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Ooh, I just thought of something Bob--has it ever occurred to you that your plan could backfire in this way: Guy comes and shoots his brains out on her property. Police look into it but there's not really much to see. This stuff happens all the time and "he's just some man I used to work with--kind of a quiet kind of fella, who would have known he'd do something like this. Boo hoo." Unless she did something truly illegal that can be proved, then you know that's how it will play out. The worst part? She'll get a lot of sympathy from neighbors, co-workers, family members, etc. Even people who hate her will feel sorry for her and if she's the sociopath that she sounds like, she'll use it for all it's worth. She'll pretend to be prostrate with grief but in fact she'll be crowing inside of herself and it will renew her energies to attack someone else in the same way.
By all rights I should have been the kid who committed suicide as a teenager but I kept thinking I'd wait and see if things improved. They did and I never wanted again to do that. I know you're not a kid anymore, and I wasn't out of the hole till I was older than prinie so I know it can take years. But things got better and I got stronger and I've learned to take care of myself, and I beat "my" sociopath at her own game. I just heard a rumor that she's going around telling people that I'm not qualified for the position I now hold. LOL, if that's not lame b/c no one believes her.
i first considered suicide at the age of sixteen due to my unloving father ( or at least he didnt show it ) , i kept strong and went overseas at twenty , went from the frying pan into the fire , you can only take so much , all ive learned in this life is that never underestimate how much worse things can get
as for my former manager , i plan to leave a letter in her postbox , detailing what she did , it may not be enough but since i wont be around , it doesnt really matter if she shrugs it off , besides , i also intend to leave a letter in a car to be sent to my former employer who was weak but not evil , he will have to live with the consequences of having employed such a ghoul
depression is still one of the biggest medical mysteries. we still have no clue whether its negative thinking that causes the chemical imbalance and subsequent depression or a brain issue where the imbalance causes the negative thinking and depression. my thoughts are if it were the brains chemical imbalance causing the depression then it would never get better until the right med was taken then the person would be fine forever. this is rarely if ever the case which leads me to believe most cases of depression are purely psychological caused by the human thinking mind
i first considered suicide at the age of sixteen due to my unloving father ( or at least he didnt show it ) , i kept strong and went overseas at twenty , went from the frying pan into the fire , you can only take so much , all ive learned in this life is that never underestimate how much worse things can get
as for my former manager , i plan to leave a letter in her postbox , detailing what she did , it may not be enough but since i wont be around , it doesnt really matter if she shrugs it off , besides , i also intend to leave a letter in a car to be sent to my former employer who was weak but not evil , he will have to live with the consequences of having employed such a ghoul
Well Bob I'm sorry to hear that you're going to give a sociopath pleasure. We've tried to talk you out of this but you're determined to carry on and little we can do about it. Just do me one favor--before you pull the trigger, will you call a suicide hotline? You may have underestimated how much worse things can get but you have certainly underestimated how much better they can get as well.
Well Bob I'm sorry to hear that you're going to give a sociopath pleasure. We've tried to talk you out of this but you're determined to carry on and little we can do about it. Just do me one favor--before you pull the trigger, will you call a suicide hotline? You may have underestimated how much worse things can get but you have certainly underestimated how much better they can get as well.
death comes to us all , suicide is extremley common and not a big deal in the grand scheme of things , i take a philosophical view of the whole thing
depression is still one of the biggest medical mysteries. we still have no clue whether its negative thinking that causes the chemical imbalance and subsequent depression or a brain issue where the imbalance causes the negative thinking and depression. my thoughts are if it were the brains chemical imbalance causing the depression then it would never get better until the right med was taken then the person would be fine forever. this is rarely if ever the case which leads me to believe most cases of depression are purely psychological caused by the human thinking mind
The current thinking by the medical community is there IS no cure, but the right mix of drugs can almost become a "cure" , until another dramatic event yanks the demons out of your closed closet once more. I think most Shrinks think, because there are three substances in everyone's brain make up, that some sort of maintenance can be achieved by getting stability with a mixture of ,or a balance, different for everyone, its a long, never ending process. I only see my Guy about every 6 months now. I know my difference from a year ago has been a dramatic change, we both feel great strides have been made. I would like to get off all drugs, as I once was when I was younger, and, ( I believe) had the same daemons some where in the back ground, I think there are two things, number I some of us are lucky to have not been born with the problem. Its the only way I can Justify one person experiencing very traumatic experiences, but are never considered Third Stage incurable . All this can happen to someone else, just as bad and even less so in cases, yet, those people will never feel " cured" . cause its just the way the chemical mix gets sorted out. Luck of the draw, family history , that is the way I see it. The two lesser depressions have been identified, along with the source of the depression. These people can be cured, most are.
I tried to commit suicide when I was 17 or so. (Through an overdose of pills.) By a stroke of luck I was "saved" and taken to the hospital in time...But I really did want to "go" back then because everything seemed so bleak and hopeless to me. I didn't see any way out of my misery except to "leave."...I know what it feels like to be in constant emotional pain. (I even go through this today!)...But I "work" to "stay afloat" and keep picking myself "back-up!" Why? Well I guess I just feel that somebody needs to "care" and "help me" through "rough times" even if it's just "me helping me!"...My self-esteem was at an "all time low" back when I was 17. I honestly didn't think I was "worth" very much or "worth helping!"...I didn't know how to relieve my pain. And it got the "best of me" at one point and I thought that "leaving" was the only way "out" of my non-stop pain and suffering and "bad feelings."...I sure thought that I knew "everything there was to know" back when I was 17! I could be stubborn and "pig-headed" and very "defensive" if someone honestly did try to "help me!"...Anyway I'm 63 now. I've lived "long enough" to become a "senior citizen!" (With grey hair and wrinkles!) My life wasn't "cut short" after all!..And I've learned that there are always going to be challenges and "obstacles to overcome" and pain to "deal with" at every stage of our life..We can "survive" and even "thrive" (despite it all) if we learn how to "be there" for ourselves in "new ways." (In positive and loving ways...In "constructive ways" versus "going off the deep end" and "slipping" into the "destruction mode.")
Yeah, loves. I know a part of me would love to "go home" and some days it's more than a part. But I keep on hanging in there b/c I know that this is where I'm supposed to be b/c if I wasn't supposed to be here I wouldn't be here. I mean it's not like the universe just made some huge mistake--it may feel like that sometimes but that's because we simply don't see the bigger picture--we're just one little pixel. Life really can be hell sometimes, but at least it only lasts a short time--it is not eternal.
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