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Depression is a life sucking monster. If you want to be alone, be alone. I didn't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone when I went through it. And I told those closest to me how I felt. It's natural for the people who love you to want to help, so out of respect for them, check in once in a while just to let them know you're OK. But take the time you need and definitely reach out when you feel you need someone there.
ETA: To be clear, this doesn't mean you shouldn't get help and just suffer through it. Something is wrong, and like your physical health, your emotional health also needs treatment in times like this.
It sounds to me like you are angry and not finding an outlet for the anger. Bottling it up. Being cool towards others, because you don't want to let on, or get into what is bothering you.
Sounds like you really need someone to talk to and work out your problems.
Being angry and upset to the point of depression is going to affect all your relationships, decisions, actions, etc in your life in a negative way.
You need to find a way to work out those issues in a healthy way, to bring some joy back to your life. Whether it is trusted family, friends, professionals (psychologist, pastor, etc).
Bang. Checkered nailed it. If you can't find someone to talk to about this sensitive issue, try writing it down- it doesnt even need to make sense, just get it out of your system in a (healthy) way that won't hurt yourself or anyone else. If you choose to write it down, when you're done, don't read it, just rip it up, or throw it in the fireplace (if you have one!) It's a good way of letting it go.
Ok, I have a few minutes, so I'll make some replies. I don't think this should be in health and wellness, because it effects "relationships". I'm very personal. It's very hard for me to divulge personal information even on an anonymous message board. Let's just say that I was told I had something wrong with me that I never saw coming. Needless to say, it through me for a loop. At the same time, my gf and I are having problems as well.
I don't think people have to know the exact reason. All they really need to know is that I might be at my very lowest that I have ever been in life. And trust me there have been many!
I guess I just wanted to know what other people do when they feel so bad that they just want to lash out at others. However, I know that this will get me knowwhere, and only make things worse.
Have you ever felt so bad that it was even hard to hide it. I never thought of myself as someone who wears their feelings on their sleeve, but I guess I'm rethinking that one too..
I'm good at listening to other people's problems, but rarely do I ask help for mine. The Psychologist by the way was a professor. He was not my shrink.
I'm truly sorry I'm being so vague. I'm just still in shock. I'm still trying to comprehend it myself.
All I do know is that I don't like to take things out on others just because I'm miserable.
Ex, A coworker thursday was just trying to be nice to me, and I just felt like saying-would you just leave me alone. I didn't. Thank god. However, that's how I feel. I'm so lost right now. I've been through alot in life and usually find a way out of those dark holes; however, this time I'm not so sure.
Thank you everybody for your sincere replies. If I don't respond specifically to your post, don't think that it is not forgotten.
Depression is a life sucking monster. If you want to be alone, be alone. I didn't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone when I went through it. And I told those closest to me how I felt. It's natural for the people who love you to want to help, so out of respect for them, check in once in a while just to let them know you're OK. But take the time you need and definitely reach out when you feel you need someone there.
ETA: To be clear, this doesn't mean you shouldn't get help and just suffer through it. Something is wrong, and like your physical health, your emotional health also needs treatment in times like this.
It's not just depression, although I agree it is a monster. It's the news I received sort of brought it back out. Not too mention my relationship is going through some trying times.
It sounds to me like you are angry and not finding an outlet for the anger. Bottling it up. Being cool towards others, because you don't want to let on, or get into what is bothering you.
Sounds like you really need someone to talk to and work out your problems.
Being angry and upset to the point of depression is going to affect all your relationships, decisions, actions, etc in your life in a negative way.
You need to find a way to work out those issues in a healthy way, to bring some joy back to your life. Whether it is trusted family, friends, professionals (psychologist, pastor, etc).
Yes, I am very angry and don't know what to do about it. I don't want to take it out on my gf/ kids or even parents. Their old and can't take it. I guess I just don't want to effect other people, but I think invariably I will. I don't think I've ever been this lost. I wish I had strong faith, but I don't.
I exercise daily, but that isn't enough. I don't do drugs (anymore) or drink. I guess I'm looking for healthy ways to cope, but I am having a hard time thinking of some.
I have found the only thing that helps is connecting with your higher self or "spirit" or the divine, or whatever you might call it. That fixes every kind of problem, I think.
God. But you have to be one of the faithful. The crocodile would recommend Psalm 83. It sends shock waves from his snout to his tail. He feels like David, every time he finishes reading it aloud.
The a-religious folk usually take to depression pills and other chemicals.
yeah, TBH you lost me. too abstract. Something about "retaining character". I don't know what that means, but I am guessing it has something to do with your ego, perception of self, and sense of self-worth.
Being angry is fine. Expressing that anger is fine. Directing that anger towards an innocent bystander is not. I consider this more of courtesy, and social aptitude, than "character." It is not really a moral issue.
The thread reminds me of this radiohead video. They ask him the reason and he never explains until the end.
I'm a wear my heart on my sleeve kind of girl. What has helped me through the toughest times - my husband, my mother, my best friends, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, singing, screaming into my pillow, crying and letting it all out, watching some of my favorite movies, talking to a therapist (when I used to go it was actually the highlight of my week), acupuncture (helps me tremendously), walking, running, ice cream, chocolate... I think that about covers it. But mostly just talking things out with someone close to me is what has helped me through some of the bad times.
Are the problems with your girlfriend stemming from what is going on? Try explaining to her that you know that you aren't going to be the best partner possible right now - and maybe it's not fair - but you really need some emotional support right now to help you get through what is going on.
Best of luck to you. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with whatever it is you are having to deal with right now.
I'm a wear my heart on my sleeve kind of girl. What has helped me through the toughest times - my husband, my mother, my best friends, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, singing, screaming into my pillow, crying and letting it all out, watching some of my favorite movies, talking to a therapist (when I used to go it was actually the highlight of my week), acupuncture (helps me tremendously), walking, running, ice cream, chocolate... I think that about covers it. But mostly just talking things out with someone close to me is what has helped me through some of the bad times.
Are the problems with your girlfriend stemming from what is going on? Try explaining to her that you know that you aren't going to be the best partner possible right now - and maybe it's not fair - but you really need some emotional support right now to help you get through what is going on.
Best of luck to you. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with whatever it is you are having to deal with right now.
Thank you Dew,
I can always count on you for good advice. No, the problems with my gf have nothing to do with what I found out. We were starting to have problems before that. Not too serious, but problems nonetheless. But the problem I'm having may very well effect her. I wish I could give more. I just can't. The doctors still have to run some more tests. It's to do with my health. That's all I will say. It's not HIV, but with the luck I'm having, I'm very hesitant to say that (very superstitious). Yikes, that's a bit more than I wanted to share..
I've always been one to try to be nice to people, but I'm finding it very difficult right now. I'm not lashing out, but I feel like I'm heading for an explosion of some sort, either verbally or physically. Not physically towards a girl (I've never hit a women before) but physical towards the wrong guy at the wrong time. To put it simply, someone who doesn't deserve it. I'm trying real hard to keep it together.
I don't think it's fair to take my problems out on others. That's why I am asking for help. Because left to my own thinking, I am going to be in trouble. It's not easy for me to ask for help. For me, I am really putting myself out there. I just want to retain some small bit of character through all of this pain. Thanks for the advice. I would rep you, but I tried yesterday and I don't think they'll let me..
Again thanks.
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