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Not trying to sound like the downer here, but I've often thought about my misfortunes and how they managed to bring other people up.
I mean, you think your life blows, then all of a sudden someone with an even larger case of the blues comes along and kicks your sob story to the curb.
The question that drives me insane
But this thread's in relation to sorrow and not anger, so we'll save that for another thread.
I meant that there are some people that are actually inspired to become something greater by looking at someone that appears to be a failure of some sort.
Without "down on their luck" people around, others wouldn't be so moved to become successful in their own lives.
So even though some of us "downers" feel we're not bringing joy to others, we actually are and either just don't know it, or don't care enough to realize it.
If you travel overseas you will see people with NOTHING, literally nothing, and they are happy anyway.
Our consumerist society promises happiness if you have a good job, house, car etc.
Then we find we need a BIGGER job, house, car....and on it goes.
I feel very much for you OP, I would recommend antidepressants ASAP.
You don't have to feel this way. You say your siblings have problems too, it could all be a matter of inherited brain chemistry which can be fixed/stabilized by a tiny pill.
Truth be told, alot of people have felt like a failure, saw no hope, and considered suicicde. When we are in the midst of difficulties, it's hard to see a way out- it can be overwhelming. The only answer I know of is God. I'm not telling you that because I'm supposed to, but because I was there, and my life changed because of Him. You may have already "tried" God, well try again- you don't have any better answers.I could quote scripture, but you won't know what I'm talking about unless and until YOU experience Him in your life. Noboddy is beyond His reach- He knows your pain. Reach out to Him NOW, and give Him your life. He sent His Son to die for you, so that YOU would live for him. Sounds like you're trying to live for yourself- that's normal- not a criticism. I know that whenever I've been in the most mental/emotional pain was when I was entirely focused on myself, and feeling like "I'm not getting my way". Drop to your knees, swallow your pride, and ask God for help. If you are sincere, and don't give up, He will help you. If you don't reach out to him- you're left to your own devices- and you know where that has gotten you. I'll pray for you. Don't pay attention to those who will get on here and make fun of me and my Faith- they are ignorant.
Truth be told, alot of people have felt like a failure, saw no hope, and considered suicicde. When we are in the midst of difficulties, it's hard to see a way out- it can be overwhelming. The only answer I know of is God. I'm not telling you that because I'm supposed to, but because I was there, and my life changed because of Him. You may have already "tried" God, well try again- you don't have any better answers.I could quote scripture, but you won't know what I'm talking about unless and until YOU experience Him in your life. Noboddy is beyond His reach- He knows your pain. Reach out to Him NOW, and give Him your life. He sent His Son to die for you, so that YOU would live for him. Sounds like you're trying to live for yourself- that's normal- not a criticism. I know that whenever I've been in the most mental/emotional pain was when I was entirely focused on myself, and feeling like "I'm not getting my way". Drop to your knees, swallow your pride, and ask God for help. If you are sincere, and don't give up, He will help you. If you don't reach out to him- you're left to your own devices- and you know where that has gotten you. I'll pray for you. Don't pay attention to those who will get on here and make fun of me and my Faith- they are ignorant.
I think that a person has to be ready to do what you suggested because their mind body and soul has to be in the right place to do so. Perhaps all who have faith were ignorant once, some may remain that way for a lifetime but some may find faith later on in life. Until a person is ready, everything you just said will fall upon death ears and closed eyes but your words may have planted a seed and that's good.
I used to feel a lot like this. Only my stuck in a rut go nowhere job was in food service. I was alone. Had few friends and lived in a run down old house with no heat. Now I work in a neuroscience lab and live in a sweet little apartment. My few friends are the most important people in my life and I am grateful for them every day.
I learned that to change your life you first have to change yourself. I started out with making a decision that no matter how bad my day was going I would find one thing that was good and spend some time thinking about and appreciating it. Some days that was something as simple as the beauty of one moment. Sun on leaves. Fresh snow on the ground. A really good meal. Just one happy thought a day. I decided that while my job was not very glamorous I would take pride in doing it better than anyone else. I would find satisfaction in the fact that I had done my job that day to the best of my ability. Think about things I liked about how I did it and how I could do it better tomorrow. Never tried to please the boss or other people. I did it just to please myself. That attitude is why my boss gave me an glowing reference for my current job.
A janitor is not such a bad job. The janitor who cares for my building has a high level of pride in what he does. I told him just yesterday how much appreciate his work. Because of him the environment I work in is that much better. So don't knock that job. As was pointed out it has some up sides. No one bothers you as long as you do your job. That's not a bad thing.
Nothing changes
I change
Everything changes.
Work on your own self image. Learn to care for and respect yourself. Become the person you can respect and be proud of being. Everything else will fall into place after that.
It takes time. it took me years. But if I can do it so can you.
My name is Justin and I am the epitome of failure. I am 31 years old going on 32 in 5 months and I work as a custodian. I hate my job, it's the kind of job where they tell you that if you don't get good grades that's what you'll end up being. People look down on that job and therefore look down on me.
It wasn't always like this, I used to have a career until I crashed and burned in 2010, I ended up going back on social security disability( I was previously on it due to severe depression, ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder) and that turned out to be a double edged sword. See I work in Information Technology and prior to going back on benefits I was working full time in the field, but I kept getting laid off and losing jobs. In addition there is now a large gap in my resume thanks to just working part time and being on benefits. I don't want to be on benefits and working part time as a janitor, but I have been trying to secure full time employment in my field for the past 3 years and have no luck. My work history has pretty much branded me as a "bad" employee.
THe only things I was able to get in this time period was a low paying job a computer shop where I ended up quiting because the boss was a jerk (another mark against me on my resume) I also occasionally volunteer my skills at a local rescue mission which has helped somewhat.
I am also in school for additional training (I have an associates in Information Technology) to get some IT certfications, but because of my poor work history it may all be for naught.
As a matter of fact I just got off the phone with an employer for a brief phone screening, he questioned why I am currently working as a janitor and I didn't know what to say to him other than I "didn't make the best choices" he also said he knows the guy who runs the computer shop and he asked if he could call him for reference and if he did would he get a good reference I told him probably not because I didn't leave there on the best terms, so obviously I am not going to get an in person interview.
I am at my wits end, I am sick of my position in life not improving, I am sick of struggling financially, I am sick of being looked down upon. I know I am in school and I am volunteering but I am just afraid it's all for naught because of my tainted work history.
I really want to die because I am sick of being defeated and having to humble myself all the time. If I am going to spend the rest of my life struggling and feeling behind everyone else.
I don't have many friends I can turn to other than my girlfriend, and while she is supportive like every thing else in my life the relationship has complexities, I made a thread about my relationship you can read it here if you wish:
All in all I am just sick of everything, I am sick of things not working out for me, I am sick of everything having to be complex, and I am sick of platitudes from people (year after year) like "hang in there it will get better" because it never f'ing does!
I think suicide is a good option for me because I am sick of having doors slammed in my face and failing time and time again. I am sick of getting hurt by people that are supposedly my "friends" and family.
I cannot continue living this way, I'd rather die than continue to struggle through life. To me it's just not worth it.
I know some people are going to be deeply hurt by my passing especially my mom, but she has 3 other kids all of which have problems similar to mine to one degree of another so she will have one less "kid" to worry about. My girlfriend will get over it because I haven't been in her life that long, and I don't think she cares about me as much as she thinks she does because she is not doing much to address the issue outlined in the thread I posted.
I really think it would be better if I was dead, after all I am on social security and a drain on the tax payers so I'll be saving the tax payers money, there's a plus right there.
Life just doesn't seem worth the struggle I have encountered more pain and misery than joy and life just doesn't seem worth living anymore.
Hey Justin,
I know exactly how you feel.
I don't have anything to look forward to.
I want to end my life too.
Just my opinion but I respect you more than some trust fund punk who graduated from Princeton on daddy's dime! Why list all your employers? Make up some health issue that society currently accepts, find a friend or two as references being an excellent employee while working for them as IT Specialist or whatever reasonable title. Your young man just write your on resume and go out their with solid confidence using the knowledge you have and play this silly game called life. If you suffer from depression and yet still manage to hold any job then your my freakin hero!!! I suffered a serious bout of depression at age 29 that was so deep so fast I ended up in the hospital. Of course I had no clue what was happening to me other than it must be from satan or something. I was blessed with medicine that worked so the whole event was about 18 months which seemed an eternity. Buddy if you suffer from depression and it keeps you from employment then you take your earned disability without shame! Use that time to discover new things about the world by reading, documentaries, or help others out. Your here for a reason and it may feel like running through a house on fire at times but just keep running. Depression has its ups and downs so bite through the tough times even if it means taking it minute by minute. I know you can do it because I'm doing the same now. My depression returned 4 years ago after losing a job and over 6 figures in medical due to preexisting condition. I had enough money to live 3 years without a job staying in my home. Now I'm paycheck to paycheck, pretty much wake up very depressed but manage by the time I get working and frankly many times I'm ashamed and or terrified because I did not live up to my own and others expectations my mind created. A poll of cancer patients with depression confirmed by far most would rather ta/ckle cancer than depression. Go and and just live in the moment and before long you will find yourself just living! All the best and many prayers
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