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Yes, there are many of us and several recent threads on the topic.
I am an introvert and moved to a few wooded acres in a rural but beautiful area...alone. Love it! I'm around people only when I want to be...that doesn't mean I don't care about people. I just don't need the stimulation that others seem to require...
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Originally Posted by Trewq
I live in a large city and have always struggled with needing to be outdoors in some capacity, but away from other pelple. This has got much more severe with age and I have become more antisocial and withdrawn than ever before.
Not only do I fear people, but they also irritate me. I would love to be able to go to a park or area of wilderness and just be truly alone. I find that socializing wears me out, in the same way that being at work wears me out. I am generally miserable and feel alone and inadequate when among others, but I am fine in my own world and alone. The feelings range from mild to moderate anxiety to feeling suffocated at times.
Does anyone else feel the same way? I am thinking about relocating somewhere that I can be far away from others. Just not sure how to make that work yet.
I understand. I'm living some years now, almost always alone. For now I need life to be that way. I'm sorting out what has been a life that has left me disappointed. It was time to really step back and take a hard look at everything that happened, and everyone that was involved. Will I one day come out on the other side ready to be intimate with another person again? I don't know.
I would take a serious look at finances first. Then weather conditions, temperature and humidity, and figure out what suits you.
You can always go join meetup groups, classes, clubs, or other organizations to get your hours of interaction if you end up in a place without nearby family.
First things first though, realistic money/job concerns.
I would love to be able to quit society and go and live in the wilderness or something. Society and people are highly toxic to me. They fuel feelings of depression, loneliness, inferiority and envy. I don't feel lonely at all when I'm surrounded by nature and no human beings in sight. Yet when I'm around strangers, the pain is very real.
I find there is no lonely like "living in the city lonely." When I first came to Ecuador, I lived in a small village (350 people). In time, I knew everyone's name. Everyone always greeted each other when passing in the street. It was a rural area, so I had plenty of contact with the Earth. I didn't have to be social, but I felt warmly connected to my neighbors.
Circumstances changed, and now I live in a big city. It is still more common for people to greet strangers in the street than it is in the US, but I am much more alone. There are some beautiful parks here in Cuenca, but it is not the same as really feeling connected to nature.
Everyone has to find his or her own balance between human connection and rest and recovery from connecting. I hope that you are able to reach your own balanced environment.
I would love to be able to quit society and go and live in the wilderness or something. Society and people are highly toxic to me. They fuel feelings of depression, loneliness, inferiority and envy. I don't feel lonely at all when I'm surrounded by nature and no human beings in sight. Yet when I'm around strangers, the pain is very real.
I think -- I may be wrong -- that being around people triggers your real need for others. The real test is to be in society and around people and NOT have them fuel feelings of depression, etc.
I find there is no lonely like "living in the city lonely." When I first came to Ecuador, I lived in a small village (350 people). In time, I knew everyone's name. Everyone always greeted each other when passing in the street. It was a rural area, so I had plenty of contact with the Earth. I didn't have to be social, but I felt warmly connected to my neighbors.
Circumstances changed, and now I live in a big city. It is still more common for people to greet strangers in the street than it is in the US, but I am much more alone. There are some beautiful parks here in Cuenca, but it is not the same as really feeling connected to nature.
Everyone has to find his or her own balance between human connection and rest and recovery from connecting. I hope that you are able to reach your own balanced environment.
I envy you. I looked at Ecuador, in depth, for a long time. I just couldn't move there.
Cuenca is hardly a big city :-) but I do understand what you mean.
You're still far more fortunate than most of us in The US.
I wish you would PM me and tell me all the things you like about Ecuador. I'm way too old to make the move now, but I'm still interested in anyone who moves outside The US and loves where they are.
Ugh...
I have grown to despise human interaction.
The older I get the worse it gets.
Ive developed such contempt for the human race that its become a big problem.
I feel like I hate everybody and I know I shouldn't hate EVERYBODY.
I upped and moved my family from the burbs to the sticks, hoping that would be the answer, and while it was heaven at first, Im finding there are still too many people around and Im almost back to square one.
Ive been told I may have Aspergers, ADD or something on the autism spectrum.
Dont do doctors and probably never will so Ill probably never know if something is going on or if Im just a butthole.
I think -- I may be wrong -- that being around people triggers your real need for others. The real test is to be in society and around people and NOT have them fuel feelings of depression, etc.
This assumes the person is actually interested in being absorbed into the society. There are many who physically live in a society, but deep down don't belong, and have no problem with that. Sometimes they get called loners. And loners tend to be viewed with suspicion by joiners.
But loners don't generally make a fuss of it, and if they're pushed off into a corner its not a bad thing because they get left alone. Its the people who insist we all must somehow psychically 'merge' into this big 'one'.
We are all unique and even as multiples who choose something to gather about, and to belong to, within that subspace each is still unique and even more likely to cherish what is unique.
If you claim something as 'normal' and 'accepted' and try to squish others who the space who don't fit, you make it an issue if you 'belong' where done right its simply an individual choice helping define who you are, that sets you aside from the person next to you.
I'm in the opposite spot. I live in the boonies without a car. I barely see anyone except my neighbors. I hope to move to a bigger city with better services for someone with diabetes, an amputated leg, depression, anxiety.... am I leaving anything out? I want light rail and a bus system. Like Charlotte, 45 miles from here
I get what the OP is saying. I have lost a lot of friends over the past few years and have had barely any luck making new ones. The more time I spend alone, the more I enjoy it. Somedays I really want to cry myself to sleep because I fear one day dying a lonely old man. A part of me wants to be loner, but a huge part of me craves relationships. This constantly makes me depressed and I don't know what to do.
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