputation: 3328
irish_bob...Don't want to keep "going rounds" with you. If you want to be unhappy that's your choice. No one has the right to try to "steal" your misery and unhappiness away from you. Go for it! ... P/S: I tried to commit suicide as a teen because things got so "bad" in my house for awhile.
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Old 04-01-2012, 03:25 PM
 
4,875 posts, read 3,176,769 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
irish_bob...Don't want to keep "going rounds" with you. If you want to be unhappy that's your choice. No one has the right to try to "steal" your misery and unhappiness away from you. Go for it! ... P/S: I tried to commit suicide as a teen because things got so "bad" in my house for awhile.

i tried to commit suicide several times , im glad i didnt suceed as i would not be around to have found the one who destroyed my life , they will soon be reminded of what they did all those years ago and to reiterate , i dont intend to lay a glove on them but thats not to say they wont witness extreme violence
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Old 04-01-2012, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,192 posts, read 3,326,050 times
Reputation: 1950
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
this person harmed me to a profound level , what they did to me has dominated my life for nearly fifteen years and left me a shell of a human being , they have more than earned what they have coming

you come across as one of those people who view victims as having as much responsibility to deal with the consequences of abuse as perpetrators , i dont see it this way , the way i see it the abuser made the choice to abuse , the victim is not obliged to completley return to how they were as if nothing had ever happened , the abuser has a debt to the victim and if the victim chooses to call in this debt in a particular way , the abuser cannot whinge , they made thier bed
Like i said in recent post, the bottom line is, it doesn't work.
It won't relieve your pain.
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Old 04-01-2012, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,192 posts, read 3,326,050 times
Reputation: 1950
Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_bob View Post
i wont be around to suffer more pain
That's your choice too.
I'll be audacious and say the same thing i said in the above post.
It doesn't work.
It won't relieve your pain.
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