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Lord there are days when I get down with this stuff and I've never been able to get ahead either, esp not in a career. The same pattern always repeats--I get a job, they love me to death, there is one person in there who doesn't, and either that person is a supervisor or a sociopath and I have no clue how to improve my situation so I go elsewhere, or at one point I just quit and was a SAH Mom for several years. Now I'm a TA with a teaching certificate and over 50, so I don't even think I'll be a teacher ever. But I bring myself up by reminding myself that I have helped a lot of people and during those years that I stayed home I was not idle--I homeschooled my kids and went over and helped my g-ma and other family members every day and did a lot of church and volunteer work and it occurred to me that only in America in the last 100 years have we been so ambitious and not all of us are or wish to keep up with the ratrace. I don't think that makes us lesser people, just people who don't fit in with the current paradigm, which is sick and dying anyway. Time to haul out my favorite story--you guys need it. And remember that those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music. Alert: there is some God stuff at the end so if you don't like that stuff, just ignore it and assure yourself that you are doing what you were meant to do.
Quote:
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfections, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work and you don't get full value for your efforts," the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it hadleaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father's table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister together and as God calls you to the tasks He has appointed for you, don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway.
it occurred to me that only in America in the last 100 years have we been so ambitious and not all of us are or wish to keep up with the ratrace. I don't think that makes us lesser people, just people who don't fit in with the current paradigm, which is sick and dying anyway.
Very well said. I have come to the conclusion that I do not fit into this era. But the consumerist/workaholic bent of these times is pushed in my face everywhere I go.
Now it's all "me, me, me, what can I take from you?"
People really do look down on you if you haven't achieved certain things by a certain age.
I have not achieved them. I have tried, but I am now right back where I started. And now I don't know what to do. This society looks like a closed door to me. I can't find my way in and even if I do I won't like it because I'm not into the ratrace thing. I wish I could find a commune where everyone it equal and we all help each other out. I know those kinds of things don't exist anymore.
Very well said. I have come to the conclusion that I do not fit into this era. But the consumerist/workaholic bent of these times is pushed in my face everywhere I go.
Now it's all "me, me, me, what can I take from you?"
People really do look down on you if you haven't achieved certain things by a certain age.
I have not achieved them. I have tried, but I am now right back where I started. And now I don't know what to do. This society looks like a closed door to me. I can't find my way in and even if I do I won't like it because I'm not into the ratrace thing. I wish I could find a commune where everyone it equal and we all help each other out. I know those kinds of things don't exist anymore.
I look back and notice all the places in my life when I tried to be 'normal'. I see how pathetic they were. I did love my job as a programmer, but not because it was a job that was 'in' and had/seemed to have possibilities, but because it was so utterly fascinating to me. But after the year and a half of endless pressure, I began to dread it and was actually relieved when I got laid off and realized I couldn't give it all my life. At one point due to custody issues, I had to have the perfect house. I realized I wanted it to be as 'good' as others who could afford to make it so nice, and spent way too much. And at the point where I didn't have to be anybody but me for anything, I vowed to do just that. Yes, not 'normal', and not ambitious, and if a project takes a year its fine, or longer. I quit the rat race forever and embrassed me as I am and always have been. I am doing loads better after leaving the place of trauma, but just as much, having decided to be who I am and not care what anyone thinks has really been the thing which set me free.
I have thought about the commune idea, but then they are mini societies and they never have worked that way. I think that's why they generally don't succeed (or go badly wrong). But being a loner I wouldn't fit into one of those either.
I don't really care what society thinks anymore. I just pity those who live so unhappily rushing after a goal they'll never find and if they do, will find its not what they wanted anyway.
Wow, I've only read the OP, but I could not help but say YES! I feel this way a lot, and even just a bit ago was thinking about this.
I always wanted to be married and have kids, live in a house in a decent place. At 35, I'm divorced with no chance of a man coming into my life, I've lsot my child and cannot have anymore, cannot afford a house in my state (or even a condo, or apartment in a safe area). People all around me are getting married, having kids, buying houses.
I've been trying to move to FL since I graduated high school, with no luck. My dad decided one day he wanted to live in FL and was able to buy a place there and is now just about on his way there for good. I'm happy for him and he deserves it, but I can't help feeling a bit jealous. He never had any interest in leaving our state, or moving to FL, until 5 years ago. As of last year he had his place. Me - I've been trying for almost 20 years to get there, and things keep happening to me to prevent it.
I look at everyone around me, and hate how their lives can move on happily, while I am stuck where I am unhappy.
i come from a big family --- i am doing ok .........but i still feel like a failure....... most people are faking it .......so don't worry about it .......to much...... live your life
I always wanted to be married and have kids, live in a house in a decent place. At 35, I'm divorced with no chance of a man coming into my life, I've lsot my child and cannot have anymore, cannot afford a house in my state (or even a condo, or apartment in a safe area). People all around me are getting married, having kids, buying houses.
Pretty much same situation here. Mine maybe a bit worse. Early 40s, had to move back in with my parents because my marriage failed. Unemployed. Can't see a woman ever coming into my life again. Feel l will die broke and alone.
Everyday see people around me who lives are progressing smoothly. Sure, they may have some problems here and there but they are always trading up. Everything just stays the same[or gets worse] for me.
i come from a big family --- i am doing ok .........but i still feel like a failure....... most people are faking it .......so don't worry about it .......to much...... live your life
Faking it or not they still have their own houses, spouses, kids, neat toys. Even if they are in debt they still have all that. I have nothing to show for my time on this earth and I'm pretty much alone.
Faking it or not they still have their own houses, spouses, kids, neat toys. Even if they are in debt they still have all that. I have nothing to show for my time on this earth and I'm pretty much alone.
Are those toys really what you want though? I mean, if you didn't have to worry about what anyone else thinks, what would you want? I'll tell you something else too--when my world caved in about 3 years ago, I signed up to do something I'd wanted to do for years but didn't b/c I was married. I joined a group that does this thing I wanted to do and met lots of people who have a lot in common with me and now I have a group of people to do things with, plus we meet once a week anyway. It made me much happier and it's such an uncool thing to do, but who cares? We love it and that's all that matters. Some of us are very successful and some of us are not but I never feel judged--in fact, I even feel respected. Like the ugly duckling, you need to find your group of swans.
I hate responses like this. You can't judge what another person has done to get to a better place in thier lives based on thier feelings about where they are currently. We have no idea what this person really struggled with. Sometimes the cards just don't fall in your favor in life. Expressing a feeling isn't wallowing, it's simply explaining how experiences have affected u. Who's to say what they are doing in life currently? For all u know they may be headed towards positive things, but feeling the pains of past defeats as they read this post. You really don't know the case till u see the facts.
So True.
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