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I wanted to run something by some other people that is one piece in a larger process I went through a few years ago (a custody case).
Several years ago I went to a psychologist (voluntarily) for about 3-4 months maybe 6-7 sessions. He was a ph.d. with a full time day job who did therapy nights and weekends for supplemental income. He was clearly "qualified" and very intelligent but he was very spacey and seemed to be "half there". Around my third session I was in the waiting room and three of us realized we were all there to see him at the same time (he had triple booked). Two of us bowed out. Things like this continued ...
After the triple booking something else happened and I emailed him and said that I needed to find someone else, that I felt like I was nearing acute crisis and he was cancelling, triple booking, etc. He wrote back and said he would do a better job, he wanted to work with me.
Then a few sessions later, he got something really wrong ... he referenced my age but he was 6 years too high. I sort of put my head down in my lap. I thought of just walking out. I left that day and didn't come back. We both knew it was "over". I went on to find a therapist I worked with more successfully.
A couple few years later my records were subpoenaed for a custody case. When I had left that day, he had TYPED UP a 3-4 page diatribe about me stating that I was blaming others, refusing to accept responsibility for my situation, etc. Now, that might have been true, but it was a two way street: I had really lost confidence in his ability to help me. Even if I was in a state of blame and denial, it was a process, and he wasn't really the person to help me ....
So my question is this: was it appropriate for him to write this? I wasn't coming back, it had no audience, it served no therapeutic purpose. Was it written to make him feel better, to cover himself legally, to make himself look better in the eyes of his partners in the practice? Later it ended up being damaging in my custody case, but when he conformed to the subpoena, he didn't include the email in which I said I needed to find someone else because he was triple booking, mixing up facts, etc. Just curious what others might think ...
The "nice" thing is that my ex-husband tried to get him to testify against me and he refused. He left a message on my attorney's voicemail saying I was a "lovely person" and he had nothing against me.
Last edited by blossom4792; 03-20-2014 at 07:54 AM..
He did what he was supposed to do which is keep good records and write out his professional opinion. Patients almost never see these- you did only because they were supoenaed.
Nobody wants to really get an assessment of themselves, but you'll have to take it as his considered observations (learn from it?) and move on.
Its over. Likely your recollections of the situation have changed over time also. From your post, it doesnt seem like someone getting your age wrong would be a reason to discontinue therapy. I am sure you had good reason at the time but some of the subtlety of the situation is lost now. If you werent a good fit, you werent a good fit.
Maybe you WEREN'T taking responsibility, maybe you were, but those were his impressions at the time. Therapists are human just like everyone else, and there is going to be some subjectivity in all of their notes/impressions.
Yes, its over, BUT.... its too bad you had to see his personal opinions of you written down on paper. Just think about it this way: Was he really an ethical psychologist if he were booking 3 clients at a time? NO. He was doing this for the money, in case 2 of those clients were no-shows. Covering his ass so to speak. Paying HIS bills. And he was obviously angry at You because you wanted to leave his practice.
I have had this happen to me with a psychiatrist who was furious at me and wrote a scathing letter with threats and misinformation. You know what? I tore it up and never looked back. Which is what you need to do !!!
I wanted to run something by some other people that is one piece in a larger process I went through a few years ago (a custody case).
Several years ago I went to a psychologist (voluntarily) for about 3-4 months maybe 6-7 sessions. He was a ph.d. with a full time day job who did therapy nights and weekends for supplemental income. He was clearly "qualified" and very intelligent but he was very spacey and seemed to be "half there". Around my third session I was in the waiting room and three of us realized we were all there to see him at the same time (he had triple booked). Two of us bowed out. Things like this continued ...
After the triple booking something else happened and I emailed him and said that I needed to find someone else, that I felt like I was nearing acute crisis and he was cancelling, triple booking, etc. He wrote back and said he would do a better job, he wanted to work with me.
Then a few sessions later, he got something really wrong ... he referenced my age but he was 6 years too high. I sort of put my head down in my lap. I thought of just walking out. I left that day and didn't come back. We both knew it was "over". I went on to find a therapist I worked with more successfully.
A couple few years later my records were subpoenaed for a custody case. When I had left that day, he had TYPED UP a 3-4 page diatribe about me stating that I was blaming others, refusing to accept responsibility for my situation, etc. Now, that might have been true, but it was a two way street: I had really lost confidence in his ability to help me. Even if I was in a state of blame and denial, it was a process, and he wasn't really the person to help me ....
So my question is this: was it appropriate for him to write this? I wasn't coming back, it had no audience, it served no therapeutic purpose. Was it written to make him feel better, to cover himself legally, to make himself look better in the eyes of his partners in the practice? Later it ended up being damaging in my custody case, but when he conformed to the subpoena, he didn't include the email in which I said I needed to find someone else because he was triple booking, mixing up facts, etc. Just curious what others might think ...
The "nice" thing is that my ex-husband tried to get him to testify against me and he refused. He left a message on my attorney's voicemail saying I was a "lovely person" and he had nothing against me.
I am going to agree with you. His behavior was unethical and inappropriate.
Triple booking? Please. That would have been enough for me.
And getting your age THAT wrong? Psychologists are paid to listen and remember.
He gave you a good reference. Probably just didn't want to get involved. He sounds selfish and lazy.
I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely person, though.
My reason for bringing it up is that I am interested in writing something up about ethics and privacy in general (in the context of therapy). I mean, I went to therapy to help myself and now my ex-husband has a file on his computer desktop entitled "[ex-wife's] Therapy Records". He didn't go to therapy so he left no paper trail.
So I am exploring some of the issues that came up.
Most of the doctors/therapists included all emails also when they responded to the subpoenas, so in hindsight it's interesting that he omitted the email where I told him I appreciated his help, but I needed someone who had more time and availability. And the age thing was really the final straw, in addition to many professional lapses. I mean, he would give me the breakdown of how much he earned from each person's therapy based on insurance reimbursements.
There were many other issues, but I do think it is important to find someone who is protective of their patients records. I have met a few extremely cautious types, and they typically have learned through experience that the diagnostic code they select, or notes they jot down, can affect someone's security clearance, custody, employment, etc. If it's court mandated, fine. If someone does something reportable, fine.
Protection of records is part of confidentiality and the law. He could only release those records with your written consent, unless there is a duty to warn.
I'm a therapist and I have never written notes like that. Our notes are meant to remind us of what we did in the last session. I keep mine broad and objective. Attorneys don't like mine, but I'm not keeping records for THEM.
I do think some ethics were breached here. He wasn't fully present in the sessions. The age thing is not a big deal.
Protection of records is part of confidentiality and the law. He could only release those records with your written consent, unless there is a duty to warn.
I'm a therapist and I have never written notes like that. Our notes are meant to remind us of what we did in the last session. I keep mine broad and objective. Attorneys don't like mine, but I'm not keeping records for THEM.
I do think some ethics were breached here. He wasn't fully present in the sessions. The age thing is not a big deal.
Thanks Sue. That's kind of what I meant. There was first a custodial evaluation where I signed releases with the evaluator and then later there was a court subpoena. So every record from my entire life was released. Who knew that none of this is ultimately confidential?
[And I totally agree the age thing wasn't a big deal. It was just the final straw for me. Sometimes on this forum, a small reference like that can be magnified ....].
So my first piece of counsel ... like I said ... is find someone protective of your records.
My second piece, oddly, and I hate to say this, but show up neatly dressed and groomed. They all note how you are dressed and groomed! Who knew there was a dress code, or that it was getting jotted down every time, frustrating.
(In the case of this psychologist, since his appointments were nights and weekends, I was often showing up on Saturday afternoons after working in my garden (his office was a block from my home), and he made adverse comments, and every mental health professional in general seemed to make notes about grooming and dress, even if just neutrally checking a box on a form ...).
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