Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Does anyone go through extreme cases of this? I seem to always be longing for the past. I find myself having more thoughts throughout sleeping of being able to be in the past. Sometimes I find myself very upset in the dreams/sleep. It isnt even thinking of making better choices, it is just going back to that certain time. I know people have these feelings, but for some reason i think mine is more extreme then just the normal "oh i wish i could be there again". I would just like to see if anyone else experiences this. Its funny, some of the times i long for were probably NOT the best times in my life. Is it just wanting to do something that I cant do(ie:going back in time) Im sure in a few years I will be longing for this time period.
Does anyone have any advice or input?
Thanks a lot.
Clearly your past brings better memories than my past does. Personally, I've got too many bad memories associated with my past...yeah, I've got a good, clear, realistic memory of "the way things were". I'll just stay right here in the present, thank you.
I think in terms of having "chapters" in my life. And right now I'm in a brand new "chapter" that seems pretty foreign to me. (So far anyway!) But I know I will get a "grip" on things eventually and make this "chapter" important and special too!..When we go through "big voids" in our life it's easy to make the past "all and everything" because our current life seems so "empty" and "vague."...Losing my husband created a "big void" for me. And now I have to find a way to "regroup" and "reinvent" myself so I can keep creating "new chapters" in my life that have meaning too!...I can't stay "frozen in time" and live in the past forever. If I do this I might as well be dead myself. (Like my husband!)...I'm not dead. I'm still alive! So obviously I still have new "chapters" to "write" and "live" before it's my time to "go" too! Who am I without my husband and all of my other loved-ones who have died? I'm still a "somebody" with a life to live right here in the present and in the future too! I'll get through this "void" and make this current "chapter" of my life pretty darn interesting one day soon!
Funny thing, lately I've been thinking of those days as a kid when ya weren't really all that sick but got to stay home. It would be cold out, snowing and I'd sit and watch from my cozy bed. I think thats because I feel overwhelmed, tired and alone, having no one to depend on and wishing I could just curl up and not have the worry and responsibility anymore. Obessing over the past often means one isn't happy with the present. Fixing it is easier said than done.
been going through this a lot lately..my mother who i was close to passed unexpectadly which im sure doesnt help, but even a counselor i was seeing was puzzled by my longing, especially since those times werent perfect in my life. The funny thing is i would not change one thing...it would be just to be in that part of my life again. I dont know if i will ever get over the extreme nostalgia or not. I think i have been dealing with this since probably my mid 20s and im now 31. Like i have said everyone probably goes through this, but i dont think to the extent i do.
How old are you?
You may be going through the wonderful process of facing your mortality.
I'm not suggesting you're near death but if you're in your 40's or beyond, you've most likely come to that point where you realize you don't live forever.
Looking back is natural.
But it might not be so good to dwell on it in a habitual way.
It may be helpful to remember and "capture" that essence of youth ... that "springtime and blossoming of youth" where it seemed that life would extend infinitely into the future (in all directions) and the limitations that we came to accept (or resign to) as we got older weren't as prevalent or obvious or overwhelming.
If you can get that feeling / sense back and "apply" it now, it may be helpful.
There's a tendency to close down and become more rigid and fixed as we get older.
Time seems to be an enemy and it seems to be running out fast (not a good way to relate to time btw).
In youth, we're open and flexible and have not been so beat up by life yet.
So again, maybe it is the essence of your youth that you're longing for and needing (and can indeed recover).
been going through this a lot lately..my mother who i was close to passed unexpectadly which im sure doesnt help, but even a counselor i was seeing was puzzled by my longing, especially since those times werent perfect in my life. The funny thing is i would not change one thing...it would be just to be in that part of my life again. I dont know if i will ever get over the extreme nostalgia or not. I think i have been dealing with this since probably my mid 20s and im now 31. Like i have said everyone probably goes through this, but i dont think to the extent i do.
I've been dealing with these thoughts lately, but I'm a lot older than you are (53, almost 54). The times I am longing for were not perfect, but they included people who are dead now. I miss them.
The time I am thinking of is 10 - 12 years ago. I was divorced, my daughter was a little girl, and I lived in my parents house, where my maternal grandmother, in her 90's, also lived. My brother, also divorced, lived there, too (it's a large house, the home where I grew up) and his daughter would come on the weekends and our girls played together.
Now my grandmother, father, and brother are all dead. My daughter is grown and lives three hours away, and my niece is engaged and I see her once or twice a year. I had to move sixty miles away and I don't know many people where I am now. I long for that time when there were people around a dinner table, people home in the same house as I was. Sometimes it was annoying as all hell, and I wished I were alone, lol.
But those days are gone forever, as are the people. My mother is still alive, and I see her every month or so, but now I just kind of feel like there is nothing left to look forward to except working, paying bills, and then getting ready to die. There are no more family times. I have other siblings and we do see one another once or twice a year on the big holidays, but I am the only one who is not married/does not have a significant other, so I feel like the oddball even when we do get together. I dread getting old. It just seems as if it is going to be so damn sad.
i have a feeling im going to deal with this forever...i feel like im the only one who deals with this as strongly as i do...it seems like the only time i feel happy or excited is when i think of doing something to relive my past...at least a lot of the times. The odd thing is this is someone who has been sucessful in things lately, strength sports, and other things. It even preplexed my counselor, because my growing up yrs were not perfect my any means...and were somtimes hard.
I want to go back to before January 5, 1973, when at age 17 I met my husband, who I was with until March 2011. Before this time, my family was a close-knit group of females. We loved the Detroit Tigers and made it a point to attend every home game through 1973. My husband turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. Now, I am alone, most of my beloved family has passed, and there is estrangement with my one sister's line. My favorite time of the day is when I am so tired I pass out when my head hits the pillow, the worst time for me in when I wake up and realize I am still alive and in great emotional pain.
Lorazepam is a God-send, it keeps me from falling apart. Zoloft made me so depressed I couldn't leave my living space. As a Christian I know this will pass or get better, but going through the emotional pain is pure misery. I wouldn't wish this on anyone!
We have all got memories of in the past that were good, so it is easy in moments of dispair to think of those times. The fact of the matter is that we can never go back, so it is useless to put much energy or time in thinking about it. Your time would be better spent thinking of way to improve your life and your future right now.
funny thing is when i think about ways of "improving" my life or something that i somewhat look forward to...it involves somehow attempting to relive the past or at least experience those memories as close to, as possible. I cant say that i never get excited for something, but i would venture to say at least 50-75 percent of the timet that is the case. Especially being in a certain place that invloved those memories again...ie looking forward to travelling back to a certain place where a lot of those memories were.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
