Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 01-08-2019, 09:05 PM
 
1,672 posts, read 1,244,363 times
Reputation: 1772

Advertisements

The details of the incident isn't needed. But I'm wondering how you were able to live and work after being targeted that way? Did you find any solutions to rebuild your trust with others, or did the incident ruin your everyday relationships? Or did you somehow forget about an allegation that could have or did ruin your life?

(Again, the story isn't necessary, but I did want to read how it affected other people)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-19-2019, 11:25 PM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,706 posts, read 3,299,302 times
Reputation: 2412
I was falsely accused of abusing my child. I had a huge support system. My profession requires me to have character and to be an ethical person. I had to follow legal proscriptions. Most persons I met agreed it wasn't true, even those who monitored me as part of supervised visits. I traveled over 400 miles every two weeks to visit with my son for 4 hours per session. After 3 years, I connected back with my son. Many persons agreed my ex had an axe to grind. I was put through several reviews. I had (and still have) a sterling reputation. It was untarnished. G-d also watched over me.

I think it was hard for them to see me suffer these accusations and follow through with legal proscriptions. Many said they would have given up. I followed through because I wanted my son to see that his father was a man, not simply a seed-bearer. He's at a place where this would not recur. We've discussed it. He knows I am a good man and that I didn't do the things I was accused of. Many of my ex's family believe in me and believed my side of the story. Her immediate family has nothing to do with me, believing their daughter vs. me. Those who witnessed this indicated and shared they had more faith in men and in me after my going through this struggle.

Regarding 'living and working;' It wore me out and wore me down. I was exhausted daily. I took a cut in my workload, because it was too much to bear. I spent a lot of time at church, praying and finding support from G-d and others. I had many conversations during the late hours of the night with friends I would call as I traveled. I didn't date or look at other relationships. I relied tremendously on G-d to take care of me. I think I came out better. I am dating now and have a great relationship. My ex is trying to get money from her suffering other catastrophes. She is a bitter person and remains single. My son has to live in two houses with two very different parents. I think he is more comfortable in my home with my GF. My GF treats him like her son, and she has raised an incredible family. My colleagues at church enjoy him - he is a hoot with others in the youth group. He is very much indulged at his mother's home, and it shows. I am trying to help him be responsible. He does well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-03-2019, 01:23 AM
 
1,672 posts, read 1,244,363 times
Reputation: 1772
Thanks for your reply. What happened to you is awful, but it's good to know that you're recovering and have a relationship with your son.

I'm wondering, does it cross your mind that it could happen again under completely difference circumstances? Are there some behavior characteristics in people that put you on defense, whether they mean well or not? Those are the problems I'm facing. I suppose it's the same symptoms after mugging, or a similar traumatic experience that happens in an everyday setting (instead of war or natural disaster etc).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-09-2019, 11:48 PM
 
8,092 posts, read 3,414,014 times
Reputation: 5608
I was falsely accused of child abuse by my biological family to CPS. I was falsely accused of many things surrounding that, one of which that I had tried to gun her down (with a gun that was new and still had tape around the trigger). There were no bullet holes anywhere since it never happened. I was not criminally charged since it was obvious it didn't happen.

However, the judge was all like, "I don't care if it happened or not. I am going to make sure it doesn't happen again." She also stated she didn't care about my constitutional rights.

CPS took her from me and ended up giving her to my rapist. She had been conceived in rape. I had to pay my rapist child support each month until she turned 18. I was not allowed visitation after he got her. I was told that in order for me to receive visitation I had to confess to things I never did, lie to my daughter and tell her she'd been conceived in love, recant about the abuse I endured, and then the visitation I was told I'd receive if I did all of that would be one hour a month supervised by my rapist. My rapist was/is government employee and everyone involved adored him.

Every single one of my friends either turned on me or abandoned me. My character was assassinated throughout the community. I was accosted when I'd try to go shopping and had to start shopping after midnight when most would be asleep.

My court appointed attorney stipulated me to the charges without my consent, so I never was allowed a trial. I felt completely powerless, and I kept begging for help but no one would help me. I felt as powerless as I did when my forced husband was hurting me and no one would help me. There was no escape.

So, I live every day since 2011 with society believing I tried to murder my child and got away with it. I have no friends. I have started to make friends again in the past, but someone would come along and let the person know what I supposedly done and the person would leave.

Society condemns me for things that never happened. I was never able to recover. I am still enduring what is happening to me.

And then my father and his wife tried to bully me into having my disability money go into his bank account so that he could control me more. He was behind my daughter being taken too. I didn't give into the bullying and I sold off as much stuff as I could to try and leave the state and start over. I moved into my truck with my cats. I got sick and bad weather hit and things went downhill from there. My father and his wife retaliated by writing letters to SSA claiming I was committing disability fraud. SSA somehow got long term doctors to turn against me and I ended up having to get new ones. The attorney general's office dispatched investigators to follow me around for a while. Then they couldn't find anything so they lied and twisted stuff to paint me that way anyway. I depend on disability because I have never been able to hold down a job. So, if they succeed this time then I am a dead woman. The only thing is will I die from my illnesses or from escaping. My appeal hearing later this month and I am literally fighting for the right to live.

Society has not allowed me to recover. Society wants me destroyed. The entire time when I lost my daughter not one person stood by me. Not one. I went through it all by myself. Just like when I fought for my freedom from my rapist/forced husband I went through it all by myself. So, I know I can never trust anyone. I will never receive justice. I will never be restored. No one will ever fight for me. My name will never be cleared.

Romans 13 promises that the authorities God places over us will not be a terror to us if we submit to them and not do evil. All authorities are established by God. The authorities God established over me have either terrorized me or allowed me to be terrorized my whole life. I did submit to them. I know I was innocent. Therefore, my experiences have taught me that God is a liar too. He is not this infallible being I was taught He was when I was growing up. God established authorities over me to bear false witness against me. He had me tortured. He did not keep His promises. I hate Him and I wish I could stab Him and kill Him. I wish I could beat and torture Him like I have been beat and tortured. But I know that is unrealistic.

I doubt I will ever recover. I have no friends. I am an outcast. I am a pariah. God condemned me to live this way and I hate Him for it. Cain was a murderer and God still blessed him with a family. God loved a murderer more than me. I was forced into a marriage to my rapist when I was a child and lost my future because I was spiritually bullied into obeying Bible scripture, but He blessed a murderer with a decent family. God never blessed me with anything. He wouldn't even save me from being tortured when I was praying and begging Him for help. I would've at least had some sort of a decent life had I not been obeying the Bible all those years ago. The adults kept quoting scripture and I was coerced into doing things I didn't want to do for fear I'd go to hell if I didn't. Well, I went through all that and going to hell anyway, because God sure didn't help me. I am condemned to live like this. As they say, there is no condemnation for those in Christ. I am under condemnation, therefore I was never in Christ. I want to take all the Bibles in the world and set them on fire.

I have tried counseling, and when I tell the therapist about what has happened to me I am invalidated or not believed. The therapist always gets this attitude when I tell her about what I was accused of that I must've been guilty. I can't trust anyone who believes my false accusers. So, even going to therapy gets me falsely accused all over again. It gets so hard having to live with this weight crushing me. I don't even know who I used to be. I can't ever be her again.

Romans 13 and what happened to me taught me God's true character. I can never think of God the way I used to ever again. The person I used to be deserved what happened to her for believing in anything good. Nothing good had happened to me. There was no evidence anything good would magically enter my life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-11-2019, 02:11 PM
 
Location: In bucolic TN
1,706 posts, read 3,299,302 times
Reputation: 2412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kin Atoms View Post
I was falsely accused of abusing my child. I had a huge support system. My profession requires me to have character and to be an ethical person. I had to follow legal proscriptions. Most persons I met agreed it wasn't true, even those who monitored me as part of supervised visits. I traveled over 400 miles every two weeks to visit with my son for 4 hours per session. After 3 years, I connected back with my son. Many persons agreed my ex had an axe to grind. I was put through several reviews. I had (and still have) a sterling reputation. It was untarnished. G-d also watched over me.

I think it was hard for them to see me suffer these accusations and follow through with legal proscriptions. Many said they would have given up. I followed through because I wanted my son to see that his father was a man, not simply a seed-bearer. He's at a place where this would not recur. We've discussed it. He knows I am a good man and that I didn't do the things I was accused of. Many of my ex's family believe in me and believed my side of the story. Her immediate family has nothing to do with me, believing their daughter vs. me. Those who witnessed this indicated and shared they had more faith in men and in me after my going through this struggle.

Regarding 'living and working;' It wore me out and wore me down. I was exhausted daily. I took a cut in my workload, because it was too much to bear. I spent a lot of time at church, praying and finding support from G-d and others. I had many conversations during the late hours of the night with friends I would call as I traveled. I didn't date or look at other relationships. I relied tremendously on G-d to take care of me. I think I came out better. I am dating now and have a great relationship. My ex is trying to get money from her suffering other catastrophes. She is a bitter person and remains single. My son has to live in two houses with two very different parents. I think he is more comfortable in my home with my GF. My GF treats him like her son, and she has raised an incredible family. My colleagues at church enjoy him - he is a hoot with others in the youth group. He is very much indulged at his mother's home, and it shows. I am trying to help him be responsible. He does well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nc17 View Post
Thanks for your reply. What happened to you is awful, but it's good to know that you're recovering and have a relationship with your son.

I'm wondering, does it cross your mind that it could happen again under completely difference circumstances? Are there some behavior characteristics in people that put you on defense, whether they mean well or not? Those are the problems I'm facing. I suppose it's the same symptoms after mugging, or a similar traumatic experience that happens in an everyday setting (instead of war or natural disaster etc).
In the most simplest of terms, not everyone marries a psycho. That's not my perception, that is many others' ideas (professional persons, like counselors and doctors) who have met her and were aware of our difficulties. She is without a foundation, without a plan, and given our interactions, she uses a victimization position that is quite accepted by the legal system, which is quite sympathetic to her plight. Judges are somewhat more savvy, but only because they see it and want more foundational issues drawn up. Lawyers eat this up, as it is income, and it can be dragged out for YEARS.

I have merely become hypervigilant. There are few that I let into my circle. I don't think it is the same symptoms, although I am less generous with anyone, strangers or otherwise, of allowing persons in my circle. I think there is a relative naivete about social contacts that an incident like this will raise your awareness. You cannot be a police officer and turn off any more than you can be an MD and turn off any more than you can be a teacher and turn off or anyone else who is mindful of needs in any environment.

I don't think it is alienating, though it is not like other people have ever looked at me as warm or friendly. I would only say my fences are higher is all. And such an awareness is a salve for others, who may be similarly naive or unaware. I really don't think 'savvy' is a pathological symptom as much as it is being aware. You run into people like this once in a thousand times (approximately). Given that, you can be pretty open to anyone or anything. I just simply became romantically involved and didn't take serious all the signs and warnings, because I thought they would blend into the background and recede with the stability of a relationship. Was I wrong!! From a whole person perspective, there was dissonance between mind, body, and emotions and it never went away. When you are consistently in the midst of such conflict, most persons stop. I always thought it was me, and she (being aware or unaware is irrelevant) kept that ruse up with gas-lighting - that was a lifestyle, and even with her immediate family, it was recognized as 'wickedness.' And when you are in love, you only want the best for your partner. With that said, I never stopped giving my best.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top