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Many of my friends have told me I need therapy........ for quite a while now.
Whenever someone says this, I ask them, "Are you saying this as a joke, or do you really think I need help?" Most often, I get a response much like, "I said it as a joke, but I don't doubt you need it."
I basically think I'm just a little eccentric, though I suppose sometimes the things I do are.. Yeah :]. I will list the things I do/think that may be questionable.
- I always use numbers that I consider good. I wash my hair three times, brush my teeth seven times in a day [though not all at one time.. three, one, then three], when I fill up a glass of water I count to 25 [it adds up to seven], I take seven sips of water from my cup, when I am walking I count my steps to make sure I don't stop on a bad number, etc.
- When walking, I also make sure not to step on any cracks. If I step on something that feels different, I also have to step on it with the other foot, in the same spot.
- I am terrified of being rejected. I can't push away the though that people, and my friends, don't like me. I am constantly afraid they will get bored of me and hurt me. As a result, I can't name a single person I've trusted in the last couple years.
- When I eat, I have certain rules to follow. Again, the good number thing comes into play. I have to chew it a certain number of times. I eat the food in order of darkest to lightest. I make sure I have an even amount of food on both sides of my mouth.
- Also having to do with eating, I can't eat in front of people. I mean to say I can, though it causes me distress, and I usually avoid eating in front of anyone but family.
- If I have a sensation on one side, I need it on the other. Say if I crack a joint on one side, I need to do so on the other.
- I like to be organized, symmetrical, straight, perfectly aligned.
- I use more than one kind of soap/toothpaste/shampoo, to be as clean as possible. I am terrified of germs and illness.
- What other people think of me, worries me greatly. I obsess over it. I constantly wonder if what I am doing is right. I hate going into public places, especially alone, because I feel as though everyone is watching me, even when I know they are not. It terrifies me and causes a lot of distress. Gym was a terrible experience for me. XD. I almost failed that class.
- I find it very difficult to make decisions on my own. I consult people for simple things such as what to eat, what to watch on tv, etc. I know it annoys people, but I simply don't feel I can make these decisions.
- I am afraid that if I act like myself I will be laughed at, or disliked.
- I have a lot of phobias. I see this as totally normal, and don't understand why my friends consider this a reason for therapy. They do cause me a lot of anxiety, if I don't avoid them, so I usually try to.
- I am afraid of social situations in general. I find it extremely difficult and distressful to make eye contact, speak in front of people, or do anything that I think people might think is weird. I am very shy. Sometimes it goes past difficult, and I can't will myself to do it. I feel frozen, as if all eyes are on me, short of breath. I blush a lot, which gets annoying and causes anxious feelings itself.
- This thing I've only had pointed out by one person as being weird. I think most people pass it off as an insecure girl wanting reassurance. It's not at all though. I have a strange obsession with my teeth. They are too crooked, too yellow, just not right. It bothers me extensively. I don't like to smile, for fear people will see it. I often get caught in front of a mirror for sometimes over an hour, staring at my teeth and brooding over the imperfections. I constantly run my tongue over them, just to feel it, or sometimes even with my finger. Most of my friends tell me, "Oh, your teeth are great." Obviously though they are lying, if I see otherwise when I look in the mirror.
I can't think of anything else right now.
I would appreciate your opinion on this though. Am I simply a little different? I am sorry if this is weird to post.
I was a SpEd teacher... this is something you should discuss with your doctor... it must cause a lot of anxiety for you/stress/feelings of panic/frustration- when the numbers don't work out right or it effects you routine... it does sound like OCD. There are medications to help with this, perhaps talking to someone as well.. good luck.
My sister and I both have similar problems. Yep...OCD. She takes medication to help----I've just made it a point to work very hard at not doing those things! I quit washing my hair a certain amount of times..I stopped making sure everything sits a certain way (well, most of the time anyhow), just some examples. It's not easy if you even can do it on your own. If it is affecting your everyday life then it would be a good idea to get checked out. It's obviously there! My sister could not control it without the use of medications and although I do hate medications and the overuse of them in todays society they can be very helpful. They sure made my sisters life more managable and made her a happier person!
Counseling with a professional therapist would do wonders to ease your anxieties. Professional help can really assist you to feel wonderful about your life and about yourself.
Counseling with a professional therapist would do wonders to ease your anxieties. Professional help can really assist you to feel wonderful about your life and about yourself.
I agree. I didn't take the medications but did forget to mention I went to therapy. It does help a lot! You will find out you are not a bad person at all!!
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