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Have you two thought about getting a puppy? When I was dealing with intense grief of losing my late boyfriend to suicide, my dogs and my brothers' dogs have kept me company. Dogs are very healing animal.
They give you unconditional love.
Share with you some pictures of my and my brothers' dogs
Take care you.
hope your husband is doing okay today. He sounds like a very peaceful wonderful man.
My brother's two dogs
My dog
my and my other brother's dog
Here is a link about dogs healing veterans dealing with worst case of PTSD
Have you two thought about getting a puppy? When I was dealing with intense grief of losing my late boyfriend to suicide, my dogs and my brothers' dogs have kept me company. Dogs are very healing animal.
They give you unconditional love.
Share with you some pictures of my and my brothers' dogs
Take care you.
hope your husband is doing okay today. He sounds like a very peaceful wonderful man.
My brother's two dogs
My dog
my and my other brother's dog
Here is a link about dogs healing veterans dealing with worst case of PTSD
What a beautiful post, thank you for that lily. I have benefitted so much from my dogs, and pitbulls happen to be favorite breed. They are so misunderstood. I have a white one, a fifty lb. spotted tank, similar to that puppy. She brings us so much joy. She is a constant source of entertainment and mutual devotion.
I am very sorry to hear of your husband's circumstances.
I also served in Kosovo. I know what happened there. There are memories I also cannot delete from my minds eye. I didn't go through what your husband did, but I saw enough to know what he went through.
I have several friends with various stages of PTSD as well as relatives from the Viet Nam war. War changes everyone involved, make no mistake.
When I came home I couldn't walk on grass because of there being so many mines and unexploded ordinance that were deployed in Kosovo during the war.
I have no magic potion or pill that can change your husband back to who he was before the war, he will never be that man again.
That said, it doesn't mean he could never heal, but it won't be an easy path for either of you. He has to be able to let loose of his demons. It sounds like right now all his attention is focused inward, he needs to bring the horrors out in the open and face them, or they will always control him.
I have gone through this process with several friends, it is painful, it is the hardest thing you can do, but sometimes if you can find someone with a similar background that he can talk to, he can start to heal.
It is nearly impossible for some men to talk about their experiences to their wives because being captured and tortured can make them feel like less of a man, that they lost control and couldn't do anything about it, they were powerless and it shakes them to the very foundations of their souls.
They have to realize that no matter what happened, it wasn't their fault, they couldn't change the people that held them, they had no way to change what happened. They need to stop blaming themselves for things they couldn't control.
They can't speak of these things to their wives because they fear appearing weak to their woman. They don't want to lose their manhood or respect of the women they love.
It is hard for women to understand, because it is so alien a concept to them. The closest thing I can think of that would effect a woman similarly is rape.
A soldier is just a soldier. You cannot demand that they do more than what they are capible of. They are still flesh and blood, they still have a mind that can carry worse scars than their bodies do.
But faith, and love and patience go a long way. If he is willing to try and come to grips with what happened, make his peace with it, the healing can start.
Reach out to former soldiers who live in your village or close by. See if they can help.
It is easier to talk to someone with similar experiences, that doesn't judge. Someone that will listen to them, cry with them, and just be there for them. It can be a way to start the process.
I wish you good luck, and offer my little prayer for all servicemen and women everywhere.
Have you two thought about getting a puppy? When I was dealing with intense grief of losing my late boyfriend to suicide, my dogs and my brothers' dogs have kept me company. Dogs are very healing animal.
They give you unconditional love.
Share with you some pictures of my and my brothers' dogs
Take care you.
hope your husband is doing okay today. He sounds like a very peaceful wonderful man.
My brother's two dogs
My dog
my and my other brother's dog
Here is a link about dogs healing veterans dealing with worst case of PTSD
We have dog. My husband takes his dogs to pastor the sheep in to the mountains. That's his favorite part of the day at summer. He likes to be alone with the sheep and dog in the mountain.
Thank you for sharing your pictures, very cute dogs.
I am very sorry to hear of your husband's circumstances.
I also served in Kosovo. I know what happened there. There are memories I also cannot delete from my minds eye. I didn't go through what your husband did, but I saw enough to know what he went through.
I have several friends with various stages of PTSD as well as relatives from the Viet Nam war. War changes everyone involved, make no mistake.
When I came home I couldn't walk on grass because of there being so many mines and unexploded ordinance that were deployed in Kosovo during the war.
I have no magic potion or pill that can change your husband back to who he was before the war, he will never be that man again.
That said, it doesn't mean he could never heal, but it won't be an easy path for either of you. He has to be able to let loose of his demons. It sounds like right now all his attention is focused inward, he needs to bring the horrors out in the open and face them, or they will always control him.
I have gone through this process with several friends, it is painful, it is the hardest thing you can do, but sometimes if you can find someone with a similar background that he can talk to, he can start to heal.
It is nearly impossible for some men to talk about their experiences to their wives because being captured and tortured can make them feel like less of a man, that they lost control and couldn't do anything about it, they were powerless and it shakes them to the very foundations of their souls.
They have to realize that no matter what happened, it wasn't their fault, they couldn't change the people that held them, they had no way to change what happened. They need to stop blaming themselves for things they couldn't control.
They can't speak of these things to their wives because they fear appearing weak to their woman. They don't want to lose their manhood or respect of the women they love.
It is hard for women to understand, because it is so alien a concept to them. The closest thing I can think of that would effect a woman similarly is rape.
A soldier is just a soldier. You cannot demand that they do more than what they are capible of. They are still flesh and blood, they still have a mind that can carry worse scars than their bodies do.
But faith, and love and patience go a long way. If he is willing to try and come to grips with what happened, make his peace with it, the healing can start.
Reach out to former soldiers who live in your village or close by. See if they can help.
It is easier to talk to someone with similar experiences, that doesn't judge. Someone that will listen to them, cry with them, and just be there for them. It can be a way to start the process.
I wish you good luck, and offer my little prayer for all servicemen and women everywhere.
MtSilvertip
My husband doesn't know that he confessed to me that he was raped. He was drunk when he told me that. He doesn't like alcohol to drink, but when his depression and anxiety are too strong, doctors told me to make my husband drunk, and i had to do that few times. Then he told me what he hides from me deeply.
He doesn't like to talk about his horrors with anyone, he hardly spoke about them with me. And because most of Serbian men were in wars in the 1990s, when they start to talk about it, he just leaves.
My husband doesn't know that he confessed to me that he was raped. He was drunk when he told me that. He doesn't like alcohol to drink, but when his depression and anxiety are too strong, doctors told me to make my husband drunk, and i had to do that few times. Then he told me what he hides from me deeply.
He doesn't like to talk about his horrors with anyone, he hardly spoke about them with me. And because most of Serbian men were in wars in the 1990s, when they start to talk about it, he just leaves.
I don't recall if you have answered this already. Have you discussed the idea of having a child with your husband?
Okay, then what are your reasons for not doing so? Sounds like you have a wonderful support sytem, with plenty of family to help you.
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