How come I feel gray? I don't know how to feel anything! (depressed, medication) - Mental Health -Mental well-being and mental disorders - City-Data Forum

TySky · 08-26-2013, 09:22 AM

How come I feel gray
I don't know how I feel about anything?
I don't really know how I feel anymore. Everything is just gray, and I don't know how I'm feeling inside. I don't really feel anything most of the time. I just exist. Alive but not living I'm not particularly sad or angry or anything, just really "gray". I've thought about suicide before, but I haven't done it because I was scared. That was a long time ago like 3 years ago. I feel like Im lost in a state of mind. I dont know who I am. Its sad really. Im seeing a doctor but I still feel this way

IDK why but I haven't consider this because Im afraid of blood and pain but Im very scared of the sight blood I turn away anytime I see it in person or on TV but sometimes. I dont want to do this either but I see images of myself (in my head) cutting myself with a knife. Again I DON'T want to do this but when I see a knife I sometimes have an image in my head of me doing this. I wonder what thats all about? Does that mean I want to do it in my subconscious mind? Now I havent told my doctor about Ill feel like a psycho!

The only "self harm" Im doing and had been doing is scalp picking my head it relieves me have doing it since I was like 10 or 11 but anyways it cuts the anxiety for me but there are negatives you can have hair loss and your scalp could be damaged with scars

I still do it but Im trying to stop. I thought about putting gloves on my hands but I think it looks weird on me! Rubber bands?

formy4kids · 10-06-2013, 11:24 AM

I guess I'm wondering if u have been prescribed any new medications that are causing u to feel this way. Or causing u to not really be able to feel at all, except numbness.
Do u think u are depressed?

purehuman · 10-25-2013, 05:12 PM

TySky...do you live by yourself?..believe me when I say there are many people who would leave you with little time to think of self harming. You could see how much they need you, and even depend on you. It sounds to me like you don't have any one who appreciates you. You could be of such help to the poor and needy, and you'd realize just how special you are. Have you thought of volunteering somewhere?