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Well, the title sort of says it all. Turning 40 August 19. Born in Chattanooga, TN nearly 40 years ago.
I am proud of the small family I have. But I wish I had accomplished more to this point. As a person who suffers from bouts of depression, I'm trying to fight off those feelings as best as I can. Feelings of failure, incompletion, loss, etc.
I don't want my family see me regress. At this time. But I've lived a life of physical fitness, worked as an actor in TV, film, and commercial, and had a career in business fields such as accounting, taxation, and investment brokerage. But the world has changed, and I've changed. Having been married to the same wonderful lady for 16 years, raising two daughters together, I feel claustrophobic. And I have felt that way since 2010. I've struggled so much. And made her struggle too. And my children, I am sure as well.
I feel like a relocation would do me some good, and I've wanted to move to the west coast for a few years now, but it's just not a financially prudent move. I feel like we would struggle more than here in Alabama.
I'm looking for answers, but just thought I'd share here, since this is really my only online exposure, have very few personal friends, and no one I can share these thoughts with except for my wife, who already knows it all. She and I just can't find another perspective, or any semblance of an answer.
I am 44 now and have enjoyed my 40's probably more than any other age group.
Who defined the word "accomplishment"? You? Or was that an outside idea pre-packaged for us via decades of marketing? I'd imagine the latter. Marketing enslaves our minds, and ultimately makes us miserable. We end up thinking it's (whatever "it" may be at the time) never enough.
Sit alone and ask yourself what ultimately makes you content. When the answer comes, examine the origins a bit more. Why was that your answer? Where did that thought come from? If you can manage to go deep enough, an entire new life will unfold in front of you.
I only wish I had been so introspective many years ago.
Hang on ... It gets better once you realize that turning 40 is the most liberating thing that's happened to you so far.
It will come. I hit a major wall at 39 -- single, in a stale career, not really happy with where I was, compounded by the death of my father. It took me about a year and a half to work through the blues and the grief, until I reached the point where I just said "eff this!", found a new job that made me much happier, and proceeded to get on with life.
In the meantime, take good care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Eat well, get plenty of exercise, spend time with your precious family.
SLCPUNK and Ohio girl are bang on about one's 40s being a fabulous time. I have absolutely loved my 40s, and I'm sad that they're coming to an end in the next couple of years. They certainly haven't been without difficulties or self-doubt or unexpected detours, because they've given a fair share. And, yet, they truly HAVE been the most freeing, the most fortifying, the most fun years ever.
The other posters are right: you will discover more of your talents and strengths, and (at the risk of sounding trite), you will become more grateful for what you have and less anxious about what you don't. I think the 40s are a gift that keeps giving, because these years finally (hopefully) teach us to not sweat the small stuff.
Happy Birthday, OP, and welcome to one of the best periods of your life. Enjoy!
SLCPUNK and Ohio girl are bang on about one's 40s being a fabulous time. I have absolutely loved my 40s, and I'm sad that they're coming to an end in the next couple of years. They certainly haven't been without difficulties or self-doubt or unexpected detours, because they've given a fair share. And, yet, they truly HAVE been the most freeing, the most fortifying, the most fun years ever.
The other posters are right: you will discover more of your talents and strengths, and (at the risk of sounding trite), you will become more grateful for what you have and less anxious about what you don't. I think the 40s are a gift that keeps giving, because these years finally (hopefully) teach us to not sweat the small stuff.
Happy Birthday, OP, and welcome to one of the best periods of your life. Enjoy!
Thank you DixieGirl and keep riding that bike! One of my fave pastimes too!
I'm 71 and feeling great. I have a wonderful wife that I've known for 42 years and I work out at the gym 3 times a week. Wives are great. I've had 3 of them. The first two were for practice. lol
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