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The best cure for depression, in my case (may not apply to others):
Watching other people get hurt (it sure stops you thinking you're the only one... how selfish)
Watching funny comedies
Playing pranks on people
Going for a walk in the sun
Listening to uplifting music
Eating a drinking good stuff
Get happy with your own company
I grew-up with a Dad who could turn on me and my Mom at times and say mean and ruthless things. (During his "rage-attacks.") And there was no "reasoning" with him during his "episodes." He pretty much "went beserk" and "lost his mind." We became his "enemies" during his "episodes" and not his "loved ones."...He literally tried to "rip us to shreds!" And he felt "good" about it too and "right" and "justified!" We became his "enemies."...But he was "okay" and much different when he wasn't having "rage-attacks." He acted normal and loving and even playful. His mind was "intact" and he didn't have an urge to "destroy us" most of the time...Growing-up I realized that my Dad had some severe problems and mental issues. I tried to push for family therapy when I was around 17 or so but it didn't work-out because my parents didn't want to admit that they had any problems..When I run into bullies and abusers today I know that they have problems that they've never "dealt with." And it "shows." I don't feel intimidated by them because they are not "okay." ..They look for people they can "scare" and "put-down" but they leave me alone after awhile because I don't "fall in line" or hand them "power" over me...I've only run into a few people who could be as mean and vicious as my Dad used to be during his "episodes." Basically my attitude is: "Let me know when you're done 'fuming' and ranting and raving and 'foaming' at the mouth so we can move on to some sanity!"...I don't internalize their "psycho" behavior. Or let them convince me that I'm not "okay" when they are the ones with the "problems. "
my dad was hyper critical of me growing up , i managed to rise above it , i litterally went from the frying pan into the fire when i went overseas to work and found myself with a boss from hell , it screwed with my mind and convinced me i was wicked , because of this false delusion , i made poor descisions which humiliated me and let my charechter down , i was always very pround and didnt compromise my integrity on any level , when your self esteeem is battered , you loose repsect for yourself and do thinkg you would not otherwise do , i cant forgive myself for certain things i did but worse again , my falling down was causesd by the viscious lies of someone else , this person convinced me that i had serious psychological problems , she used to tell me everyday that i needed therapy , ironic considering she twice said to me , i would **** myself laughing if you fell out that window , was standing beside a tenth floor office window at the time , a complete psycho , in the midst of this campaign , i often gave as good as i got but around three weeks after my stint with this company ended , i was back in my own country and post traumatic stress hit me like a thunderbolt out of the blue , it was like nothing i ever experienced before and all of a sudden i thought this bully was correct in everything they said , eventually doctors and people close to me made me realise this was not true but during this period , i set about fanatically analysing myself and telling doctors that i had serious psychological problems , i was not strong enough to withstand the hysterical ranting of an unhinged sociopath , im bitter about the fact that i was so unjustly treated and also ashamed of myself for being so weak , im not as strong as i used to be , i played sport all through my teens and early twenties , was a real alpha male type , ive completley changed and im now a weak self conscious introvert , this person utterly changed me
my dad was hyper critical of me growing up , i managed to rise above it , i litterally went from the frying pan into the fire when i went overseas to work and found myself with a boss from hell , it screwed with my mind and convinced me i was wicked , because of this false delusion , i made poor descisions which humiliated me and let my charechter down , i was always very pround and didnt compromise my integrity on any level , when your self esteeem is battered , you loose repsect for yourself and do thinkg you would not otherwise do , i cant forgive myself for certain things i did but worse again , my falling down was causesd by the viscious lies of someone else , this person convinced me that i had serious psychological problems , she used to tell me everyday that i needed therapy , ironic considering she twice said to me , i would **** myself laughing if you fell out that window , was standing beside a tenth floor office window at the time , a complete psycho , in the midst of this campaign , i often gave as good as i got but around three weeks after my stint with this company ended , i was back in my own country and post traumatic stress hit me like a thunderbolt out of the blue , it was like nothing i ever experienced before and all of a sudden i thought this bully was correct in everything they said , eventually doctors and people close to me made me realise this was not true but during this period , i set about fanatically analysing myself and telling doctors that i had serious psychological problems , i was not strong enough to withstand the hysterical ranting of an unhinged sociopath , im bitter about the fact that i was so unjustly treated and also ashamed of myself for being so weak , im not as strong as i used to be , i played sport all through my teens and early twenties , was a real alpha male type , ive completley changed and im now a weak self conscious introvert , this person utterly changed me
I know other people probably asked you this before but what good does killing yourself do if this person is so sociopathic? It's almost like she wanted to see you hurt yourself. Isn't that like allowing her to have the last laugh?
I know other people probably asked you this before but what good does killing yourself do if this person is so sociopathic? It's almost like she wanted to see you hurt yourself. Isn't that like allowing her to have the last laugh?
i can never be what i was , for years i didnt know where this person had moved to yet i was still suicidal , seeing as she was the one who made me this way , its fitting that she be made well aware of what she caused when i check out , this person is not hitler or charles manson , i doubt she wont blink an eyelid , she may not have been a sociopath , i dont know what constitutes a sociopath , she was certainly a control freak of epic proportions and her personality was enough to drive me over the edge , if it ****s her life up for years to come , i will die a happy man
i can never be what i was , for years i didnt know where this person had moved to yet i was still suicidal , seeing as she was the one who made me this way , its fitting that she be made well aware of what she caused when i check out , this person is not hitler or charles manson , i doubt she wont blink an eyelid , she may not have been a sociopath , i dont know what constitutes a sociopath , she was certainly a control freak of epic proportions and her personality was enough to drive me over the edge , if it ****s her life up for years to come , i will die a happy man
live for nothing
die for something
I guess I just don't understand why you have to be..."this way". I understand that material wealth won't give you joy, why "making it" by societal standards is worthless, why the way this woman treated you was devastating. I guess I just don't see how you as an individual, as smart, deep, insightful and incredibly interesting as you are (hint hint, i keep asking more about your life story) has to be...I don't know the word. Because the person I've been reading posts from these last few days is really fascinating in a good way. Captivating even.
I don't know the woman. But I know that very few people accept personal responsibility for their actions and I know you believe it will haunt her and she might think "I did this to him". Have you ever seen those talk shows, where people who were bullied confront their bully 15 yrs later? I've seen people talk about being suicidal, about wanting to end their lives, over what this person did and when confronted and asked for an apology that bully has said, "Why? That's in the past". See, for you it's so real. What she did was God awful and devastating, but I've confronted people who've looked at me and said, "Psh! get over it!" Look at all these posts here of people who heard cliched rubbish from sharing their story with others.
I hope no one bashes my head in for saying this but what are the names of the people who have committed suicide to get their perpetrator to remember them, to feel sorry? Their perpetrator might go to counseling and what would that counselor tell them? Because the counselor isn't there to make them feel bad about themselves. They're there to help you overcome. And who's to say they won't overcome? There's tons of people who've gone to war and come back and didn't have any symptoms of PTSD from what they saw. The names of the people I remember are the ones who survived and went on to be someone by their own standards despite their hardships and I see that potential in you and maybe that's part of the reason I keep asking you questions and I hope I haven't been annoying you with it. But I really do feel like you have that potential in you if you just give one ounce of energy to believing it. There's a world out there willing to aid you. I don't know how or why or what but it's real. Yes, it sounds silly and easy and foolish and damn near crazy but I swear, intention is a hell of a magic drug.
I guess I just don't understand why you have to be..."this way". I understand that material wealth won't give you joy, why "making it" by societal standards is worthless, why the way this woman treated you was devastating. I guess I just don't see how you as an individual, as smart, deep, insightful and incredibly interesting as you are (hint hint, i keep asking more about your life story) has to be...I don't know the word. Because the person I've been reading posts from these last few days is really fascinating in a good way. Captivating even.
I don't know the woman. But I know that very few people accept personal responsibility for their actions and I know you believe it will haunt her and she might think "I did this to him". Have you ever seen those talk shows, where people who were bullied confront their bully 15 yrs later? I've seen people talk about being suicidal, about wanting to end their lives, over what this person did and when confronted and asked for an apology that bully has said, "Why? That's in the past". See, for you it's so real. What she did was God awful and devastating, but I've confronted people who've looked at me and said, "Psh! get over it!" Look at all these posts here of people who heard cliched rubbish from sharing their story with others.
I hope no one bashes my head in for saying this but what are the names of the people who have committed suicide to get their perpetrator to remember them, to feel sorry? Their perpetrator might go to counseling and what would that counselor tell them? Because the counselor isn't there to make them feel bad about themselves. They're there to help you overcome. And who's to say they won't overcome? There's tons of people who've gone to war and come back and didn't have any symptoms of PTSD from what they saw. The names of the people I remember are the ones who survived and went on to be someone by their own standards despite their hardships and I see that potential in you and maybe that's part of the reason I keep asking you questions and I hope I haven't been annoying you with it. But I really do feel like you have that potential in you if you just give one ounce of energy to believing it. There's a world out there willing to aid you. I don't know how or why or what but it's real. Yes, it sounds silly and easy and foolish and damn near crazy but I swear, intention is a hell of a magic drug.
you seem like a generous and caring person but im afraid your flat wrong in your assesment of me , thier is nothing particulary interesting about someone moaning and whining about something that happened to them long ago , you have two honorable choices when it comes to dealing with heartache , suicide or miserable existance , ive settled for the latter for far too long , this person hit me like an earthquake at a pivotal crossroads in my life , i left my home country due to having had a troubled upbringing and it was a fresh start , was meant to be a new and fresh start , i returned home with my tail between my legs after a disastrous workplace experience , my confidence rocked , my dignity stolen , i was forced to live with a debilitating mind condition since and no matter what material gains i made , it wasnt worth a hill of beans , this person destroyed my dreams and hopes and crippled me emotionally and psychologically
I've always felt that it was my "job" to keep "fixing" myself as I moved through life. Geez I've had some pretty horrific "blows!" And some keep "coming!" Had a big scare in regards to my son this morning that set off a lot of "drama" and "trauma!"...But now I have to calm my nerves and make myself "okay" again! This is the way it's always been for me! I've always put myself through a "recovery process" after all the "blows."...I never ever want to consider myself "damaged beyond repair!" And I don't want to get caught-up in blaming people from my past for who I am today...I honestly do feel that it's my "job" to keep "fixing" and "healing" myself at every point along the way. This is the way I've always lived my life. My close friends are the same way. (And they've had to deal with abuse and trauma and disappointments in their lives too.)...Anyway I wish you the best irish-bob! Think I'm going to "cut-out" for awhile. Time to rest and relax and "recover" from the "trauma" I went through this morning and "fix myself" so I'll be as "good" as "new" again. (Or almost anyway!)
you seem like a generous and caring person but im afraid your flat wrong in your assesment of me , thier is nothing particulary interesting about someone moaning and whining about something that happened to them long ago , you have two honorable choices when it comes to dealing with heartache , suicide or miserable existance , ive settled for the latter for far too long , this person hit me like an earthquake at a pivotal crossroads in my life , i left my home country due to having had a troubled upbringing and it was a fresh start , was meant to be a new and fresh start , i returned home with my tail between my legs after a disastrous workplace experience , my confidence rocked , my dignity stolen , i was forced to live with a debilitating mind condition since and no matter what material gains i made , it wasnt worth a hill of beans , this person destroyed my dreams and hopes and crippled me emotionally and psychologically
But that's so not true and I'm living proof of that which is why I'm sharing all that I'm sharing with you. You're not your circumstances or what anyone has ever done to you. You're far MORE than that and your true self is INFINITE and ALIVE, not dead, not in the past, not in the future, but right here, right now. I've been subjected to color discrimination by my gramps, had a bad relationship with my father to which most people stated was my fault for not "trying hard enough", subjected to racial discrimination and color discrimination by my peers and teachers, ridiculed, dealt with bulemia, isolation, abusive relationships with men and had people state that it was all my fault, had everything I've ever believed about myself and self image TORN from me waded through the depths of absolutely hell and this all happened between the ages of 12-18. I was not allowed to have counseling because my mother insisted that it wasn't, "A part of our culture" and the only aid I was often offered was to hear, "Be strong." or "Toughen up." But I know, I really KNOW in the very depths of my heart that where there is life such as one like yours and mine and the others on this forum, there is hope. You just have to will it and there's so much to be said about that.
It's not about groaning or complaining. You weren't going to share your story and I asked because I wanted to know. If others have a problem, they can complain and if they don't, that's their problem. I personally am interested in your story and I do believe that if you allow your story to unfold, to work with who you are at this very moment (I promise you, if you allow yourself to look you'll see exactly what I see because you really are quite interesting and insightful) You'd see that same light in yourself that I do.
Last edited by soliloquyenlightened; 04-25-2012 at 02:21 PM..
There's a world out there willing to aid you. I don't know how or why or what but it's real. Yes, it sounds silly and easy and foolish and damn near crazy but I swear, intention is a hell of a magic drug.
People that don't suffer from depression just don't understand what one goes through. My girlfriend and I had a long talk one night because she just didn't understand why people just couldn't 'snap' out of it. I wish I just could do that, be happy, change my life just by saying "I am okay!!".
It isn't that easy.
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But I really do feel like you have that potential in you if you just give one ounce of energy to believing it. There's a world out there willing to aid you. I don't know how or why or what but it's real. Yes, it sounds silly and easy and foolish and damn near crazy but I swear, intention is a hell of a magic drug.