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Ok. Well I wish I had something to help you out...but I don't. I am engaged to a wonderful young lady in Sweden. I would devestated if we had such trouble trying to get her moved here. Have you considered another country other than Mexico or the US for all of you to settle in? Per haps Canada or something.
Where in Mexico is your husband from? Where does his family live? It would make sense that the three of you live within that support network that already exisits. I am sure both of you would find a job easier that way.
If that is not a viable option for one reason or another, move to a border town (take your pick). You can rent a place there and travel back and forth for work (for example, you could work in the US and cross the bridge and go back "home" in the afternoon). You might even be able to keep your son in a US public school and take him with you, if you could show residency in that community (try renting out an apartment to get some bills in your name. Maybe you could live there a month, and see if weekend visits across the border are enough. If not, keep the addy for school and job purposes, and then move to the other side of the border where your hubby could rent a place in his name.
Those are the best alternatives I see for you. If all else fails, and he HAS to bein Mexico for 10 years, get your US teaching degree in two years on an accelerated plan, then apply for jobs at American schools in Mexico where you will be paid a liveable salary and could maybe even have your son attend school.
Just don't rush into anything, remember that in Mexico you are not the child's mother legally either...and you cannot own property within a certain distance of the border or oceans....all factors to keep in mind.
I guess I misled you, Lindsey. I don't work for the INS; I should have phrased that differently (don't even remember what I wrote, but it was probably late at night and I probably made it sound like I do). I have been there many times as a translator. So I meant that I have translated for the INS, but I don't work for the INS.
I wonder if you are implying that you would like for my employment to be jeopardized, as if I deserved punishment for loving an "undocumented" person. If you are not married, perhaps you don't realize that for many people it doesn't take much time to realize who is "the one." When my husband told me from the get-go how he arrived in this country, I was very apprehensive about getting involved. Nonetheless, I would describe it as a magnetic attraction, like a moth to a flame. He was irresistible to me. He still is. His immigration status did not change who he was as a man, and it did not make him less of a human being.
Also, it is unnecessary to use present tense. He is no longer breaking the law. He is in Mexico, as I have stated.
Besides which I felt that the circumstances under which he arrived were very different from someone who wished and flagrantly broke the law. As I mentioned, he was not a drug-taker, did not drink, and obeyed the laws in the U.S. other than his presence here.
Where in Mexico is your husband from? Where does his family live? It would make sense that the three of you live within that support network that already exisits. I am sure both of you would find a job easier that way.
If that is not a viable option for one reason or another, move to a border town (take your pick). You can rent a place there and travel back and forth for work (for example, you could work in the US and cross the bridge and go back "home" in the afternoon). You might even be able to keep your son in a US public school and take him with you, if you could show residency in that community (try renting out an apartment to get some bills in your name. Maybe you could live there a month, and see if weekend visits across the border are enough. If not, keep the addy for school and job purposes, and then move to the other side of the border where your hubby could rent a place in his name.
Those are the best alternatives I see for you. If all else fails, and he HAS to bein Mexico for 10 years, get your US teaching degree in two years on an accelerated plan, then apply for jobs at American schools in Mexico where you will be paid a liveable salary and could maybe even have your son attend school.
Just don't rush into anything, remember that in Mexico you are not the child's mother legally either...and you cannot own property within a certain distance of the border or oceans....all factors to keep in mind.
Thank you. The border idea has been suggested to me by others. I would view it as a last resort, mainly because border cities are notorious for their high crime rate. Also, weekend visits would be preposterous since the child is not mine...how does anyone expect a stepparent to raise the stepchild alone without a biological parent in the picture? Especially a "tween."
I have a college degree in graphic design which is what I have done for our small business all this time, so perhaps I could see about getting an online degree in teaching. Might not require too much. Good idea.
As far as where his family lives, his father lives in southern Puebla in a tiny village. One of his sisters lives some distance from there. I believe my husband wants to live somewhat close, but not too close mainly because it's very hot in that part of Puebla and I am fair-skinned and have a tendency to faint when I get overheated. The cities of Cuautla and Cuernavaca are not too far from my father-in-law and are much cooler. I just hope we can afford a home there when I get everything sold here.
I have thought of it; however, I'm not at all sure that it would be easy to get permission to move the whole family there (to Canada, I mean), apart from the fact that we know absolutely no one there. But if there's a will, there's a way. If we cannot hack it in Mexico and can find some legal way to immigrate to a third country, we will certainly research it all we can.
If your young lady has never been here illegally (meaning even having overstayed a tourist visa), you'll probably be fine; however, marrying someone from another country is rife with complications sometimes. A friend of mine is marrying a man from an African country and they have been waiting two years to get him over here. She's going out of her mind with the wait. I hope all goes well for you, and make sure to cross your t's and dot your i's just so!
Their is a misconception on the issue of the 6 months VISA. Mexican Law says that a person CAN only have (2) 180 day VISAS in a 365 day year. You have a 180 day VISA and have to return at the end of that time period and WAIT 5 or more days to apply for another 180 day VISA. You must re-enter the US and wait those days as the Mexican stamp on your passport will show them your PRIOR 180 day VISIT. They will QUESTION your motives on needing the 180 days. Explain your marriage status and they will gladly give it to you. BE SURE TO explain that you are there as a SPOUSE and NOT WORKING. Tell them you are considering moving to Mexico and at this time period you are looking at the prospects. I went thru this with my Mexican wife in Mexico City and traveled this way for 3 years. Buenas Suerte, Stefhen
Cuautla and Cuernavaca are okay cities, but they're not too nice. Cuernavaca is mainly for tourists, so there's places that can be very expensive for being Mexico. Have you considered moving to a border town? Reynosa Tamaulipas is an okay city and it's right in the border with Hidalgo, Texas. That way, you could come and visit and even do your shopping in the U.S.; many people do so every day. Being close to the U.S. (20 minute driving distance) could help you adjust more to living in Mexico. Your family could also come down to visit easily. Also, since it's a border town, I doubt you will need a VISA to stay in Mexico. You get your VISA checked when you go 30 kilometers into the country, so in Reynosa, Tamaulipas, you won't need the VISA unless you have to work. You could also get employment as a U.S. citizen in Reynosa in their many American factories, and get paid in dollars. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's an option to think about. Good luck! :-)
They discuss visas and different cities in Mexico.
I don't know why the abandoned spouse provisions didn't apply to your husband, especially since he has sole custody of the child from his ex-partner, but the immigration laws now are really messed up. Not to mention that he wasn't even a spouse but a rape victim. Maybe your attorney tried this but as I said, the immigration decisions are really backwards these days.
Foreign Service personnel seem to like living in Juarez, on the other side of El Paso. Their children cross the border every day for school. Maybe there are a lot of other couples in your situation living there as well.
About Canada, there is a point system for entrance, based on years of education and working in certain fields. They do refuse people if their children have any kind of diagnosis. You have to have a profession in demand. It would cost a few thousand to apply (I think they reduced the fees recently, however) and then you would have to do three years total residency within a five year period before you could apply for citizenship, so you wouldn't really be able to visit the US for a while. There are people arriving in Canada this year who came because they could not get the visa to stay in the US, and since there is a lot of work in Alberta and Saskatchewan and the Canadian dollar has strengthened so much, you might come out ahead financially.
Thank you so much. You're right. There's this witch on another forum in here that keeps writing back nasty stuff, basically telling me I deserved what I got. She didn't even bother to read all my post but asked me why I had a child with an illegal alien! LOL. Our attorney didn't try anything to do with my husband's being a victim of statutory rape...interesting. Maybe I can look into that. What do you mean by abandoned spouse provisions?
I will gladly look at all of these links. He's doing ok, but finding it hard to find a house that we will be able to afford so far. I only get to talk to him about ten minutes per day.
I'm glad to hear that the visa situation to live in Mexico might not be too difficult, also that we might consider Canada. I only have an associate degree, however, and eight years of experience in graphic design. Don't know if that would be enough for them. I'll have to look into it. I don't think ADHD would necessarily count as a "diagnosis" too difficult for them to overcome for our child.
It will be interesting to see if due to my degree I could possibly teach English in Mexico. That would get me a work visa.
Their is a misconception on the issue of the 6 months VISA. Mexican Law says that a person CAN only have (2) 180 day VISAS in a 365 day year. You have a 180 day VISA and have to return at the end of that time period and WAIT 5 or more days to apply for another 180 day VISA. You must re-enter the US and wait those days as the Mexican stamp on your passport will show them your PRIOR 180 day VISIT. They will QUESTION your motives on needing the 180 days. Explain your marriage status and they will gladly give it to you. BE SURE TO explain that you are there as a SPOUSE and NOT WORKING. Tell them you are considering moving to Mexico and at this time period you are looking at the prospects. I went thru this with my Mexican wife in Mexico City and traveled this way for 3 years. Buenas Suerte, Stefhen
Thanks! Perhaps the young woman I met was unaware of this. In any case, her husband couldn't make enough money to support them. I think it will turn out differently for us; our son is not a baby like theirs was, he is twelve, and my husband has some options there because of being a landowner. He bought up chunks of land years ago and now is trying to sell them to buy us a house. On the rest of the land he hopes to put some tienditas, and instead of selling our home here, we're going to rent it out for some additional income.
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