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After many years of struggling with major depression, I have recently been disagnosed with BPD.
I'm reading all I can but there seems to be major gaps in education and public perception, which spreads to the medical community also.
I'm starting this thread as a way to reach out to others who have this diagnosis, or who suspect they do.
It is an extremely painful and debilitating way to live, grossly misunderstood by most. It seems as though Australia and the UK is miles ahead in recognizing and dealing with this often fatal disease, I would have thought I'd find a load of BPD threads on here but found zero.
May I ask were you diagnosed by a psychiatrist/psychologist/social worker? I have discovered many mental health professionals are reluctant to diagnose people with BPD due to negative perceptions of people with this condition. My mom was diagnosed many years ago by her psychiatrist. She spent many years in and out of mental hospitals. Her unpredictable and inconsistent behavior was exhausting to deal with. She has since passed away from cancer. With BPD, as with all mental illnesses, it is important to see your doc regularly and take any prescribed meds, things I'm sure you already know from your depression treatment. I have bipolar disorder myself, but it is under good control due to psychiatrist's excellent knowlege of pharmacology and me, and my compliance with her treatment regimen.
May I ask were you diagnosed by a psychiatrist/psychologist/social worker? I have discovered many mental health professionals are reluctant to diagnose people with BPD due to negative perceptions of people with this condition. My mom was diagnosed many years ago by her psychiatrist. She spent many years in and out of mental hospitals. Her unpredictable and inconsistent behavior was exhausting to deal with. She has since passed away from cancer. With BPD, as with all mental illnesses, it is important to see your doc regularly and take any prescribed meds, things I'm sure you already know from your depression treatment. I have bipolar disorder myself, but it is under good control due to psychiatrist's excellent knowlege of pharmacology and me, and my compliance with her treatment regimen.
Diagnosed by a psychiatrist after years of failure with psychologists.
BPD is far less treatable than bipolar which responds well to meds.
BPD is similar but distinguishable by the rapid cycling of moods. If you have suffered you will know euphoria and misery several times a day, every day.
It is truly a living hell, also EXHAUSTING for the sufferer and everyone around them.
BPD is far less treatable than bipolar which responds well to meds.
BPD is similar but distinguishable by the rapid cycling of moods. If you have suffered you will know euphoria and misery several times a day, every day.
It is truly a living hell, also EXHAUSTING for the sufferer and everyone around them.
I'd like to know more about your personal experience and how you are overcoming it. I did know someone with BPD. I am very much interested in psychology, and her struggles were quite unsettling to me. She was predictably unpredictable and consistently inconsistent. Frequent mood swings, push-pull behavior, cutting, suicidal thoughts, black and white thinking, chronic feelings of emptiness and melancholy, impulsivity regarding sex and drugs. She suffers from severe sexual trauma and fear, likely the result of repeated sexual abuse when she was a child by someone she was supposed to be able to trust (her father perhaps). She has a history of troubling relationships, all decimated by her BPD. Interestingly enough, she manages to avoid confronting the problem by being a New Ager. Her New Age spirituality doesn't help with the BPD, but it acts as a diversion.
I'd like to know more about your personal experience and how you are overcoming it. I did know someone with BPD. I am very much interested in psychology, and her struggles were quite ... diversion.
Or maybe not. This is a public forum, not the place for me to make such a request. Good luck on your responses here. It's an interesting topic.
BPD is far less treatable than bipolar which responds well to meds.
BPD is similar but distinguishable by the rapid cycling of moods. If you have suffered you will know euphoria and misery several times a day, every day.
It is truly a living hell, also EXHAUSTING for the sufferer and everyone around them.
I am aware of that. I did my undergraduate and graduate school training in Clinical Psychology. I was diagnosed bipolar following a severe head injury 12 years ago. My mom was diagnosed BPD 30 years ago and has since passed away.
I'd like to know more about your personal experience and how you are overcoming it. I did know someone with BPD. I am very much interested in psychology, and her struggles were quite unsettling to me. She was predictably unpredictable and consistently inconsistent. Frequent mood swings, push-pull behavior, cutting, suicidal thoughts, black and white thinking, chronic feelings of emptiness and melancholy, impulsivity regarding sex and drugs. She suffers from severe sexual trauma and fear, likely the result of repeated sexual abuse when she was a child by someone she was supposed to be able to trust (her father perhaps). She has a history of troubling relationships, all decimated by her BPD. Interestingly enough, she manages to avoid confronting the problem by being a New Ager. Her New Age spirituality doesn't help with the BPD, but it acts as a diversion.
I had to think about this for a while, it's all still new to me and I'm still learning.
How BPD has affected me:
Primarily, dysfunction in relationships to the point I am almost totally isolated.
My kids don't speak to me, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA why. This is a major grief in my life and has made me suicidal, but BPDs are suicidal anyway.
I had a major breakdown after my career hit the skids, or was it vice versa, and have been unable to manage day to day ever since, about 4 years ago.
In the last 4 years (indeed, many times over my 49 years) I have been homeless, a victim of crime, lost my house, career, kids, friends.
On the other hand I do not exhibit the Usual Feature of cutting or even at first glance, abandonment issues - yet ive come to realize that is whats behind every single action or thought ive ever had.
The scary part is, my own niece cuts. It seems as though there may be a genetic component but my niece was never neglected nor abused as a small child, as I was.
It's absolutely horrific and the only reason I was diagnosed is because I myself KNEW there was something more than just depression, which ive been treated for for years now.
I managed extremely well showing all the signs of Success, for years...then a couple of personal crises (my work, my kids/ex husband) and it finally all fell apart. I became pretty much unable to do anything, and this is still affecting me.
The major reaction I had to diagnosis has been MASSIVE relief. People with BPD absolutely hate themselves and feel major negative emotions daily, several times daily. They blame themselves for everything one minute, blame the world the next. Rational thought is a stranger, impulsive acts a relief.
It is incredibly painful and debilitating and I am absolutely amazed I have managed so well, in retrospect.
People probably just thought I was a b*tch at times but at other times I am extremely good company, fun, intelligent, generous and kind.
I am very prone to the black/white thinking and as a symptom of my horribly abusive childhood I have perfected the art of dissociation. I make massive efforts to NOT CARE first, before anyone can hurt me.
Thanks for asking the question, its the first time I've put my experiences in writing.
Cinderslipper, are you familiar with dialectical behavior therapy? It is said to be very helpful for people with BPD, especially those with a lot of insight into their disorder, and you appear to be extremely insightful. It does not "cure" BPD, but helps with impulse control, black and white thinking, gaslighting, and many of the other common traits associated with BPD.
See if your doctor or therapist is familiar with DBT and if they think it might be something productive for you to pursue.
Best wishes to you.
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