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Old 04-18-2008, 07:56 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,450,300 times
Reputation: 22471

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Quote:
Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127 View Post
I haven't read many posts beyond this point, so forgive me if the below has been answered...

At this point I would think the primary concern then considering his medical needs are for the son. Regardless of whether you're the step mother or biological mother, you no doubt care a great deal about him. Is it wise to take this approach by relocating him to what is for him, a completely foreign land and totally different way of life (and as you say, perhaps an area that may not have the proper medical treatments available to him).

I'm not fully up on various immigration policies, and I realize this isn't an ideal situation, but it may be best for you and the child to remain here. If the husband returns "home" to Mexico and has to wait 10 years before returning here, can he VISIT the U.S. legally to visit his son? Can you not visit Mexico for get togethers as well? The son perhaps could spend summers in Mexico with his father? Again, no, that isn't ideal, but considering again the above medical history of the child, a move such as this may do more damage to him than simply being separated from his father.

Then as someone else said, there is always that option for the husband to just come back and stay in the U.S. illegally and hope for the best. You know, there HAVE been cases where people in local communities have rallied behind immigrants who have families via their elected officials, with positive results. If you're well known in the community via neighbors, march to your state rep's office with them and see what he/she can do about it. Most officials do not want the bad PR of not helping families in situations like this stay together. Just a thought or two.

Mexico is actually not all that backward that they don't have pharmacies and ritalin and pediatricians -- they do. That condition is not some rare and strange disease, it's a commonly diagnosed childhood disorder and often over-diagnosed.

Advising someone to break the law doesn't help them. Usually illegals are better off if they opt for voluntary departure rather than be formally deported. With voluntary departure they don't have a record that bans them from legal reentry for 10 years. Once they get the court issued deportation, they are to leave the country and won't be allowed in for 10 years -- the same thing Mexico does to Americans found to be there illegally.

This woman has already decided that her love for her husband will be reason to live in his country with him. Many Americans live in Mexico and are quite happy there. A lot of the stories of people starving to death in Mexico unless they make it over to the USA are false -- that just isn't the case.
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Old 05-05-2008, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Middle of Mexico
13 posts, read 41,995 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilulissat View Post
A couple of years ago, I decided to live in Mexico with my two kids. They were 6 and 3. My husband is mexican (we went through issues with immigration too, but not nearly what it sounds like you are going through) and so I stayed with his parents. I found the experience to be amazing.

I am lucky that he is from a small town in the state of Puebla, and I get along very well with his mother, father and grown siblings. My son intimidated by going to school there, because he didn't speak any spanish, but the children were very nice to him, and he picked it up very fast.

Does your husband not have family that you can live near? That would make a difference I think. Also, I think you will find that having a Starbucks and Pizza Hut isn't that big of a deal. And shopping at Walmart isn't going to save you very much money, but dealing with the locals and supporting them (instead of the Walton family billionaires) will make a difference in the local economy.

Also, your 12 year old will struggle for a bit because of the language, but give him a couple of months and he will be fine. It is a hard age in general, but as long as you are supportive it will be okay.

I found that I made enough money teaching english classes to local children to get all the 'extras' that I was used to.

Just remember, think of it like an adventure. Just like military men who have to pack up every four years with their family and move.

I totally agree with the above. I have lived in Mexico for the past 38 years. I truely think medical care is BETTER here - in the US the doctors do not have the clinical experiance that Mexican doctors have to go thru to get their license and are much better cliniticians that do not depend 100% on lab results like in the US. Mexico is a wonderful place to live and the family values here are much better than in the US. I was widowed here 25 years ago with kids 3 to 12 and decided to stay because I was afraid to take my kids to the US, where I saw much less family values and much more danger to adolecents - have never regreted that decision. Come to Mexico - living here is fine !!
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Old 05-06-2008, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Yootó
1,305 posts, read 3,601,801 times
Reputation: 811
If Mexico is so great to live in, why are we contemplating building a wall to keep people there?
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Old 05-06-2008, 03:39 PM
 
Location: MTY, MX
291 posts, read 642,193 times
Reputation: 47
'cause USA is better
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Old 05-06-2008, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Middle of Mexico
13 posts, read 41,995 times
Reputation: 23
I do not want to start a fight here - but better for what ? Now do not get me wrong - I love the red, white and blue - but when I made my decision to stay here 25 years ago what I saw in the US was negative for families and health.

25 years later it is even worse. The food here is grown locally, maybe not organically but healthier than the very pretty produce in supermarkets in the US, which have been kept pretty by chemical fertilizers and toxic bug stuff - if you have ever had a home garden you KNOW how hard it is to keep your produce looking like a magazine picture.

Here gadgets and modern technology are more expensive - yes. But I am not convinced that "new and modern" are better for us in the long run.

The risk of a child being exposed to drugs at a very early age are about 500% more in the US - same goes for sex. Children have next to no respect for elders in the US - I shudder with the thought of raising kids in this day and age even here - but here we still can tann a backside when it is needed, and most children have extended families who all look out for them.

Sadly to say, Mexico is slowly changing - it is not as good as it was 25 years ago, but it is still a better place to raise a family IMHO.

As to why Mexicans go to the US to work , that is a cultural problem. If a Mexican worked as hard here as he does when he goes illegally to the US he would do just as well, but the Mexican culture is full of reasons for "fiestas" (parties - days off ) and being hung over the next day is another good reason not to work. In the US they work their little buns off, live in squalor to send dollars home, return, build a house or start a business and then fall into the "fiesta" pit again. After a year or two, when the money runs out they go back to do it again. Being an American with a strict work ethic, living in Mexico, you can do very well for yourself - specially in any trade related business. A carpenter for example, who is honest, delivers on time, and does decent work can make a fortune - just because his Mexican counterpart never delivers on time and does shoddy work when he is hung over.

Here you can paint your home any color YOU want - the color here, in homes, flowers, artisan objects is mind blowing and sooo up lifting. When I go to the US and see the cookie cutter houses, even in the rich neighborhoods, all the same grey or brown or brick it makes me sad. OK - here we do not have all the "things" that are available in the US but the quality of life over all is so much better.

Now I am going to duck and protect my head !
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Old 05-07-2008, 12:48 AM
 
Location: The world, where will fate take me this time?
3,162 posts, read 11,406,382 times
Reputation: 1463
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinegaroon View Post
If Mexico is so great to live in, why are we contemplating building a wall to keep people there?
Fear I guess, is not nice to live in panic I feel sorry for the people who live in fear, specially because usually fears are irrational, most of the time when the thing that you feared the most ends happening you discover that it wasn't as bad as you thought.
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Old 05-07-2008, 12:54 AM
 
Location: The world, where will fate take me this time?
3,162 posts, read 11,406,382 times
Reputation: 1463
Quote:
Originally Posted by starlight.mx View Post
I do not want to start a fight here - but better for what ? Now do not get me wrong - I love the red, white and blue - but when I made my decision to stay here 25 years ago what I saw in the US was negative for families and health.

25 years later it is even worse. The food here is grown locally, maybe not organically but healthier than the very pretty produce in supermarkets in the US, which have been kept pretty by chemical fertilizers and toxic bug stuff - if you have ever had a home garden you KNOW how hard it is to keep your produce looking like a magazine picture.

Here gadgets and modern technology are more expensive - yes. But I am not convinced that "new and modern" are better for us in the long run.

The risk of a child being exposed to drugs at a very early age are about 500% more in the US - same goes for sex. Children have next to no respect for elders in the US - I shudder with the thought of raising kids in this day and age even here - but here we still can tann a backside when it is needed, and most children have extended families who all look out for them.

Sadly to say, Mexico is slowly changing - it is not as good as it was 25 years ago, but it is still a better place to raise a family IMHO.

As to why Mexicans go to the US to work , that is a cultural problem. If a Mexican worked as hard here as he does when he goes illegally to the US he would do just as well, but the Mexican culture is full of reasons for "fiestas" (parties - days off ) and being hung over the next day is another good reason not to work. In the US they work their little buns off, live in squalor to send dollars home, return, build a house or start a business and then fall into the "fiesta" pit again. After a year or two, when the money runs out they go back to do it again. Being an American with a strict work ethic, living in Mexico, you can do very well for yourself - specially in any trade related business. A carpenter for example, who is honest, delivers on time, and does decent work can make a fortune - just because his Mexican counterpart never delivers on time and does shoddy work when he is hung over.

Here you can paint your home any color YOU want - the color here, in homes, flowers, artisan objects is mind blowing and sooo up lifting. When I go to the US and see the cookie cutter houses, even in the rich neighborhoods, all the same grey or brown or brick it makes me sad. OK - here we do not have all the "things" that are available in the US but the quality of life over all is so much better.

Now I am going to duck and protect my head !
Mexico's pretty cool huh?

Ahhhh the fiestas, to be honest that's one of the things I like the most of Mexico, you enjoy life, your friends, instead of working your buns off every day of your life.

And the colors of the houses!!! isn't pretty cool that Mexico is super colorful, full of psychedelia and life, the streets, people everything is alive and energized, I guess it's time for me to post more pics hehehehehe specially of the cool Mexico city's middle class neighboorhoods

Extremes aren't good though, but if you can balance the fiestas and friends with your job Mexico rox!!
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Old 05-07-2008, 07:40 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,450,300 times
Reputation: 22471
Quote:
Originally Posted by starlight.mx View Post
...
As to why Mexicans go to the US to work , that is a cultural problem. If a Mexican worked as hard here as he does when he goes illegally to the US he would do just as well, but the Mexican culture is full of reasons for "fiestas" (parties - days off ) and being hung over the next day is another good reason not to work. In the US they work their little buns off, live in squalor to send dollars home, return, build a house or start a business and then fall into the "fiesta" pit again. After a year or two, when the money runs out they go back to do it again. Being an American with a strict work ethic, living in Mexico, you can do very well for yourself - specially in any trade related business. A carpenter for example, who is honest, delivers on time, and does decent work can make a fortune - just because his Mexican counterpart never delivers on time and does shoddy work when he is hung over.

Here you can paint your home any color YOU want - the color here, in homes, flowers, artisan objects is mind blowing and sooo up lifting. When I go to the US and see the cookie cutter houses, even in the rich neighborhoods, all the same grey or brown or brick it makes me sad. OK - here we do not have all the "things" that are available in the US but the quality of life over all is so much better.

Now I am going to duck and protect my head !
I think that's a reason for different countries and borders and cultures.

One can respect that Mexico has a different culture, more flowery colors for their houses, a different kind of music that they like blaring on every street but still not want the USA made exactly into the same.

Mexico does not have to become exactly like the USA, the USA does not have to become exactly like Mexico, people in both countries ought to respect the laws of the other. If an American chooses to emigrate to Mexico then he should do it lawfully and learn the language of that country and fit in to that society, and vice versa. People who leave their country should also leave their flags behind, it's rude and pointless to wave them in the other country. Americans going into Mexico should not demand that they have a right to break Mexican law, should not expect to be handed anything, should make an effort to adapt and if they prefer speaking and hearing English then they shouldn't go -- and vice versa.
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Old 05-07-2008, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Middle of Mexico
13 posts, read 41,995 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I think that's a reason for different countries and borders and cultures.

One can respect that Mexico has a different culture, more flowery colors for their houses, a different kind of music that they like blaring on every street but still not want the USA made exactly into the same.

Mexico does not have to become exactly like the USA, the USA does not have to become exactly like Mexico, people in both countries ought to respect the laws of the other. If an American chooses to emigrate to Mexico then he should do it lawfully and learn the language of that country and fit in to that society, and vice versa. People who leave their country should also leave their flags behind, it's rude and pointless to wave them in the other country. Americans going into Mexico should not demand that they have a right to break Mexican law, should not expect to be handed anything, should make an effort to adapt and if they prefer speaking and hearing English then they shouldn't go -- and vice versa.
Very well put Malamute !
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Old 05-07-2008, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Rosarito Beach
334 posts, read 825,810 times
Reputation: 50
Yeah, finally some accurate and useful posts. To some in the US, if it doesn't meet "their" standards, then it is wrong, no good, third world, etc. And for them, they should stay in the US - but without the critizism of other countries/cultures that are different and of which they know little or nothing.

For many years I have visited Mexico -- I enjoy the personal "freedoms" that still exist here, the cultural differences and the Mexican people, especially their devotion to family and their courtesy to their neighbors. I now have the opportunity to live here full time and just love it . . . .
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