Was this a nervous breakdown (depression, medication, sleep, trigger)
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Today, I guess I kind of lost it or snapped rather. Something simple went wrong and I went into a fit of rage which started to make me scream,kick and cry uncontrollably for about 30 minutes. I threw things around. I hit objects, including myself. Then my head started to pound for about 5 hrs until the tyenol kicked in.. after i was done i felt drained and just laid there staring at the ceiling for a couple hours. What happened?
Nah, "nervous breakdown" is an old-time term for what we now call clinical depression. My mother always told us she dropped out of high school to take care of the house/family including her sister, who had CP and was mentally retarded, when my grandmother had a nervous breakdown. As an adult, I asked exactly what that meant: My grandmother could not get out of bed, cried all the time, slept a lot, barely ate, and just could not function generally. That's depression.
Sounds as if you had a meltdown, but I don't know if there's a technical term. I have experienced that. Sometimes one little thing is the straw that breaks the camel's back, and you need to sort of vomit emotionally.
I've been trying to get a specific defition of "nervous breakdown" for years.
What my "understanding" of what it meant is pretty much what the OP described.
From my point of view, I think a nervous breakdown would be closer to a meltdown than to depression.
But I can't say that I've ever found a true definiton.
I think I had a mini nervous breakdown some years back. Reality just came crashing in and I could not handle it. This was related to some guy who turned out to be not who I thought he was at all. To this day I'd still like to know who he really is, to the extent I even thought about hiring a PI.
Anyway, in my mini nervous breakdown I did not end up in the hospital, although maybe that would have been the best place for me. I just lost it and did things like wear the same clothes for days on end, sleep on the sofa, attention to personal hygiene went right out the window. This was a prolonged thing I could not shake. I honestly can't tell you what when on in some months. Things were a blur. Months later when I was finally starting to get better my dad went into hospice. That pretty much sent me over the edge. I am not proud of how I handled those months, but considering what I'd just been through I NEEDED a respite.
I think of a meltdown (which is what it sounds like the OP experienced) as something short lived and it is different from a nervous breakdown. I think during a nervous breakdown you just.cannot.take.one.more.thing. And it shows.
Sounds like you were having a physical reaction to something in your life that you can't control, and you had to just experience this rage before internalizing it. External manisfestation of emotional distress. Common response to situations that create complete helplessness.
Do you know what triggered this meltdown?
Once I completely over reacted when a tele marketer called...I screamed and raged at this person...not me at all! I never act like that. But...I just took it all out on this guy on the phone...I was in a period of my life with extreme stress.
My cousin had a nervous breakdown...she almost went "Andrea Yates" on her kids...but she called for help, and she went to the psych unit for a few weeks...and got treatment and medication. She was trying to be "Super Mom", and just could not do it.
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