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My husbands mother (and 2 year old's grandma) is Bipolar. When I met my husband after a few months I encouraged him to reach out to his mother, whom he had not seen in around 8 years.
She had thrown him out when he was 15 and told him he was a space alien. He had no where to go. He lived in a tent he got from a friend until his friends family found out and took him in. When the friends mom called his mother she told her that she did not have a son. After that I guess she took off because she thought God was giving her directions and she was on a big mission. SHe eventually became homeless and her family had her put in a facility. She eventually went into residential treatment and now independant living.
I truly wanted to believe that she was better and wanted to meet her, etc. She was fine (sort of) until we moved in together. SHe began calling me a lot and telling me that he should go live with his brother instead and that his brother needed help with bills, all kinds of stuff. He did not change his plans with me. Shen then convinced me to give the brother a bunch of money and he would pay me back...a year went by and I got pregnant and needed that money..then she turned NASTY. SHe seemed to think her son was a god but she managed to turn his whole family against me. She tormented me so much when I was pregnant we had to change the phone number. She even got the brothers gf to call me up and scream at me and the brother as well..
She was out to get me! I had tried to be nice to these people. I wont write a book but I gave her so many second chances and let her see my beautiful son and she only used it to cause me distress and unhappiness. SHe had been telling people he wasnt walking or eating yet!
He is a very healthy child!! OMG! SHe caused me to lose a job by calling there and leaving all kinds of messages.
I finally stood up to her and said some things I shouldnt have and next thing the son is calling me threatening me and tells me she wants nothing to do with any of us...even the baby.
We spent Thanksgiving home alone with no phone calls or any word. My parents have passed away and my goal was just to try and have a grandmother for my son. SHe has behaved like a jealous ex gf and mnot a mother.
Is this usual for bipolar? Also, she was constantly telling me that I am bipolar and need to take clonapin or geodon.
I have never felt so hated by a person until I met this woman. I lost over 80 lbs after I had my son and she had a fit! Meanwhile, her other sons gf is a skanky thing, heroin addict, very unsavory type of women..and she thinks that she is lovely! I am a fitness trainer, a good mom, I am in recovery for alcohol (that was thrown in my face) and I am doing well.
Don't let her ruin your life. Put up boundaries and get a restraining order if the boundaries are not respected. She is tormenting and harassing you. Talk to your husband and make a plan together on how you are going to handle this and put a stop to it.
I also grew up with a mother who has bipolar disorder. I am 21 currently, and it is still a huge struggle. I am in college and consistently have trouble staying in serious relationships and keeping in touch with my mom. It is very difficult to separate the parent from their illness...I find it nearly impossible. I tend to forget her illness until I arrive home and the cycle continues. It's difficult to discuss it with my friends who have normal parents. It is also bizarre to look back and realize all those inconsistencies and irrational behavior...it was all I had known, so it was 'normal' to me for mothers to go on ridiculous shopping sprees and rages. I'm still in the angry/guilty phase, but of course I'd love to be in the acceptance state. I wish I knew someone my age who was in the same situation...My siblings hate talking about it and regardless of how hard my friends try to understand, it is nearly impossible. I was wondering if anyone could possibly help me with my situation..?!
karaell,In my area there are support groups for the family of people with mental illness (kinda like an al-anon) If you do some research through any mental health services in your area I am sure you can find one. It's good to go online and reach out too, but in person in a supportive group setting is the way to go. I like how you say "seperate the illness from the parent"...my chils father has a hard time doing that at 27 years old. He expects her to be what he thinks a mom is..and I expect her to be what I feel a grandma is and we keep getting hurt...yet she gets everyone mad at us and providing her comfort with her side of the story.Geekduo..I was actually thinking of doing this..she has come between my bf and I and I fear that if we split up she will weed her way back into my childs life...and it is always to cause distress. I want to file papers that say she cannot watch him and list those who can.She has not tried to call us or even ask about the baby. I am sure she is far too busy with very important things. Thats what she will say anyway. WOW! /thanbks for the replies take care!
I am an only child of a mother with bipolar and more... My father was a severe alcholocic for 60 years and they were married for 44 years. My father came to live with us two years ago with the condition that he did not drink in my own around our daughter, which he willing did (later to find out that he knew he was dying of cancer and left that out not that it would have changed my decision about him living with us). My father has just passed away which has brought out many feelings and I am conflicted as to fostering a relationship with my mother after virtual no contact for 3 years. As I was trying to explain it to my husband... I have this natural instict to have that relationship with her because she is my mother and she is ill. The realistic side of me knows that the cost may be to high and yet, I still have so much conflict within myself. I can relate and being an only child... the dynamic changes so. I have never wished that I had sibblings more than the day my Dad died. Thanks again for sharing and look forward to hearing more about your story.
I just happened accross your question as I was looking for something altogether different. My mother died 4 years ago and was still responding to voices at the age of 74. I also have background in working w/patients w/schizophrenia. Could you be more specific in sharing your most pressing concerns? I would expect your questions to reflect both concerns for your parent/concerns for yourself. I've only ever shared my personal experiences w/my closest friends but would gladly share w/someone w/similar problems.--Have you ever heard of NAMI or have you read Surviving Schizophrenia A Family Manual? Dr. Torrey's sister had chronic schizophrenia. I can give you valuable insights as to problems w/patients' opposition to taking medication.
Okay, I need some help here. My wife (now 48; we've been married 9 years) grew up with an alcoholic father and, as of her 'teens, a schizophrenic mother; her sister is also schizophrenic. What should I know about the (non-psychotic) issues she's likely to have on board now (she shows no signs of schizoaffective disorders herself)? There is amazingly scant reading available for this. And I am exasperated, not knowing what I may be causing in her, or what she came saddled with already. Thank you!
Okay, I need some help here. My wife (now 48; we've been married 9 years) grew up with an alcoholic father and, as of her 'teens, a schizophrenic mother; her sister is also schizophrenic. What should I know about the (non-psychotic) issues she's likely to have on board now (she shows no signs of schizoaffective disorders herself)? There is amazingly scant reading available for this. And I am exasperated, not knowing what I may be causing in her, or what she came saddled with already. Thank you!
My mom had bipolar with paranoid schizophrenia. It started to surface when she was in her 40's but she strugged with depression all her life. She was molested as a child by her brother and I also believe my her father who was an in the gutter alcoholic and her mom worked a lot just to get away from it all leaving my mom in charge of 4 brothers and her father. Needless to say, our life growing up was a rollercoaster ride and a nightmare. Me being the oldest of 3, I somehow assumed the responsibilities of making sure my mom was safe. I was in my early 20's when her illness started to surface. At first I thought she was high on something, she stayed in her room and wouldn't come out and I was there alone. I don't quite remember how I got someone to come help me. But managed to get her to the hospital. Ahhhh! the hospitals. Bringing her back and forth to hospitals was an ongoing issue because she would stop taking her meds. When she didn't take them she became paranoid and also became violent. I was her physical and verbal punching bag. I didn't leave home until I was 26 and that was because she kicked me out without any of my belongings. I stayed for so long because somewhere inside me I believed I deserved everything she said and did to hurt me. I was always told "you put me in the hospital just to get rid of me". Which I couldn't understand, I brought her there because she was my mother and she needed help, help I couldn't give her. She passed away at the age of 57 from a heart attack. I believe that she again was using street drugs with psyc meds. The last time I ever spoke to her before she passed away we argued and I was pretty angry. So sometimes til this day I struggle with the thoughts of not being able to save her and how I never got to tell how much I loved her. I have been getting help for myself so that me or my daughter don't have to live this way. My daughter is my heart and I would never want her to hurt the way I did or my mom did.
Well my story is somewhat similar to alot of the others. My mom was recently diagnosed as B-P but I have always known that there was a problem. She would also self medicate with alchohol or weed. Now she lives with me after going through a nasty battle with Breast Cancer treatment and a seperation from her husband and there has definately become this role reversal I never would have expected. I am also a single mother of two little ones agea 8 and 5 so its like having another kid. I take care all of my bills, her bills, personal and medical and I am finding myself somewhat feeling like I am on the verge of becoming bipolar myself because I am under so much stress. I just thought maybe if I surrounded myself with others who understood me it would take a little of the edge off.
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Adult Child of Mother with Bipolar Disorder
