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to give an update on my healing from abuse, I learned more about the person in my family that used to abuse me, I talked to a distant family member who also stayed away from certain family members because of the drama, and I talked to her and she had some answers about the family member that I never knew. she is the sister of my relative( my aunt, who lived with us because she could not keep a job), I discovered that she had been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. her clinical psychologist who she worked with but no longer does, also considered her to be an actual psychopath, all this stuff does not surprise me at all for the fact that she was very destructive, had no empathy for others, was constantly threatening, and has even given me death threats and has violently hit me on a couple occasions, she also stole from other people, but she always plays the victim no matter what.
well, now I don't even live with her anymore, she moved across the country and is now in another chaotic relationship. I now realize that she was just trying to throw her problems on me all this time, i'm not having it anymore, I've come to learn to not take responsibility for her destructive and dangerous behavior anymore, she has chosen to live her life negatively. the problem now is that she keeps facebooking me persistently, she keeps asking me to let her back into my life, I've done that a couple times but when I do that she goes back into her old ways and I kick her out again but then she comes back to me and does the same thing all over again.
Has anyone had an experience with a person who has been diagnosed as a narcissist and considered to be a psychopath? how should I deal with someone like this? I'm just ready to get my goals and be successful and conquer all these stupid problems. I know exactly what I want to do in life and I'm ready to get it, I know I can if I work my hardest. I'm also ready to be very healthy and live a long life. excited for it.
You need to ignore her attempts to "come back". Why do you accept her Farcebook activity? Block it. If you have learned what she does and why she does it, why continue to be victimized? She wants to feed off of you. Don't permit it.
You need to ignore her attempts to "come back". Why do you accept her Farcebook activity? Block it. If you have learned what she does and why she does it, why continue to be victimized? She wants to feed off of you. Don't permit it.
does this mean I should dump her garbage out of my life because she is her own problem, because that's what I thought it was. I'm tired of her
This is the time to figure out what you really want...what is really important to you. If the relationship with this person causes you to feel good, then you would probably want it to continue. If it doesn't make you feel good, or it makes you feel bad, then is it something you want to continue? Decisions like this are only hard if you don't care enough about yourself to give yourself what you really, really want.
Make your own enjoyment of your life your highest priority, and then how this relationship should be handled, whether limited, terminated, or allowed to flourish, will just become clear.
does this mean I should dump her garbage out of my life because she is her own problem, because that's what I thought it was. I'm tired of her
Well, yes. At least you can make yourself a lot less available.....don't let her contact or "see" you via Facebook. That's an easy one. Block her phone number, her email, or whatever else she uses. You don't have to say a thing to justify yourself. Just disappear.
You are still too easily triggered and manipulated by this relationship. I highly suggest that you do not renew it. What good could possibly come of it?
If I was you I would read up on and learn about boundaries. Learn strong ones. Practice using them. Really make it a focus of your life, or you will repeat the same behaviors with others, giving away your power of autonomy. If you are vulnerable there are people out there who can smell it a mile away.
She hasn't changed, which leaves only you to change, or things stay the same.
just so ready to get all my goals, I hope people who are in my situation or in any thing similar can do it also, just takes dedication to make ends meet and to stay strong! stay strong everyone!!
Remember: you cannot control this person. But you have full control of yourself. You have every right to decide how you will live and be excited for your life. You are working to establish this life for yourself. Some people are too hard to manage, at least until we have good self-control and have rejected their shenanigans (if not them personally). Maybe at some future time your sense of connection to this person will outweigh how much stress and damage she causes. Meanwhile, focus on your own growth and enjoyment of life.
A person's mental illness does not get to dictate the behavior of others. It should not even dictate that person's own behavior.
The answer would seem simple- have nothing to do with them. I set boundries with people- those that want to use me, are consistently negative, use drugs, etc- I have nothing to do with them. This includes family- I cannot understand why so many people won't set boundries?
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