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OP, please don't think that the ideals which HGTV shows day after day are absolutely necessary. They are all nice to haves. Items on your inspection report would have been evaluated for functionality. Do your doorknobs work? Not, are they currently in fashion? etc.
You bought a 30 yr old house for $23K under comps (using your figures). Why did you put all of your savings down on the house? What will you do when something non-cosmetic fails (HVAC stops working, hot water heater blows up, Polybutelene pipe or masonite siding fails)?
My advice, learn to do most of the work yourself. Most of this is simple cosmetics, things which can be done over time as budget allows - bathroom fixtures, lights, knobs, cabinets, mirrors. The larger items, if you don't feel comfortable tackling - wait until you have money to do them.
A 1980's house? All cosmetic, except maybe the pool. Nothing you identified (other than maybe the pool) being left for a year or ten will kill anyone or destroy the house.
My first house was built in 1941. It had a ceiling falling in and the mortgage company gave me 15 days after closing to have it corrected or my loan was due and payable in full. And the radiator heaters in 1/2 the rooms were rusted out and water had to bypass them, so no heat in those rooms. The inspection did not find that out. And the kitchen floor had missing boards that ones foot could go through and end up in the basement, again 15 days to fix. And there were tons of other things, but those were the major ones to start with. In that situation one can be stressed out as many things had to happened at once. But in your case, just chill. In time you can fix all those things.
I'm curious about the buying process here. How long did you look for a house and how many did you see? How many were seriously considered and were you looking in a small area or a few different towns or cities? What was the reason for walking away from the other house; was it the integrity question of being lied to or were you absolutely against buying a flip? To generalize that a flip is not a good purchase is unreasonable.
If it makes you feel any better, I've felt that way about every home I've ever purchased.
Obviously, I thought it was the home for me or I wouldn't have purchased it to begin with. But after all the papers are signed, and the "dust settles", then it just looks and feels different. Trust your original feelings, that this was the house you wanted. After a few months it will start to feel more like home. Once you begin to put your own touches on it and spend some time there you will feel better about the purchase. It will be ok!
Here's another way to perhaps relieve some pressure on you. You can always turn around and sell the house.
Yes, you'll lose money selling it with commissions, have to move again and the expenses that entails, etc., but I think keeping this in the back of your mind might relieve some pressure on you if you truly can't deal with the house.
Nothing you've mentioned is even close to a deal-breaker, and "pool needs resurfacing" comes VERY close to first world problems.
Just understand that you bought a house that is not brand new, and you need to live with these "outdated" fixtures for a while and do what most homebuyers do: Save up and replace them when you can afford them.
In the grand scheme of things, the entire thread does.
You just need a drink. Maybe, a couple more and that house will start looking like the dream house you wanted.
I like that solution
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