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Um, so? He also had brown hair. That's not a symptom either.
Let's not confuse BPD with sociopathic behavior.
Quote:
Dr. Hare's Checklist (Sociopathic Traits)
1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.
6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.
7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS -- a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
14. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
15. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE -- a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
I have a family member with BPD/Mania. Here are her "symptoms":
She's extremely narcissistic.
She will spend/go through large sums of money quickly.
She is loud and obnoxious. Especially so, if she feels no one is paying attention to her.
She never really accepts blame/responsibility for her poor choices unless it is a way to manipulate a situation and/or person.
Boundless energy.
Drinks (alcohol/self medicates), and eats heavily.
First I want to thank everyone who replied to my post, I greatly appreciate the feedback because I am really hurting & have remained silent for far too long always stiffling the hurt and anger I feel. Second, I understand the skepticism but until you have lived with someone with this disorder you can't understand just how bad it is. This person I deal with that has BPD is in fact my mother, it's not a relationship that I can just get out of quickly, this is not a case of an abusive boyfriend that I can leave- it's my mom. My childhood was a LIVING HELL and things are not a whole lot better now. I had to move back in with her after I was gravely injured and needed surgery. The worst problem is the fact that 80% of the time she is a great mother and great friend who is very supportive. However, 20% of the time she is a monster, a manipulative, violent bully who has said and done things that I wouldn't do to my worst enemy. You never know what "mother" you will wake up to, can you imagine what that does to a child? I walked on eggshells all the time and was a nervous wreak. I was terrified(sp?) of her. She's a master manipulator too, so nobody would ever believe that she was anything but a perfect mother, she plays the mayrter role to perfection and since my parents divorced and my dad unavailable, she was my only parent and I had nowhere to run. My grandmother lived with us until she died when I was 12yrs old and she NEVER helped to stop the abuse even one, nobody did. I am still filled with rage at my mother and my family for allowing this to go on unchecked. I did try to confront my mother about the abuse but she denies anything of the sort ever happened, once again I am all alone. I am glad I found that book and now at least know why my mother acts as she does. BPD is very real and I hope you never have to ever deal with it.
I absolutely know what you are going through. However, I believe it isn't a disease or a disorder. Sorry. Human flaws or chronic rudeness isn't a disease or an illness. LOL. It is laughable to think so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilred0005
First I want to thank everyone who replied to my post, I greatly appreciate the feedback because I am really hurting & have remained silent for far too long always stiffling the hurt and anger I feel. Second, I understand the skepticism but until you have lived with someone with this disorder you can't understand just how bad it is. This person I deal with that has BPD is in fact my mother, it's not a relationship that I can just get out of quickly, this is not a case of an abusive boyfriend that I can leave- it's my mom. My childhood was a LIVING HELL and things are not a whole lot better now. I had to move back in with her after I was gravely injured and needed surgery. The worst problem is the fact that 80% of the time she is a great mother and great friend who is very supportive. However, 20% of the time she is a monster, a manipulative, violent bully who has said and done things that I wouldn't do to my worst enemy. You never know what "mother" you will wake up to, can you imagine what that does to a child? I walked on eggshells all the time and was a nervous wreak. I was terrified(sp?) of her. She's a master manipulator too, so nobody would ever believe that she was anything but a perfect mother, she plays the mayrter role to perfection and since my parents divorced and my dad unavailable, she was my only parent and I had nowhere to run. My grandmother lived with us until she died when I was 12yrs old and she NEVER helped to stop the abuse even one, nobody did. I am still filled with rage at my mother and my family for allowing this to go on unchecked. I did try to confront my mother about the abuse but she denies anything of the sort ever happened, once again I am all alone. I am glad I found that book and now at least know why my mother acts as she does. BPD is very real and I hope you never have to ever deal with it.
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Finally, after my second suicide attempt I got diagnosed with it.
Thank You
