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Old 11-22-2009, 10:37 PM
 
126 posts, read 198,182 times
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My father smoked for 40 years one to two packs a day. Driving used to always take twice as long as it should because he would stop at every rest area or excuse to take a smoke.

One day five years ago he decided to quit. He hasn't smoked a cig since that day. There's no such thing as addiction, it's just a lack of willpower. Addiction is a choice of least resistance.
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:41 PM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 2,608,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
I'm a bit perplexed as well, in a recent 10 page thread you started you were PO'd because one of them wouldn't come over for your dinner. So, you are talking out both sides of your mouth on this. Don't make me have to get the thread out.
Wow, remind me not to ever get on your bad side! I sure wouldn't want you "getting threads out" on me. lol
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Old 11-23-2009, 01:36 AM
 
47,585 posts, read 35,983,019 times
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Originally Posted by UrbanBlasphemy View Post
Excuse me for saying, and I mean you no disrespect, but that's B.S. Your first sentence anyway. Ok, so you're partially right, and partially wrong. There IS Always something that someone can do. Even if they don't know jack crap about things.
In the way that you suggest, yes there is always something someone can do but only as long as someone gives up the idea they can rescue others. Well- intentioned people can believe they have the power to make someone stop drinking or abusing when they have no power at all to do this.

There are people who can help but a lot of people who may want to help will only end up becoming part of the problem. Very often the alcoholic/addict has plenty of people around who care, who very much want to help, plenty of people will make an effort to save him or her. There are those people who try to help by scolding, or try to help by hiding the bottles, or try to defend and comfort even help the alcoholic deny there is a problem, or lend money so his problems go away. Some people might try to help by trying to make the alcoholic see the errors of his way, get him to feel guilt, others will try a motherly approach instead, help him with the pity.

Yes you're right there are is always something someone can do but I don't think everyone has it in them to do the right thing. The AA approach isn't for everyone but I believe for the enabler it has some good tips. One is the serenity part, to know what one can change and what one cannot change. Another is to realize that you cannot control the addict so that means forget using mind games on them, forget trying to manipulate them, forget trying to apologize for them, pity them, explaining to them and all those traps people who care fall into.

Yes there is that about the unconditional love - but that is after one learns that is all one can really offer and after one has stopped allowing oneself to be conned. In other words - in order to help you have to first end all the bull**** in yourself. Most people are powerless when up against their own bull**** and so cannot rescue someone else.
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Old 11-23-2009, 03:05 AM
 
Location: AR
564 posts, read 1,591,631 times
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They're just addicts. They're not "sick". They don't have a "disease."

When I hear alcoholism or something to that effect called a disease, I want to slap someone....Go look someone dying of cancer in the eyes and tell them you have a disease too, because you're an alcoholic. Here's the thing--they didn't decide they wanted cancer, it wasn't a choice (a lot of types, at least).
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Virginia
6,530 posts, read 9,226,268 times
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Originally Posted by undertheironsea View Post
They're just addicts. They're not "sick". They don't have a "disease."

When I hear alcoholism or something to that effect called a disease, I want to slap someone....Go look someone dying of cancer in the eyes and tell them you have a disease too, because you're an alcoholic. Here's the thing--they didn't decide they wanted cancer, it wasn't a choice (a lot of types, at least).
I've heard it said that alcoholism is one of the only "diseases" that is brought on by the "victims" own personal choice....

If one is pre-disposed to the "condition" or believes that is possible then don't drink!!! I think most of us who are objective have probably noticed that "alcoholism" is the excuse people label themselves with to get people to understand and forgive them when they've made an alcohol induced mistake....

Ever notice that all of these people go to "rehab" after they've cheated on their spouse, hit their kid, missed work, got into a car accident, etc... They go hide in an AA class to learn about their "disease" which I'll bet most don't even believe in, but are willing to pretend rather than have to take any personal responsibility for their actions...

Take ownership of your faults, do what you have to do to make yourself right, but do NOT infect your family and friends with your talk of your "disease"...

Yeah, I've got a little experience with this one..

Edit: Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed, my opinion is that addiction IS 100% PURE SELFISH!!!
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:36 AM
 
4,248 posts, read 6,704,107 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhett_Butler View Post
I've heard it said that alcoholism is one of the only "diseases" that is brought on by the "victims" own personal choice....

If one is pre-disposed to the "condition" or believes that is possible then don't drink!!! I think most of us who are objective have probably noticed that "alcoholism" is the excuse people label themselves with to get people to understand and forgive them when they've made an alcohol induced mistake....

Ever notice that all of these people go to "rehab" after they've cheated on their spouse, hit their kid, missed work, got into a car accident, etc... They go hide in an AA class to learn about their "disease" which I'll bet most don't even believe in, but are willing to pretend rather than have to take any personal responsibility for their actions...

Take ownership of your faults, do what you have to do to make yourself right, but do NOT infect your family and friends with your talk of your "disease"...

Yeah, I've got a little experience with this one..

Edit: Oh, and in case you hadn't guessed, my opinion is that addiction IS 100% PURE SELFISH!!!
Good post. Well, after fixing my friend now, my friend is now saying he is not going to visit me. Shrug. So I go through girations trying to see he will be ok and now he just bails on me. I needed his help with a couple of things. Anyway, just ticked off this morning. More excuses about "things don't seem right" and blah, blah, blah. The truth is that now that his crisis is over he probably just wants to kick back and use more.

Yes, the disease talk is a bunch of crap. It's an addiction to be sure. It does cause disease, to be sure. But it's not a disease in the traditional sense of the word like asthma or cancer or fibromyalgia.
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:42 AM
 
4,248 posts, read 6,704,107 times
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Originally Posted by james011 View Post
My father smoked for 40 years one to two packs a day. Driving used to always take twice as long as it should because he would stop at every rest area or excuse to take a smoke.

One day five years ago he decided to quit. He hasn't smoked a cig since that day. There's no such thing as addiction, it's just a lack of willpower. Addiction is a choice of least resistance.
That is wonderful your father was able to just up and quit like that!

However, there is such a thing as addiction. Cells change and become adapted to drugs. Once the drugs are gone this results in a huge imbalance in homeostasis and then the smoker/drinker/drug user wants more. This creates the vicious cycle.
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:43 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
22,537 posts, read 27,184,127 times
Reputation: 23096
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Good post. Well, after fixing my friend now, my friend is now saying he is not going to visit me. Shrug. So I go through girations trying to see he will be ok and now he just bails on me. I needed his help with a couple of things. Anyway, just ticked off this morning. More excuses about "things don't seem right" and blah, blah, blah. The truth is that now that his crisis is over he probably just wants to kick back and use more.
Well hopefully he'll enjoy his Thanksgiving in his own way and hopefully the dilemma where yours is concerned will result in your enjoying yours too. That was a hard choice to make between the alcoholic friend and the former crack users ...
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:44 AM
 
Location: 2nd state in the union...
2,382 posts, read 2,608,439 times
Reputation: 1570
Quote:
Originally Posted by movin'on View Post
Good post. Well, after fixing my friend now, my friend is now saying he is not going to visit me. Shrug. So I go through girations trying to see he will be ok and now he just bails on me. I needed his help with a couple of things. Anyway, just ticked off this morning. More excuses about "things don't seem right" and blah, blah, blah. The truth is that now that his crisis is over he probably just wants to kick back and use more.

Yes, the disease talk is a bunch of crap. It's an addiction to be sure. It does cause disease, to be sure. But it's not a disease in the traditional sense of the word like asthma or cancer or fibromyalgia.
I'm sorry, but to bring up a word that you used in the title of this post....doesn't this make you a bit selfish, too? You wanted him to come, he has changed his mind and now you're irked because you needed his help. Nice.
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:46 AM
 
4,248 posts, read 6,704,107 times
Reputation: 1393
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Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
Well hopefully he'll enjoy his Thanksgiving in his own way and hopefully the dilemma where yours is concerned will result in your enjoying yours too. That was a hard choice to make between the alcoholic friend and the former crack users ...
LOL!

As things stand, I'll just spend it alone with my two adorable shih tzus and my cat.
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