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Old 02-24-2009, 02:41 PM
 
Location: sittin happy in the sun :-)
2,509 posts, read 2,661,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven1976 View Post
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy with the fear of death that I have. Has anyone ever had to get counseling for this?

Ever since my father died and then someone else I know, I get anxious, scared, and always wonder what happens in the after life and everything else. SOmetimes I can't sleep over it. Should I be seeking a psychologist to help me, a bereavement counselor, or some kind of therapist??
Dear Raven, I feel compelled to respond to your message.
I have always had a fear of death. I am not religious and do not really find comfort in religion, but that fear is always there and I don't really know why, the only conclusion that I have come to is that I love life so much.

Do you think these recent bereavements have triggered or exacerbated these fears? and what thoughts is it exactly that sends you feeling crazy, is it fear of losing control, or just not living anymore?

I strongly recommend that you see a bereavement counselor in the first instance (not a psychiatrist) and I think this would really help you. Also I think you would really benefit from Cognitive behavoural therapy (CBT - Google it), It will really helpful to control the thought patterns when you can't sleep.

I hope my suggestions help, and good luck, please post and let us know how you get on.

Mrs Sunshine
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Old 02-24-2009, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Some place very cold
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I'm not really afraid of dying anymore. I think it will be nice and peaceful.
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Old 02-24-2009, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Florida
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I think if we waste any time sitting around worried about dying, then we aren't really living.
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Old 02-24-2009, 03:29 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven1976 View Post
I don't know what I believe in, but I'm an Atheist and can find no comfort in religion.


Well.... that might be one of the symptoms
You have to believe in something?
When you have these episodes of fear of death , do you feel like there is no God or a nice place to go or do you feel like you will be at peace?
Or that you will have a spooky experience like something out of a horror movie? the unknown brings fear
maybe this may not be a bad time to think over your beliefs..
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Old 02-24-2009, 03:43 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,895 posts, read 5,228,615 times
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Okay now the other side of my thoughts
I am very comfortable and assured in my faith and don't want to let anyone down
that may read this, but...
I have always feared being put in a casket and down into a cold ground, it creeps me out
just being down there and can't get out
my theory for this was that, who can tell you what that experience is like that have already done it? NO ONE... case and point.
I know that I have God and the angels, but I don't have any facts on how the total experience will be from the time of death until I'm translated over with Jesus...
I'm learning more about it now that I have been studying more of God's word and His character, So all I can do is trust that He will make the experience a beautiful ionstead of a creepy disconnected gory horrific experience!!
I place my whole heart and faith in that He would do nice things for me, like He does while I'm living, I guess miracles now, miracles later..I'm banking on Him
But other than that I'd be too scared to die .YIKES!!!!
I have to keep reminding myself of what my God promised He'll do. if not I start hyperventilating at the thought of death.."WHEW
Oh I forgot that I had a dream about 30 years ago, my God-sister died young and she
used to come and haunt me and sit on my bed she did poltergeist type things, I thoughr I was going to go nuts, and no one believed me, and I don't understand after I went to the Monseignor ( was Catholic at the time) they prayed and did the Holy water thing and candles, later on about 3 -7 months later, she appeared in a clear dream/vision, I was half awake and said to me that "J--- there really a heaven!!! I can't believe it!! there really is, and J-- it is nice!!!" all of a sudden she disappeared and never came back again
But the catch is that she really didn't believe in God but the summer before she died
she went and accepted Jesus into her life and received baptism (just in the nick of time)
So I believe that it was a demon apparition that was trying to scare me into thinking that my beliefs were futile, and God allowed her to come and tell personally afterwards that there was a heaven for real>>

Last edited by yhwhshalomjr; 02-24-2009 at 03:54 PM..
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Old 02-24-2009, 10:29 PM
 
Location: Summerset, SD
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When I was a kid, for some reason I thought I would die in my late-twenties. I really have no idea why I thought it. As I grew older, I think the idea of getting older and closer to dying started rising in my subconsciousness... as a result I developed anxiety disorder. I'm 34 now. Some days I still wonder when the end is, and what will happen. It's not fear of dying, it's fear of the unknown...
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Old 02-24-2009, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Florida
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wondering is normal; obsessing is not. When one can't function due to such fears then what kind of life is that?
It's going to happen to all of us. Why waste time being afraid? I'm curious so I read books that bring me comfort. Not sure they would help others. We all have to find out own ways to cope with our mortality.
Living without constant fear of dying is preferable to obsessing about the ineviitable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elipar View Post
When I was a kid, for some reason I thought I would die in my late-twenties. I really have no idea why I thought it. As I grew older, I think the idea of getting older and closer to dying started rising in my subconsciousness... as a result I developed anxiety disorder. I'm 34 now. Some days I still wonder when the end is, and what will happen. It's not fear of dying, it's fear of the unknown...
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Old 02-25-2009, 12:52 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
10,902 posts, read 8,631,008 times
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Gee! Where did I read that! Death is the greatest gift we'll ever receive in our lives.

Traveling has been a great way of losing my fear of death. As the saying goes: Nothing brings you closer to eternity than travel. If my value system included material purchases, then I might have more fear of dying, I'd want to stick around as long as possible to enjoy all my "toys" and material comforts, because I'd well-know I couldn't take them with me when I died. Memories from a nice trip, they go with me when I die, no suitcase needed.
Giving to others without expecting anything back in return, another great source of memories to take with you when you die. We all want to have the happiest death possible.

Last edited by tijlover; 02-25-2009 at 12:53 AM.. Reason: Forgot a line
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Old 02-25-2009, 04:33 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 2,679,742 times
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Default Who Has Had Problems with Fear of Death

For Raven 1976:

I think at one time or another we have all been afraid of dying and for me, I can share your anxiety and fear. I have been lost several people close to me and have actually witnessed someone drown and was not able to save him so YES, there is some anxiety involved and fear.

I do have to share this with you though. In 1990 after having gone through a bad marriage, raising my son alone and thinking I would never find anyone to love me again, I met and married my 7th grade sweetheart. Hadn't seen him in YEARS and we fell in love for real this time, not just puppy love. We married on September 14, 1991 and he died November 4, 1992 of a massive heart attack. Prior to him dying, he had been in the hospital and had actually died there and was gone for 10 minutes total before they brought him back with the paddles. He said they "Hurt like Hell" and that you never want to have them paddle you back to life. Anyhow, while he was "out", he had a near death experience and said it was BEAUTIFUL. His experience was that he was in a room with wooden benches and there were other people there sitting on the benches waiting. He said that there was a huge wooden door there and he was trying to go through the door but a voice on the other side told him he had to "go back". His attention then went to a small child who was also waiting and was scared. My late husband went to the child to comfort him and told him not to be scared. Again, he went to the door to try to go through....was told to go back again.

While in the hospital trying to recooperate before he died, my late husband told me this experience and also told me that he fully expected me to get on with my life if this "situation" didn't get better. He also told me to never be afraid to die because where he was was the most beautiful place he had ever seen and he did not want to come back.

People will believe what they want to believe about near death experiences; some will say it is your brain shutting down while others believe there is a better place than here. This is called free will. My free will choses to believe what my late husband said.

I am now 61 years old. I have lost a brother-in-law at age 17, my Dad, my Mom, my favorite Aunt and Uncle, my father-in-law, a nephew at age 22, a great niece at age 4 and recently had open heart surgery for an aneurysm. LIFE HAPPENS and so does death...it is all part of what makes us who we are.

If you still have issues with death and it causes severe anxiety, maybe talking with a professional will help you. In the meantime, please don't be scared, nothing to be afraid of..I care.
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Old 02-25-2009, 07:41 AM
 
Location: anywhere
1,730 posts, read 2,583,039 times
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Conneticut Pam,


I am sorry for your losses but I loved reading the story about your late husband.


I am not afraid to die. But then I am Catholic and believe that there is an afterlife so that may help. If I am wrong and there is nothing I certainly will never know it because my last thought will be that I am going home to meet my maker. When my Great Grandmother was about to die she told my Aunt to leave the room for a few minutes seemingly to give her a bit of privacy for something. The last thing my Aunt saw her do was give a little wave and a big smile. Then she heard my Nana say oh hello to someone and then she passed. Nobody was in the room with her and there was a huge smile on her face as if she had seen the most beautiful thing in the world. I hope that when I die there will be a big smile on my face after I have passed.


I don't know how to convince someone to not be afraid to die. I wish I did. Definately speak with a counselor.
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